TWC: Favourite Will Ferrell Quote

Jenn:
MEATLOAF, FUCK


Cam:
"oh my god! that would be the greatest. sex with no women. that would be like the best of both worlds. and i like women, don't get me wrong. i just find them sexually... repulsive."

- the story of the world's first two gay men.


Benji:
This was hard to narrow it to one...

Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and i piss excellence."

-As Ricky Bobby in Talledega nights


Ellisa:
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I haven't actually watched the entirety of this movie, just parts. My dad and I may have peed our pants when watching this snipped with my brothers.

Ricky Bobby:
Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you,jesuz, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.

Fun Fact: Will Ferrell was one of the writers of this film.


Warren:
Funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny... it's like fishing with dynamite ...


Danes:
"I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite"


po:
it's so good... once it hits your lips... it's so good
re: funnel beer in old school... mostly it's the look on his face.


Bradley:
It's so damn hot... Milk was a bad choice.

TWC: Post Secret

I've cheated on my boyfriend before.

I love Sausage McMuffins and Britney Spears.

i was once forced to dance with scarves... it just wasn't right for me at the time.

I keep a reserve stock of Q-tips in my top nightstand drawer.

I actually enjoy watching Sex in the City. As much as I say it's just because my girlfriend made me watch it... I can honestly say that I got into it. I mean I will never get over the fact that Carrie cheated on Aiden. Come on Carrie, you guys were meant for each other! And you left him for Big! What were you thinking. Anyways, it's complicated.

I have a extremely large space between my big and second toe, so muchso that my own mother is repulsed by looking at my feet. That is why you may see me in flip flops, but hardly ever in bare feet.

I really like the song "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguileria

when i was on the road once, i happened to pass through this town called cranbrook, close to kimberly, where i used to live. i wandered into a pub and sat down and drank many pints of beer and smoked many cigs. started checking out this girl playing pool. as i looked closer at her i realized it was an ex-girlfriend of mine. went over and said hello and hugged her. we talked for a bit then went off to another bar. then another. at the end of the night she invited me to stay at her place. i figured this was better than sleeping in the car again, so i agreed. along the way i told her i was sorry that our relationship hadn't worked out, because at the time she had acted really heart-broken. she said, "that's ok. i was actually sleeping around on you all over the place." when we got to her apartment she tried really hard to get it on with me, but i wasn't really into it anymore. she gave up on me and went to sleep on the couch leaving me alone in her bed.
later that night i woke up standing in a dark place, pissing. i knew it wasn't the washroom. looked around for a light and finally found one. i was in a big walk-in closet in her hallway pissing all over her clothes. i mean all over. like, probably a couple litres worth. i choked. felt terrible for about five seconds. then i was over it. shook, put it away, went back to bed. woke up the next day and she had gone to work. she left a note and told me to make myself comfortable and she'd make us a nice dinner when she got home. i showered, got dressed and split. hopped in the car and drove to nelson. never saw her again. don't think i've ever told anyone about that.

TWC: Things that: chap your ass, grind your gears, or bust your balls.

Piqué:

You're at the grocery store/clothing store/book store/record store/coffee shop. You've been waiting in line for a few minutes... now you're second from the front. The person in front of you is at the cashier--it's their turn to pay. And when the cashier tells them how much it's going to be, they realize, "Oh yeah, maybe I should start thinking about working on getting my money out to pay for this!". They then proceed to fish through their purse for the correct debit card to use. Oh wait, they also have air miles--hold on, the card is somewhere in there... Oh actually, foget debit, they think they have enough cash to pay. Now they've forgotten... umm... how much is it again? ... Oh goody--If they can just find a dime and a penny they think they might have exact change!! How convenient (for everyone)!

Quebec. Why you gotta be so different? And whay you gotta constantly remind me of it? You gotta have your own place on my beer bottles? You can't just go along with the rest of the country? You gotta set your own deposit price and announce it on my beer bottle label in big writing? Why don't you go fcuk yourself Quebec?

People that dress their dogs up should be shot.

Wax paper muffin wrappers. I'm pretty sure their proper name is "Baking Cups". First of all, they prevent the muffin from cooking evenly. Everybody knows the top is by far the best part and the bottom is third rate (note: yes I know there are only 2 parts to a muffin). Do people not know that these wrappers are unnecessary?! Don't bakers at least know that? Muffins can be baked without the fucking wrapper people. They're not going to burn or stick to the pan. Plus the wrappers make it work to eat a fucking muffin.Shouldn't eating baked goods should be efforless and totally pleasurable? The worst is when you try to remove the baking cup and half the fcuking muffin sticks to the paper.

I hate people that wear Santa Hats at Christmas time and think they're being cute. You're not cute! I don't care if you love Christmas. I don't care if you fancy yourself a jolly, generous, festive person. You're not Santa. So get that fucking red thing off your head you fcuking muppet. I hope you have children so I can kick them in the fucking face or something... and then you can feel the pain I feel when I look at you.

Kevin:

1. I hate ignorant people who think they are better than you because of a title or job position.
2. I hate the fact that shit in the world is not getting done NOW. We know the world is suffering from climate change and global warming..blah blah blah...but everyone just looks at the problem and says, "well yea, we need action." fuckin' A buddy.
3. I hate sprinting the length of a soccer field in the attempts to get a pass on the fly to either score a goal or lay off the ball to someone who can score but then reach the end of the field, calling and yelling for the ball and not get it!! pretty much I hate that!! When high effort = NO Payout!!
4. The amount of plastic bottles that get used EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY!! and I dont even mean globally, or nationally, but let’s keep it simple...think of BC and how many plastic bottles get used in a day.
5. I don’t have statistics but I’m sure it’s a lot...too many. It really gets my goat. Cooking yourself dinner, or ordering a meal at a restaurant.....only to find out it's cold. I can't STAND that. Cold hot meals.


Benji:

1. Waking up before 10am
2. The entire SFU business faculty (students, teachers, faculty, everyone)
3. Varsity athletes in SFU sweatsuits
4. slobish eating (I know I eat slobish, I mean real slobby- straightup piggish)
5. People who ask the question "Whats your favorite band?"


Big E:

It was really hard to narrow it down. Who knew I had so much detest in my life?

5. Chicken. This aversion stems from two sources: 1. consuming enough chicken breasts in my first two years of University to circle the earth and 2. seeing chickens being trucked to their death and the chicken processing plant on Hastings and Commercial (not to mention to caustic smell). I am willing to say that I could go the rest of my life, never missing chicken.

