TWC: Things that: chap your ass, grind your gears, or bust your balls.

Piqué:

You're at the grocery store/clothing store/book store/record store/coffee shop. You've been waiting in line for a few minutes... now you're second from the front. The person in front of you is at the cashier--it's their turn to pay. And when the cashier tells them how much it's going to be, they realize, "Oh yeah, maybe I should start thinking about working on getting my money out to pay for this!". They then proceed to fish through their purse for the correct debit card to use. Oh wait, they also have air miles--hold on, the card is somewhere in there... Oh actually, foget debit, they think they have enough cash to pay. Now they've forgotten... umm... how much is it again? ... Oh goody--If they can just find a dime and a penny they think they might have exact change!! How convenient (for everyone)!

Quebec. Why you gotta be so different? And whay you gotta constantly remind me of it? You gotta have your own place on my beer bottles? You can't just go along with the rest of the country? You gotta set your own deposit price and announce it on my beer bottle label in big writing? Why don't you go fcuk yourself Quebec?

People that dress their dogs up should be shot.

Wax paper muffin wrappers. I'm pretty sure their proper name is "Baking Cups". First of all, they prevent the muffin from cooking evenly. Everybody knows the top is by far the best part and the bottom is third rate (note: yes I know there are only 2 parts to a muffin). Do people not know that these wrappers are unnecessary?! Don't bakers at least know that? Muffins can be baked without the fucking wrapper people. They're not going to burn or stick to the pan. Plus the wrappers make it work to eat a fucking muffin.Shouldn't eating baked goods should be efforless and totally pleasurable? The worst is when you try to remove the baking cup and half the fcuking muffin sticks to the paper.

I hate people that wear Santa Hats at Christmas time and think they're being cute. You're not cute! I don't care if you love Christmas. I don't care if you fancy yourself a jolly, generous, festive person. You're not Santa. So get that fucking red thing off your head you fcuking muppet. I hope you have children so I can kick them in the fucking face or something... and then you can feel the pain I feel when I look at you.

Kevin:

1. I hate ignorant people who think they are better than you because of a title or job position.
2. I hate the fact that shit in the world is not getting done NOW. We know the world is suffering from climate change and global warming..blah blah blah...but everyone just looks at the problem and says, "well yea, we need action." fuckin' A buddy.
3. I hate sprinting the length of a soccer field in the attempts to get a pass on the fly to either score a goal or lay off the ball to someone who can score but then reach the end of the field, calling and yelling for the ball and not get it!! pretty much I hate that!! When high effort = NO Payout!!
4. The amount of plastic bottles that get used EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY!! and I dont even mean globally, or nationally, but let’s keep it simple...think of BC and how many plastic bottles get used in a day.
5. I don’t have statistics but I’m sure it’s a lot...too many. It really gets my goat. Cooking yourself dinner, or ordering a meal at a restaurant.....only to find out it's cold. I can't STAND that. Cold hot meals.


Benji:

1. Waking up before 10am
2. The entire SFU business faculty (students, teachers, faculty, everyone)
3. Varsity athletes in SFU sweatsuits
4. slobish eating (I know I eat slobish, I mean real slobby- straightup piggish)
5. People who ask the question "Whats your favorite band?"


Big E:

It was really hard to narrow it down. Who knew I had so much detest in my life?

5. Chicken. This aversion stems from two sources: 1. consuming enough chicken breasts in my first two years of University to circle the earth and 2. seeing chickens being trucked to their death and the chicken processing plant on Hastings and Commercial (not to mention to caustic smell). I am willing to say that I could go the rest of my life, never missing chicken.

4. Bouncers. I had to stereotype, but let's be real. Almost all bouncers and meat-head jocks who can't add 2 + 2 and get 4. All they have going for them is their mass and extra testosterone. They exert power over us poor bar-goers stuck in line like they were the reincarnation of God herself. What really grinds my gears though is that as a patron you have absolutely no other option than to bow to their "muscle-flexing" (if you want to get in that is.) While freezing in line outside a half empty - and most likely barely half decent - club, I find myself silently wishing that those arrogant blockhead's soon suffer an unfortunate gym accident.