4. Bouncers. I had to stereotype, but let's be real. Almost all bouncers and meat-head jocks who can't add 2 + 2 and get 4. All they have going for them is their mass and extra testosterone. They exert power over us poor bar-goers stuck in line like they were the reincarnation of God herself. What really grinds my gears though is that as a patron you have absolutely no other option than to bow to their "muscle-flexing" (if you want to get in that is.) While freezing in line outside a half empty - and most likely barely half decent - club, I find myself silently wishing that those arrogant blockhead's soon suffer an unfortunate gym accident.

3. Bad manners. This is most definitely a Laura-ism. Whether it is at the dining room table, on the bus, or walking down the sidewalk, I expect good manners. I am no stuffy English High-Priestess (or modern day Miss Manners) but everyone should engage in a respectable level of etiquette! Call me crazy, but bad manners immediately turns me off. I can hardly stand being in the vicinity of the person committing acts of blatant incivility and, if possible, make sure to limit as much future contact as possible. Annoyance quickly turns to disrespect which is mighty close to dislike.

2. The SFU Business Faculty and the incompetent morons they employ. (Don't even get me started on Business Students...I could write a book). Every semester I am hopeful that my classes will prove useful and the faculty will be adequately skilled to teach and every semester I am supremely disappointed. You would think I would stop subjecting myself to routine let-downs and frustrations, but by the time you figure out what they are doing (stealing your money and providing worthless classes that pain you to attend) you are in too deep. They leave you with no chance of switching faculties and graduating in under five years.

1. Mowing the lawn. I abso-fucking-lutely detest this chore. It immediately puts me in a bad mood that will last for hours. This deep hatred stems from many childhood sunny afternoons spent pushing a lawn mower for hours. I am providing no more details because just thinking about it is causing me to unconsciously raise my pulse and clench my jaw.


Danes:

5. Anything to do with strategic planning, flow charts, process plans, mind maps, and conception diagrams.

4. When people crack the spine of a new book, fold the pages, or, general misuse or disrespect of books.

3.Emails that are one solid chunk of text riddled with shortcut spelling that is not for effect but rather laziness and terrible punctuation!!!!!!......???!!!??.... To be quite honest I often won’t read your email if it fits the above description.

2. Frodo Baggins. I fucking hate Frodo. Also, Elijah Wood- it is a bit of a chicken/egg dilemma.

1.How, when you are picking up a prescription, they make you wait for fifteen minutes while they talk to each other behind the counter instead of printing off a label, grabbing the box off the shelf and handing it to you. This bothers me so much so that I cannot be rational about the situation and accept it; instead I must stand, like an asshole, at the pickup counter staring at the pharmacist the entire time, subliminally sending them “I know you are wasting my time on purpose” hate vibes with my eyes which causes them to take even longer to prepare my prescription.


Bradley:

5. Aisle Seats
4. Mowing the Lawn
3. Tamara Taggert
2. People who say "libary", "chickmunk", or "katchup"
1. City Birds (Pigeons, Crows, and Seagulls)


Jillian:

must i really stop at 5? in no particular order, because really, how can you evaluate hate...

5. alberta, ontario, sometimes quebec. my anger towards these three provinces is divided approximately 65-25-10. in a perfect world, canada would consist of b.c., saskatchewan, manitoba, and the maritimes. the territories could opt in if they wanted to. actually in a really perfect world, b.c. would be a country all on its own. i've often wanted to start a bc separatist party. anyways, i hate alberta mostly. if i had superpowers, i would pick up the rockies and pierce alberta's heart with their most pointy peak. then, i'd remove it from calgary's heart, attach it to jerome iginla's stick and pierce his heart. then, edmonton could just wither away. sidebar - i hate pragmatists who must crush my dreams of separation... and everything else.

4. 30 something mothers who live in condos and invade granville island market with their 3 ill-behaved children and s.u.v strollers, who then proceed to order 3 warm, but not too hot hot chocolates for said children and a large non-fat extra hot 2 pump vanilla latte from jj bean. FIRST OF ALL, get your kids out of the fucking strollers, they're too big. better yet, just leave them at home. nobody wants to deal with them. secondly, when you get an extra hot coffee beverage, YOU ARE DRINKING BURNT MILK! that is disgusting. and so are you. and if you have to get vanilla in it to take away the taste of good espresso, just go back to tim hortons where you belong. also, you don't need a large. you're fat.

3. oprah and every single last thing associated with her. especially that c**t nate berkus.

2. umbrellas. it's just water. you're not going to die. umbrellas make people walk like assholes... even more so than they usually do.

1. andy warhol and those obsessed with him. yes, i know. and no, i don't care.
this will continue...

TWC: Top 5 BEST Combos

J-Bones

1. chocolate ice cream and milk- oh chicrème
2. stars and guitar music
3. spicy food and hot tea
4. celery and the whiz (cheese)
5. mittens and string



po:

5. teak mid-century dining furniture + hot pink
4. blackberry + basil
3. off-white black and white stripes + mustard yellow
2. ceramic bowls + wooden spoons
1. pimms + ginger




Benji:

1. fries + gravy+ cheese curds
2. Neil young and Crazy Horse
3. Ranch+ bacon bits+ baked potato
4. Wings and beer
5. Campfires and smores in summertime



Biggah:

Here are my answers (all are favourites, no particular no. 1)

Yogurt (the cloud kind), homemade granola and fresh berries.
Apple pie and cheddar cheese
Tomato, mozza and basil
Chocolate and mint
Pinapple, sour cream and brown sugar



Grecs:

1. Hookah and Tea
2. Moccasins and Housecoat (that's right folks... I own both)
3. Steak and Lobster
4. Coffee and Bailey's
5. Music and Marijuana




B*Rad:

My top 5 best combos: In order of how addicted I am. 5 representing a mild addiction. 1 representing; can't stop, binge-worthy, navel snorting, dirty acts, I need rehab treatment immeadeately addiction.

5. Salt N Pepa
4. Marijuana and Twin Peaks
3. Batcaves and Chinapple Hats
2. Jan and Victoria Bos
1. Hookers and Blow

***Hopeful combo of the future: Pigeons and Extinction




TheDanes:

5. 5pm, setting sun, front stoop, gin, tonic, lime
4. Jim and Pam, Jan and Victoria Bos, Quinton and Uma
3. Brown and turquoise
2. Whistling and songs
1. Hookers and Blow



Prokopios:

watching sports & drinking beer
good pizza & cold beer
nice cars & nice girls in bikinis
chocolate & peanut butter
t & a



Kevin:

1. Jam and Cheese. If you've never tried it, do it. Preferably on a bagel!

2. Cheese cake and Baileys!!

3. Steak and Gorgonzola!! mmmmmm....really take any type of red meat,it may work for chicken...cook it...BBQ would be my suggestion, andtop it off with blue cheese (be sure to melt it!). HEAVENLY!

4.Sun and Beer!! Who can argue that one!! haha. Hot summer days and anIce cold brewskie!!!

5. chocolate and Hazelnuts

I know what you all are thinking, this fool likes cheese too much !!It really is a world wonder!! But once I reached #3, i decided to tryand expand my thought process to exclude cheese!! Haha

TWC: Strange and Unconventional Quirks

I have this strange and unconventional quirk that is somewhat bizarre and 100% unique:

I... sneeze when I look at the sun. It's a medical condition you know!

I... have the capability to cook amazing food from barely any ingredients, but am incredibly modest about how good the fixings actually are.

I... will throw out anything that I own if a spider walks across it.

I...am deathly afraid of cityfowl, especially pigeons; also, I have a thing against most shoes and blue pillar candles.

I...hate capital letters.

I...dislike showering and was severely traumatised by the fact that because my father was cheap, throughout my childhood we could only watch one channel at a time.

I...have an ardent passion for and devotion to reggae music

TWC: PoTaToEs

Piqué:

5. Garlic Mashed Potatoes
4. Rosemary Roast Potatoes
3. Perogies
2. Aloo Paratha
1d. Curly Fries
1c. Potato Wedges
1b. Poutinea
1a. French Fries


Danes:

5. Double stuffed potatoes – bake ‘em, scoop out of the skin, mix with fabulous things like garlic and cheese and chives and bacon bits. Then return the mixture to the skin put back in the oven and bake again.

4. Campfire potatoes - this is a baked potato kicked up a notch as you burry it in the ash of a campfire pit then build the fire on top. After a few hours when the fire has died down you dig them out and fix them up in your preferred manner. They seem to melt in your mouth and have a Smokey quality that is to die for. Don’t go easy on the butter.

3. Potato Volcano. My sister Tara’s signature move. She makes the most insanely wonderful gravy then shapes her mashed potatoes into a volcano like structure, filling it with gravy lava. yummm

2. Brick O’ Fries – I f’ing love French fries. Especially fresh cut ones with the skin still on purchased from a man in a van or booth. At Bumbershoot they maintained their deep-fry-basket shape hence the name “Brick”.

1. Fried potatoes – the next morning take your leftover boiled or steamed potatoes and slice them up very thin. Fill your fry pan with glorious amounts of butter and then lay out the thin slices in the pan. Cut up green onions and add heavy doses of salt and pepper. They will become crispy, taste delicious and cause you to gain 5 pounds as well as clog all your arteries immediately upon eating.


Gerry:

#1. Baked - in a campfire with lots of sourcream
#2. Scalloped - I think this one is seriously under-rated
#3. Mashed - with Gravy
#4. Boiled - Boring
#5. Canned - didn't know these were real until my 75 year old grandfather gave us a can for X-mas.


Cam:

5. poutine. but you gotta use real gravy and real cheese curds. and double-fry the chips. that's important.

4. jacket tatties. you have to bake a large potato til the skin is fairly crisp, then you slice it in half down the middle and mash up the insides, using the skin as a bowl. then you add butter, garlic, cheese, etc. anything, really. a typical british fast food.

3. korokke pan. korokke is basically meat or shrimp or vegetables packed in mashed potatoes and then rolled in egg and flour and breadcrumbs. then you deepfry it. the "pan" part just means it's stuck in a bun, like a korokke sandwich.

2. perogies. with sour cream. 'nuff said.

1. bangers and mash. gotta be good bangers, though. lamb sausage is my favourite. and leave the damn skin on the potatoes. it's good for you.


po:

5. in home made pirohy... with feta, dill, and lemon dill sauce.

4. mashed, made into a volcano, with delicious, salty roast chicken gravy spilling out like lava.

3. sliced, doused in olive oil, wrapped in tin foil with pearl onions, garlic, salt, pepper, and oregano.
2. deep fried pomme frites with a steak at jules
1. smashed potatoes... boiled red nugget potatoes, smashed with a fork, drizzled with olive oil, mixed with salt, pepper, and minced garlic, then put in the oven at 425 for about half an hour... they turn out sooooo creamy on the bottom and CRISPY, oh god, CRISPY on top. mmmmmmmmmm.


Biggah:

HATED:

5. Potato Salad (with a creamy dressing). Starch and fat all mushed together resulting in a heavy, yellowy tinged mass. Gross.

4. Baked. Firstly, it is extremely boring to eat a potato this way because most times all you have is butter and sour cream to ease the pastiness. Secondly, many people try and put fake bacon bits on baked potatoes as well, which is absolutely repulsive. A little throw-up just crept up my mouth thinking about the smell of fake meat. Eww.

NEUTRAL:

3. Hashbrowns. No love or hate for these. Fried potatoes with cheese and green onions make a yummy compliment to an egg breakfast. But I could live without them. This apathy most likely stems from my inability as a child to enjoy these little potato morsels with a healthy topping of "red death" (according to Laura)

LOVED:

2. Mashed. Creamy, garlicky goodness. I love them whipped and hot with a nice glob of butter melting on top of them. So good. And they are mold-able, aka fun food.

1. Potato Dumplings (with plums in the middle). These are one of my grandmother's signature desserts. Potato is used as the binding agent for the dumplings and creates an absolutely sumptuous dessert. Warm Italian plums, nestled in a thick potatoe and bread crumb crust. Yumm! A little white sugar on top and you are in heaven for the 1.25 minutes it takes you to eat your portion.

Benji:

1. french fries clearly
2. roasted (garlic and herbs!)
3. baked (bacon bits and ranch)
4. breakfast home fries (the shredded kind)
5. mashed


Brad:

5. Raw; Ruthie Arp, my Grandmother's best friend eats a raw potato every morning. This is the same woman who smokes two cigarettes at a time when she is not winning at bingo, or if she is winning. She also is able to pee standing up, like a man. A story for another time. You are probably reading this thinking, "Wow, what a character". But in actuality she is quite a boring sad balding old lady.