3. Bad manners. This is most definitely a Laura-ism. Whether it is at the dining room table, on the bus, or walking down the sidewalk, I expect good manners. I am no stuffy English High-Priestess (or modern day Miss Manners) but everyone should engage in a respectable level of etiquette! Call me crazy, but bad manners immediately turns me off. I can hardly stand being in the vicinity of the person committing acts of blatant incivility and, if possible, make sure to limit as much future contact as possible. Annoyance quickly turns to disrespect which is mighty close to dislike.

2. The SFU Business Faculty and the incompetent morons they employ. (Don't even get me started on Business Students...I could write a book). Every semester I am hopeful that my classes will prove useful and the faculty will be adequately skilled to teach and every semester I am supremely disappointed. You would think I would stop subjecting myself to routine let-downs and frustrations, but by the time you figure out what they are doing (stealing your money and providing worthless classes that pain you to attend) you are in too deep. They leave you with no chance of switching faculties and graduating in under five years.

1. Mowing the lawn. I abso-fucking-lutely detest this chore. It immediately puts me in a bad mood that will last for hours. This deep hatred stems from many childhood sunny afternoons spent pushing a lawn mower for hours. I am providing no more details because just thinking about it is causing me to unconsciously raise my pulse and clench my jaw.


Danes:

5. Anything to do with strategic planning, flow charts, process plans, mind maps, and conception diagrams.

4. When people crack the spine of a new book, fold the pages, or, general misuse or disrespect of books.

3.Emails that are one solid chunk of text riddled with shortcut spelling that is not for effect but rather laziness and terrible punctuation!!!!!!......???!!!??.... To be quite honest I often won’t read your email if it fits the above description.

2. Frodo Baggins. I fucking hate Frodo. Also, Elijah Wood- it is a bit of a chicken/egg dilemma.

1.How, when you are picking up a prescription, they make you wait for fifteen minutes while they talk to each other behind the counter instead of printing off a label, grabbing the box off the shelf and handing it to you. This bothers me so much so that I cannot be rational about the situation and accept it; instead I must stand, like an asshole, at the pickup counter staring at the pharmacist the entire time, subliminally sending them “I know you are wasting my time on purpose” hate vibes with my eyes which causes them to take even longer to prepare my prescription.


Bradley:

5. Aisle Seats
4. Mowing the Lawn
3. Tamara Taggert
2. People who say "libary", "chickmunk", or "katchup"
1. City Birds (Pigeons, Crows, and Seagulls)


Jillian:

must i really stop at 5? in no particular order, because really, how can you evaluate hate...

5. alberta, ontario, sometimes quebec. my anger towards these three provinces is divided approximately 65-25-10. in a perfect world, canada would consist of b.c., saskatchewan, manitoba, and the maritimes. the territories could opt in if they wanted to. actually in a really perfect world, b.c. would be a country all on its own. i've often wanted to start a bc separatist party. anyways, i hate alberta mostly. if i had superpowers, i would pick up the rockies and pierce alberta's heart with their most pointy peak. then, i'd remove it from calgary's heart, attach it to jerome iginla's stick and pierce his heart. then, edmonton could just wither away. sidebar - i hate pragmatists who must crush my dreams of separation... and everything else.

4. 30 something mothers who live in condos and invade granville island market with their 3 ill-behaved children and s.u.v strollers, who then proceed to order 3 warm, but not too hot hot chocolates for said children and a large non-fat extra hot 2 pump vanilla latte from jj bean. FIRST OF ALL, get your kids out of the fucking strollers, they're too big. better yet, just leave them at home. nobody wants to deal with them. secondly, when you get an extra hot coffee beverage, YOU ARE DRINKING BURNT MILK! that is disgusting. and so are you. and if you have to get vanilla in it to take away the taste of good espresso, just go back to tim hortons where you belong. also, you don't need a large. you're fat.

3. oprah and every single last thing associated with her. especially that c**t nate berkus.

2. umbrellas. it's just water. you're not going to die. umbrellas make people walk like assholes... even more so than they usually do.

1. andy warhol and those obsessed with him. yes, i know. and no, i don't care.
this will continue...