4. Baked; Working at a fast food restaurant that prides itself on it's baked potatoes, and subsequently being burned by the "potato oven" almost every shift, you begin to develop quite a hate for those damn things. The baked potato and the work involved around it was the bane of my Wendy's existence. However, potato wars were fun.

3. Fries; They are quite tasty, but to be honest they are killing you.

2. Mashed; what a treat when someone decides to make mashed potatoes! It sure doesn't happen enough. And leftover mashed potatoes are so good.

1. Nugget/New Potatoes. From my Grandma Betty's garden, they are so tasty, for any occasion. Plus "taties" from my Grandma's garden remind me of my Grandpa, who had a song to sing about anything and everything, including potatoes,

"Have you ever seen the devil, with his little wooden shovel, diggin' taties in the garden with his nightgown on?"
Thanks for that song Grandpa, you were pretty rad. I will never forget it.


Jennybones:

MOST FAV: stuffed potatoes
2. baked potatoes with chives
3. scalloped potatotes
4. mashed potatoes
5. french fries

et c'est tout, in potato love


Rogue Wave:

5. Country Mash- No one can argue a good potato mash!! but it has to be done with the skins still on the potatoes..or at least some of the skins. Best prepared with small red potatoes which have a lighter skin!! Boil up the spuds, add sauteed garlic, butter milk, sour cream...salt, pepper, assorted herbs, chives...maybe green onions finely finely chopped for the adventurous...then mash it all up!!! mmmmmmmm

4. Plain and Fried!! sometimes simple is all you need! all you need is to peel and boil some spuds...you could leave the skin on, but quarter then when u boil them. DO NOT over boil!! drain when finished. Fry each side to golden brown in hot olive oil infused with garlic...this is done by leaving a clove of garlic whole, and unpeeled, but crushed under hand weight to sit in the olive oil as the potatoes fry!! lightly salt after frying.

3. Potato Salad. And i do not mean potato salad with any form of Mayo in it....that's just gross. Potato salad with may should never exist and should never be eaten. I do the good old fashioned German influenced potato salad which is based with mustard and vinegar..it is really upped when cucumbers are added as well!! I can not reveal this recipe though...goes down through the ages and you may have the privilege of me making it for you one day if u ask very nicely!! I will tell u it has white vinegar, a good mustard, dijon or a good Austrian mustard works best!!.....and after letting sit for a few hours a cucumber salad is added for extra crunch and crisp freshness!!!

Serve chilled...and the longer it sits in the fridge the better it tastes!!!

2. Honey Mustard potatoes. Perfect for a beef roast or pork roast side! and these kind of potatoes are very easy to make. Once potatoes are cooked by boiling, have them cut to desired size for consumption and place in fry pan with hot olive oil. Instead of adding already prepared honey mustard, its so much better to make your own on spot. add salt and pepper to the spuds. herbs....im not sure if rosemary will work with this but it may..try it out. add honey right to the potatoes and mustard...to your liking...which flavor do you favor the most!! splash of vinegar (literally) stir it up...as bob marley says.....and there u go!!

1.Breakfast Hashbrowns A La Kevin. the best of the best.....easy and great for breakfast.....may be time consuming if you;re not organized. recommended for a morning where u do not have to rush off quickly...ie/ a hung over morning!! sautee onions, garlic, bell peppers and mushrooms quickly...can add hot peppers for taste.....add potatoes...hopefully precooked...left over potatoes work well or microwaved spuds...u can use raw, but ensure they are cut VERY thin and small to speed up cooking times. Add lots of BASIL, Oregano, salt and peper. Cook to crisp. NOT burnt...brown and crisp..the finer the potatoes the closer to hash browns they will be!! these are by far my favorite way to make potatoes!!

TWC: Guide to the Class of '92

Gerry:
1. Jessie Spanno: I believe I saw her last Wednesday turning tricks on Hastings and Main.

2. Zack Morris: Works for the NYPD.

3. Lisa Turtle: After a brief stint in the fashion industry, Lisa took turn for the worse and spiraled into a coke addicted depression. Lisa was last seen in a police shootoff when a liquor store robbery went sour. May she rest in peace.

4. A.C. Slater: Married Kelly Kapowski and is now living at the Shady Pines Trailer Park. Currently unimployed.

5. Kelly Kapowski: Gaining "a few" pounds after highschool, Kelly developed an unfortunate addiction to Slim Fast diet shakes. Although her insulin levels remain dangerously low her lust for life continues to soar.



Kevin:
1. Cindy C. This name just popped into my head when I looked at her face. Shes the kind of girl that does not present her last name to anyone. She is just simple Cindy! Middle class New York city background Cindy tries desperately to be thought of as upper class by painstakingly paying attention to her looks. If asked where from, she will give a short reply of "Malibu" accompanied with a cute giggle and hair flick to draw attention. Cindy has no time for cheerleaders or other girls. She is way too cool. Cindy wants to be a nurse, so she can help others! Go get it Cindy!

2. Jon Bon Jovi. Need I say more……….

3. Maria Provokativa. Oh Maria…..que pasa? You speak good English now. And your hair looks so very nice. How is your family doing? Are they settling into their new home in southern California? Oh…they live with your 2 uncle's as well? You must be glad to be out of there finally and here in school! Maria has a tendency to be quite aggravating from time to time. But it is well countered with a perfect smile, which does not always come out in those stupid year book photos we have to take. Maria loves to skip down the hallways in between classes and she really does not like blondes.

4. "LaRock the Jock", "Maverick", "Mr. Suave" were just some of the names are old friend Bob Baker went by through high school. Quarterback of the high school football team, captain of the men's cheerleading squad, two time elected "most sexy" of the swim team are just some of the experiences which pepper his resume. How did he ever find time for all those sports and accompanying girls? Ah yes, I understand now…….."Ill take fries with that Bob…no no…the curly ones…Thanks man!!!"

5. Sarah Timmins. Or should I say Dr. Sarah Timmins. Thas right you guessed it! There had to be one success story child in this bunch. Sarah did it. She fought off the consistent badgering and teasing for being the smart one and now pulls in a six digit pay cheque. Sarah was always a timid girl but love sending time out doors. Like all girls, she ogled at Bob and had an eye on Jon bon through out high school but was really too shy to speak up. Weekends were spent at home, usually studying or helping mother with house hold chores. But little did everyone know that she also had a fancy for her Dad's old 1969 Mach 1 ford Mustang!! It now sits in her garage and is under repairs a la Sarah.



Cam:
the girl on the far left is liza lipschitz. a trust-fund girl from jersey, her interests included shopping at bloomingdales, listening to her rick astley records and finding new ways to use the word "like" in a sentence. unfortunately she developed lung cancer at a young age due to hairspray inhalation and died.

next in line is billy anderson. head of the football team. set the school record for touchdowns, keg-stands and date rapes. very popular with the ladies... right up until his grad year when his penchant for sniffing athletic-supporters was made public, after which he faded into miserable obscurity. his favourite words and terms include "gnarly", "bogus" and "fuckin' A".

next we have juanita hernadez, an exchange student from argentina. as a child, she was kicked in the head by an alpaca and suffered minor brain injuries that unfortunately permanently damaged her sense of symmetry. head of the knitting club, further interests include chastity, the virgin mother and self-righteousness.

the boy with the heart around his head is dallas kneller. dallas had a rough childhood. his neglectful parents left him to watch hours and hours of terrible after-school television, including his favourite program, "the fresh prince of bel-air". a mixture of inhalation of solvents, masterbation and general over-exposure to sit-com drivel lead to a strange "Will Smith" fetish. eventually he could only get it up for men with protruding ears and goatees.

the girl at the far right is janis o'malley. this is her yearbook. poor janis was hopelessly in love with dallas.



PK's Guide to the Class of '92:
Pat is a hot bitch. I mean that in a good way. Can't you see her looking at me with that cheeky smile and those fuck-me-eyes?

You can't really tell from this photo, but Kevin is actually cross-eyed. His "favorit class" is Phys. Ed.; his "werst" is math. He has a rockin' smile and he knows girls think he's hot.

Fashionable Vivian is shy but confident. Everyone loves her plaid turtleneck and "fun" pigtails. She comes off as consciencious because she doesn't like to party, but soon everyone will find out that she focked nine guys in her grade 11 year.

Girls love Brendin. They think he's "so cute" and "such a nice guy"--and they LOVE his puppy dog eyes. Despite this, he struggles with girls throughout high-school. They don't take him seriously. He tries steroids, hoping he'll bulk up and that the girls will start to respect him. The roids make him ill-tempered and give him bad acne and his struggles continue...

Jennifer is a major go-getter, miss popularity, and is a gossip. She is smart and polite and all the teachers love her but people close to her describe her as "moody" and, soon after high school, will be diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.



Dana:
Tammy: The one that everyone’s parents hated. Had a mother who was never around so anytime you needed to avoid curfew her house was the place. She “developed” early and had knowledge of sex and the male anatomy more so than the “Health Class” teacher, and often delighted at enlightening the other girls when the opportunity arose.

Favorite song: Like a virgin - Madonna
Last Words: “If you can’t be Good, Be Good at it”

Kimmy: Vice-President of the Cheer Squad! Dating a socially well placed linebacker on the football team. Enjoys cooking and sewing and has aspirations of having a family someday. Never uses language like fuck or cunt.

Favorite song: When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton
Last Words: All you need is Love!

Garrett: His stylish mullet made him a favourite among the ladies of Roxette High. He was a natural athlete and was the star of all the sports teams. He was also a natural asshole and was very skilful at hiding the fact that despite his 12 years of school “he can’t read good”. He is known by his buddies as “the stallion”.

Favourite song: the Stroke, Billy Squire
Last Words: “Just a man and his will to survive"

Don- A member of both the wrestling team and the track team and a decent student Don surprised everyone when he was arrested for stalking Catlin as well as assaulting Joey Jeremiah from the series Degrassi Jr High.

Favourite Song: Miss You Much – Janet Jackson
Last Words: “Joey doesn’t deserve you Caitlin”

Kristy- Was really into animation however was never taken seriously by any of her peers or teachers. Had a bit of a temper problem and was a regular at anger management classes. Was suspended in her senior year for flying into a rage and pushing a Costco size bottle of pink hand soap out of a third story window; thus creating a veritable cement slip and slide on the pavement below.

Favourite Song: Deeelite – Groove is in the heart.
Last Words: “When you grow up, your heart dies”

TWC: Favorite: dirty, smutty, salacious...

...sensual, unchaste, erotic, bawdy, fleshy.... line from a song.


Lindsay Flem:

Although this might not be the most sexually explicit song ever written, I think it disturbs me more in its subtle, yet disturbingly obvious description of oral sex. While the innuendo is obvious to the discerning ear, poor young girls and boys were completely oblivious to its hidden meaning and continued to sing along to the song in their blissful mid-90's teeny-bopping ignorance. Not to mention that the video is an absolute abomination - seriously, the intense homoeroticism and creepy 9 year old pre-thug who finds the B44 View Finder in the trash are such an awkward and unnecessary combination. The whole song is ridiculous, but the best/worst line is "Im gonna make you come tonight .... (deliberate extended pause) .... over to my house!" bahahaha I'M ON TO YOU B44 you sneaky spikey haired devils!!


Get Down: B44

If you get down on me
I'll get down on you
I will do anything
That you want me to
It's a game of give and take
To make it through
So if you get down on me
I'll get down on you tonight


PK:

"This one is pretty clever. And honesty is sexy isn't it?"

OutKast - Hey Ya!

"Don't want to meet your daddy,
Just want you in my Caddy.
Don't want to meet your momma,
Just want to make you cumma.
I'm just being honest.
I'm just being honest."

I can't choose only one. Honourable mention to this random song:
It's a techno song and that's the only lyric (repeated 3 times throughout the song).

Klubbheads - Work This Pussy

"Work this pussy you big ugly bean-eatin' ass son of a bitch. Yooo!"


B*Rad:

SEXIEST SONG EVER! TONI, YOU DIRTY GIRL!!!!!

Toni Braxton - I Get So High

I'll always think of you
Inside of my private thoughts
I can imagine you
Touching my private parts
With just the thought of you
I cant help but touch myself
Thats why I want you so bad
Just one night of Moonlight,
with you there beside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby


Big E

This song line is from the TH18 glory days. Cellar anyone?"

Lil' Jon & the Eastside Boyz - Get Low lyrics

To the sweat drop down my balls,
To all these bitches crawl.


Cam

"Big Ten Inch Record" - Moose Jackson

I cover her with kisses
and when we're in a lover's clinch
she gets all excited
and she begs for my big 10 inch...

record of a band that plays the blues
she just love my big 10 inch
record of her favorite blues

my girl don't go for smokin'
and liquor just make her flinch
seems she don't go for nothin' 'cept for my big 10 inch...


Danes:

CSS: Art Bitch

Lick Lick Lick My Art Tit!
Suck Suck Suck My Art hole!

TWC: You know you are from Vancouver when...

You know you are from Vancouver when...

Big E:
...you wear black lulus as dress pants.

Jenny:
...when you think that its ok that clothes come in size 00.

Benji:
...you make over 500,000 a year and still cannot afford a decent place to live.

Ange:
...the mention that someone is from Surrey automatically turns you off.

Kevo:
... a non-raining gray sky lifts your inner spirit!

PK:
...you talk about the erratic weather constantly.

Dana:
...you know Squire Barnes and believe the name to be as irritating as the person.

Brad:
... you can justify kicking a paraplegic in the nuts.

TWC: Birthday Stories

Pia’s Birthday:

My Best Birthday EVER: Most certainly.... Plaid and Poka dot! you guys all know the story and I've never been so SURPRISED in my life.
From the best friends ever ;-)








Jenn’s Birthday Woe:

One day, a girl arrives in France, following 24 hours of no sleep. Foreign country, no friends....its a bad set up. Oh, and it rained. AND she realized that on sundays nothing is open. not that it would have mattered because she has no friends to hang with. so, what does she decide? she goes to the local boulangerie, gets herself a cake, and a small bottle of wine. then she eats and drinks. sure, she starts to feel better...so she goes to the cinéma and watches little miss sunshine, in french, twice.

One redeeming event of this birthday- the new unknown english friends in france decide to take me out to dinner, to a weird café full of creepers where we ate warmed up pizza. quite gross.

that, my dears, is the saddest birthday ever.

the best birthday was a surprise one from Dana. but you didn't ask for two stories, so you only get one.


Dana’s Birthday Story:

My story dates back to about 1992 or 1993, it was Lauren Norman’s birthday party. The rad thing about Lauren’s parties was that her Dad baked money into the cake (wrapped in wax paper of course). This was very exciting for an 8 year old, if you never experienced it I’m so sorry.

Anyways, at that age kids have boundless energy and need to be distracted (plus we had been sugared-up with money infused cake). Lauren’s parents- being wise- had many games lined up for us; however, there is only one that I specifically remember: Memory. We were presented with a large tray full of “things”, given a time limit, and were told to try to memorize as many as we could. It was then taken away and we had to jot down as many answers as we could.

A fellow party guest and friend, Meghan Dunn, decided that rules were not her style.
While the rest of us were furiously scribbling down answers she told us she was going to the bathroom, instead, she snuck into the kitchen, peeked under the dish towel, and ran back and added to her list. My memory is faded but I believe she tried this brash manoeuvre several times and on the last assault was caught by Lauren's Mom, who scolded young Megan for cheating and disqualified her from the game.

Megan Dunn’s course in life was set; she went on to become a notorious cheater in the realm of games; both the board variety as well as the more physical. I can personally attest to the validity of this statement as I know for a fact that she cheated in Laundry room Hide-and-Go-Seek by peeking in a crack in the wall as well as tricking the opposing team into blurting out the answer in Cranium by telling them their time was up (then fighting vehemently that it was within the heckling parameters established at the games commencement).

I have every confidence that Meghan Dunn's cheating continues today, and I am hanging onto a childish hope that Lauren and Julia still find quarters and loonies in their birthday cakes.


Ellisa’s Birthday Facts:

My birthday fall on the 20th of April. This day has, throughout my life, brought about many interesting quelms, revelations and conversations. And upon researching this challenge, a few more. So here's what's rad about 4/20

570 - Birth of Prophet Muhammed, founder of Islam (d. 632) (date disputed)
1534 - Jacques Cartier begins his voyage, in which he will discover Canada and Labrador.
1808 - Birth of Napoleon III, Emperor of the French (d. 1873) First of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1889 - Birth of Adolf Hitler, leader of Nazi Germany (d. 1945) Second of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1961 - The Bay of Pigs Invasion of US troops against Cuba.
1968 - Jean-Luc Bombardier, the nephew of snowmobile inventor Joseph Armand Bombardier, is the first Canadian to reach the North Pole.
1968 - Pierre Elliott Trudeau was sworn in as prime minister of Canada.
1972 - Birth of Carmen Electra, American actress. Former wife of my secret lover Dave Navarro
1976 - Birth of Joey Lawrence, American actor. This one is for Ben: "WHOA!"
1999 - The Columbine High School massacre leaves 15 people (including the two gunmen) dead and 24 wounded in Jefferson County, Colorado.

Last, but certianly not least, Salute to Marijuana!

Four-twenty - Although many diverse theories exist to explain the origin of the term, it is widely accepted that in 1971, a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California used to meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke cannabis at the Louis Pasteur statue. The term became part of their group's salute, "420 Louis!", and became popularized in the late 1980s by fans of The Grateful Dead.

All in all April 20th shapes up to be a decent day. Whether you worship Islam, Canada, Neo-Nazism, marijuana or (by extension) Dave Navarro, 4/20's your day!


Gerry's Birthday Disaster!

This story - although now very comical - vividly details how tragic a birthday party can be. It all begins at my neighbours house for the celebration of his, lets say, 7th birthday. As far as birthday parties go, this one was a HIT! The turn-out was great, probably around 20 kids and the house was tastefully decorated with balloons, noise makers, and most importantly an enormous birthday cake in the shape of a ninja turtle. Traditionally, the birthday cake, adorned with candles, is presented to the birthday boy or girl followed by a clumsy, off key rendition of happy birthday. However, this party followed a more 'unconventional' plan. The beginning ran rather smoothly. The ninja turtle cake - I believe it was Raphael - was lit up by 8 candles (1 for good luck) and placed on the table. At this point the singing of happy birthday was fully underway but at the part around "happy birthday dear...." the song was interrupted with one of the children yelling FIRE!!

So it turns out that as the cake was being carried up the stairs from the basement where it was lit, one of those tacky 80's door curtains brushed on one of the candles and caught on fire. As with most 80's fabric, this curtain was made out of some synthetic material that quickly burst into flames. Once the rest of the children noticed the flames and the smoke, all hell broke loose. The mother immediately dialled 911 and began to round up the screaming children for evacuation while the father attempted to put out the fire himself. Long story short, the dad was taken to the hospital - and later treated for 2nd degree burns - the fire was put out and the children returned to their respective families. It was truly a celebration that I will never forget.

This Week's Challenge: Espionage

Jill:

okay, i'm sorry. please forgive. i have to break the rules a little bit this week. my espionage resulted in very little that was interesting. just some stupid wrestlers at sfu talking about how they gained 35 pounds over the summer. so, i'm going to relay an even that i happened upon, which wasn't really eavesdropping so much as coming into something a little too late.

codi and i were riding our bikes to the dairy queen on main street to meet some friends, and we had just passed sophia on 13th when we heard, "OH MY GOD! HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT. AND I SAW HIS UNDERWEAR (giggle) I SAW CHRIS IN HIS UNDERWEAR!" so sure enough, we bike by and see our friend chris behind the dumpster in the dairy queen parking lot, pants laying on the ground (ew) with his foot in a pair of hot pink skinny jeans. and he looked high off his kite (turns out he's just going through a major existential crisis like marky mark in i <3>... he's young...). if these had been people i didn't know, it would have been about 100 times funnier, but really, i wasn't all that surprised. we did, however spend our dairy queen time sitting outside with chris wearing hot pink jeans, hot pink chucks, a red tshirt and lindsay's red cardigan which was about 3 times too small. and eating a cotton candy blizzard. right on.


PK:

"I feel like I'm studying to become a fucking priest!"
(This was an overheard conversation between Kevin and Dana)


Gerry:

"You know what... I never liked Tequila in Canada, but when I went to Mexico I loved Tequila. And the strangest thing, now that In Canada again.... I don't like Tequila anymore! Isn't that weird?" - Quote from girl in line at Vancouver Space Centre. To get the full effect of this beauty you have to read it 10x faster than normal with a pitch that rivals a dolphin's. I think it made my ears bleed.


Ellisa:

The only conversation that I recently overhead that caused me ears to perk is not challenge-esque. (It was a man recounting a story of how his daughter's boyfriend recently broke his spine and may be a quadriplegic.)

So I am instead, I will recount my seeings while walking to the Skytrain yesterday to pick Dana up.

1. Old skinny man wearing Birkenstocks, blue Speedo, coke-bottle glass and safari hat selling books titled "Wreck Beach"
2. Man dressed as Johnny Depp (aka pirate) minus the fun beads in the dreadlocks, sword, smell and disgustingly handsome face.
3. Old woman dressed in hot pink: hot pink trench coat, hot pink 80's high heels, hot pink umbrella, hot pink sun hat, hot pink lipstick (most likely on teeth as well), and a hot pink 80s vest with large fake gold buttons.
4. Portly woman with gelled hair (tight pony tail and cement curls), spray-on jeans, large white puffy jacket (zipped up even though it was warm enough for shorts yesterday), I am guessing fake nails, and the pinnacle of the outfit, which is what caught my wandering eye in the first place, her strawberry milkshake (or weak Pepto Bismo) colored lips prominently outlined with a thick chocolate (or poo) brown line. Nice. When did the early gangsta 90's come back?

**Note: E- I tried so hard to find a pictorial representation of the Pepto coloured lips with poo brown liner but was unsuccessful.


Dana:

The 20.

Every day the 20 brings new horrors to my life, and Thursday afternoon was specifically traumatic. I sat down in the front of the very packed bus after work, in the seats facing me were two construction workers, they were talking about the upcoming Canucks season, and were trying to pull me into their conversation.

One of the men decided to tell me about how he screwed up his finger when he was interrupted by a small Asian woman who told him that he should get up and give an another older Asian woman his seat. He proceeded to tell the woman to “FUCK OFF” and questioned her as to why she only chastised him when nobody else had offered either. The woman was taken aback, as was I, she stammered that he should know better, the older Asian woman was also embarrassed by the display and assured the younger lady that she didn’t need a seat.

Mouth agape, my neck craned upward, I, by this point, was horribly mortified by the man’s behaviour and concerned that those around me would assume I was associated with these guys who had acted like such buffoons. I took my ipod and book out of my bag and retreated to the safety of antisocial anonymity.


Ben:

This is the senario:

This girl is talking with her chick friend while holding both a copy of that days Metro and one of 24 (as if those two actually have any information in them that differs). Her friend says "wow, you read sure read alot of papers.." and the girl responds "Yeah, well you know I think it is important to stay informed, I read both of these everyday."

Now I am not going to go into how incorrect this statement is, but out of curiosity I take a glance at what exactly this chick is reading about in these two astounding pieces of literature, and she has both of them open to the section on the endevours of people in hollywood. Unbelieveable.

Top 5 Back to School Songs

Jill’s List:

5. "to sir with love" - originally preformed by lulu, in the film "to sir with love" starring sidney poitier.

It's kind of like dangerous minds, but it takes place in london... in the 60s. the tagline for the movie was "a story as fresh as the girls in their minis. . .and as tough as the kids from london's east end!" anyways, lulu sings it on their last day of school. i prefer al green's version, though.

4. "cedar point '76" - the dirtbombs.

i think this song is actually about a dude macking on a chick playing pinball in an arcade. i include it though, because the title sounds like a grad class, and the arcade reference reminds me of ferris beuller's day off, when rooney thinks he sees ferris in the arcade, but it's actually a girl and she spits her coke all over his face. something tells me that because the guy who played rooney was busted for kiddie porn a few years ago, he probably didn't mind getting sprayed by a young girl.

3. "slow ride" - foghat. best song from the best movie ever made about school. ever. dazed and confused.

2. " sukie in the graveyard" - belle and sebastian.

because of this whole stanza:

Sukie was a kid, she liked to hang out at the art school

She didn't enrol, but she wiped the floor with all the arseholes

She took a bijou flat with the fraternity cat

She hid inside the attic of the sculpture building

She had a slut slave and his name was Dave

She said 'Be my photo bitch and I'll make you rich'

He didn't believe her but the boy revered her

He got her meals and he got her a bed

He watched behind the screen and she started to undress

He never got far

Just lookin' and playing guitar

~

1. and my number one all time desert island song about school is: "making time" - the creation.

this is the song playing in rushmore when we get the rundown on all of max's extracurricular activities.

there, i'm done. sorry, that's long. i really don't want to do my readings.

Ellisa’s List:

1. "Back to school. -Billy Madison

Back to school, Back to school,

To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight.

Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school.Back to school.

Well, here goes nothing.

.

2. Breakfast Club Theme. Perfect 80s. Enough said.

Wikipedia fact: "In addition, its theme song titled " Don't You (Forget About Me)", performed by Simple Minds, reached #1 in the U.S. billboards in 1985 and has since then become a symbol of teen films, teen love and teen feelings."

.
3. I Won't Back Down ~ Tom Petty

This song was the theme to my Valedictorian video address. Completely and utterly precious to me. Unlike some, high school was a phenomenal time in my life. I love every minute of it. Being valedictorian was such an honour. The prestige and glamour still makes my stomach turn when I think about it.

.

4. Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

This song will forever remind me of my grade 9 dance. At this time, Jayce, Tina and I all had a crush on the same guy, Ryan G------. He was tall, silent and incredibly sexy (to 15 year olds). This song had just come out, and the controversy surrounding what was being said in the song was surging. Ryan and I danced together to this song. Ahh, heart melting. He ended up dating Jayce and being a strange boyfriend. Tina and I: "Thank GOD we didn't go out with him. Yea Jayce; taking one for the team."

.
Side note: Ryan still lives in Kelowna. I saw him this summer when I went home and his biggest news of the summer was his 5 year anniversary at Rona (the home improvement store). I think he is a department manager (or maybe just an assistant department manager). Regardless, he is a REAL winner! "I'm blue and I'm in need of a guy,""I'm blue, if I were green, I would die""I'm blue, I will bleed I will die""I'm blue I need a man in my life""I'm blue, n' I believe I will die"

.

5. Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer Oh yea, you know it, She's All That. The movie that made every teenage girl swoon over Fred Prince Jr. and believe once again in Cinderella stories. I was always waiting for the day... Here is a nice montage video that someone made and then posted on YouTube. Description: "A video I made about Laney and Zack from the movie "She's all that"." How sweet; a Laney and Zack fan. Awww...(barf in mouth)

Prokopie’s List:

.

5. Principal's Office - Young MC
4. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
3. Teachers - Daft Punk
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Part II - Pink Floyd
1. Eric Prydz - Call On Me
I don't know if this is bending the rules or not... the video is about school: dance school. May be the best music video ever made.

So I went to check out the supposed "best music video ever made" and it is restricted, PK! -You PERV!!

Ben’s List:

1. Money- Pink Floyd
2. Smells like teen spirit- Nirvana
3. No Sleep- Sam Roberts
4. Where is my mind- The Pixies
5. Wahoo, alright, yeah, uh huh- The Rapture

Dana’s List:

5.Tequila –Grade 8 band – I played the trumpet (poorly I might add)

4.Tuesdays Gone – Lynyrd Skynyrd – I first fell in love with this song in one of my all time favourite movies Dazed and Confused, which just happens to take place on the last day of school. To me the song has always had an air of dénouement- wrapping up of things and closure. I read that Tuesday is the name of a girl who ran off -an unrequited love - this furthers my resolve to have an impassioned and short lived romance with a musician. My favourite line is "Train roll on, on down the line"

3. It's like that - Run DMC – I had a boyfriend that was obsessed with this song plus it was a staple at school dances.

2. Crazy – Aerosmith – One of my all time favourite music videos. I am not sure how old I was but I thought that Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler were maybe the coolest girls ever, sneaking out of school, breaking boys’ hearts and running away to live wild and free.

.

1. Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack – Featuring: The Cardigans, Garbage, Everclear, and Radiohead, among others. I cannot pick a song off this album the entire thing was pivotal to my development. This encapsulates my high school years.

.

***Honorable mention: Everybody Wants Something - The Zit Remedy.... Oh Joey Jeremiah (sigh). I cant remember who I was talking to about this the other day but seriously they had a band for like 4 years and that was their only song.

Gerry's List:

1. “Teenage Dirtbag” – Wheatus -Because I was one

.

2. “Another Brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd -Now that I have officially started my PhD… I’m starting to think that we actually do need education.
.

3. “Low Rider” – War - Picture this… me on the first day of school pulling up in my 1985 Camero blasting this song out of a not so hot sound system.

.
4. “TLC” – Pretty - With the pressures of a new year… sometimes you just need to feel pretty

.

5. “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” – The Ramones (Soundtrack from the Original Motion Picture “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, circa 1979)

Ciscal and Ebert provide this brief synopsis…. A group of rock-music-loving students, with the help of the Ramones, take over their school to combat its newly installed oppressive administration. And people were shocked to hear that it didn’t win best picture.

Brad's List: The songs that will always remind me of school:

1. Hot Cross Buns - This is the first (and the last) song I was ever taught to play on the alto saxophone. I screwed it up so bad, that the teacher made me clean instruments for the rest of the year.

2. Magic School Bus Theme - This show was always the bane of my existence, my brother loved it, and somehow at 10 years old I was aware of the obvious attempt at racial unity (one asian, one mexican, one nerd, and so on). Plus that crazy teacher who took the kids into people's intestines, and flew them around in a shitty old bus....at my school she would have been required to take "mental leave".

3. Pip Pip Cheerio - As a member of the"chorus" for our 3rd grade production of the musical "Oliver", I will never forget rehearsing this song, and then how fantastic we sounded on performance night....I was so into it, I really thought I was a homeless 8 year old pickpocket being raised by a scary bearded hobo in a packrat community.

4. Wheels on the Bus - Can't leave this one out. I always associate this song with a shotgun aimed at whoever is singing it.

5. Hand In My Pocket - We thought we were so cool singing Alanis Morrisette on top of the monkey bars at lunch hour. We all blushed when the line about "Chicken shit" came.

The Hemingway Challenge

Earnest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in six words. Rumor has it that Hemingway regarded it as his greatest work:

For sale: baby shoes, never used.

Here are our 6 word stories, see if you can guess the author of each I will post the answers at a later date.

Participants: Bradley, Jenn, Ellisa, Gerry, Prokopipants, our very own Ange Feehan and myself X2.



Single white female. 46. Seeking intimacy.


Mouths agape, their necks craned upward.


He came, she stared. Stoic. Again.


I wish this challenge didn't suck.


She dumped him. He stalked her.


Errant smile, sly retort, tussled sheets.


Lost in hurricane: spectacles, kitten, toupee.


My dress! My shoes! ...My Son?

Celebrity Look-A-Like

This Week's Challenge: Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Submit a pic of yourself or someone else as they resemble a celebrity:

Gerr-man

Prokopipants:

Dana:

Ellisa:

Bradley:

Ellisa's procrastination that was the inspiration for This Week's Challenge:

Benji: