This Week's Challenge: FONTS!

In one minute, without cheating, write down as many different Fonts as you can think of.

Gerry = 8
Ben = 10
Tam = 4
Ellisa = 17
Dana = 14

This Week's Challenge: Slogans for Gold Bond

Existing Slogans applied to:
Gold Bond Medicated Powder

Ben’s List:

1. Gets odours out. (Oust air spray)

2. Just do it. (Nike)

3. Is it in you? (Gatorade)

4. For all you do, this buds for you. (Budweiser)

5. Tastes awful. But it works. (I’m sure Gold Bond would taste bad-Buckley's)

Dana’s List

5. Made from the best stuff on earth (Snapple)
4. Don’t leave home without it (American Express)
3. The best part of waking up (Foldgers)
2. Kills Bugs Dead (Raid)
1. Think outside the bun--ions (Taco Bell)

Gerry’s List

1. When the itch's a bitch... use Gold Bond Medicated Powder.
2. Gold Bond... not recommended for people under 65.
3. Gold Bond... you don't know what’s in it... and neither do we!
4. If you’re feeling wet and cold... keep out the mould... use Gold Bond Medicated Powder! - (I'm making the assumption here that the product in question is actually used for overly moist areas... all I know is that a lot of old people generally have crevices that require Gold Bond treatment... working in a hospital unfortunately teaches you these things)
5. Gold Bond.... it feels good on your balls.

Tamara’s List

5. It's so easy to use no wonder it's number one (AOL) 4. Because I'm worth it (L'Oreal) 3. Touching is good. (Nintendo DS) 2. Let your fingers do the walking (Yellow Pages) 1. The freshmaker! (Mentos)

Tracey’s List

1) Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Gold Bond.
2) Shouldn't your baby be a Gold Bond baby?
3) Gold Bond: Over 3 Billion Served.
4) Gold Bond: That was Easy!
5) Silly Rabbit, Gold Bond is for kids!

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."


This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, delivered at Stanford University. Here is the link to the entire speach. Enjoy.

This Week's Challenge: What is this man thinking?

This Week's Challenge:

What is this man thinking?

"Damn this iches... must have been that hitch-hiker I picked up the other day. Last time I do anyone else a favor."-

in Quagmire voice

(Benji)

“Ya'll know me still the same ol' G- But I been low key, Hated on by most these niggas Wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys, No boats, no snowmobiles and no ski's” (Dana)

"If you only knew what was going on underneath my petticoat" (B-Rad)

.

"Once again, nobody told me that it was picture day today.... what a bunch of commi bastards!" (Gerry)

.

Okay so, while sitting here, waiting for my portrait...run through tomorrow's speech one more time..."This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Listen to their souls, men. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men." Using the stand-by good versus evil and historical consequences of the racial segregation horrors to symbolize our plight is genius, PURE GENIUS!

(Big E)

Top 5 Euphemisms for Sex at the Stampede

Top 5 Euphemisms for Sex overheard at the Calgary Stampede

Ellisa -In no particular order...

5. I was riding her so hard last night that she got some real saddle burn between those milky inner thighs.
4. I roped those calves up so tight I could toss her anyway I wanted.
3. I rode him like all stallions need to be; hard, stern and unrelenting. I broke him in!
2. I was bucked off a real bull last night. He tossed me around like I was a rag doll
1. That pony did not know what hit her last night. I Brokeback Mounted her from dusk 'til dawn.

Gerry:

5. Go Brokeback (in ref. to gay sex only)
4. Eat the meat (AAA Alberta beef)
3. Rock the ranch
2. Drill for oil
1. Ride my Pony

Dana:

5. The horizontal two-step
4. I wouldn’t mind a little cowpoke
3. Once I got her out of ‘them Wranglers it was Fergalishous – proving the universality of this term
2. Beef: It’s what’s for dinner!
1. I Dwight Yokeled her

Kevin:

5. slap my reins and tie me with a lasso, Im your wild thing tonight!
4. you want to pet my steed?
3. You want to disappear to our own rodeo?
2. Don't pull my reins unless you're on my saddle.
1. Buck me like a bronco!

The new royalty has arrived

It starts. We are sitting on the edge of a media torrent that will parallel this spring’s Anna Nicole Smith debacle and we don’t even realise it. With Brad Pitt’s split from the almost perfect Jennifer Aniston and hook up with Do Gooder (therefore boring) Angelina Jolie, the throne of king and Queen of Hollywood has been abdicated. Luckily, the British X-popstar and handsome footballer have Touched down in LA to fill the bronzed god/anorexic and talentless celebrity void (this story was featured in the sports section on CBC this morning).

So be prepared for the onslaught of paparazzi stalking and aggravatingly banal coverage of their day to day lives, in all shitty dailies, and heinous entertainment programs. Don’t do it Rick the Temp, you used to be cool- am dating myself by alluding to the fact that I was around when Rick was just a temp at Much Music, before he got too old and had to take his black painted fingernails to Extra Canadian addition? (Shudder) Sidebar- I don’t have cable but with the assistance of bunny ears can receive 4 channels, I don’t understand how one of those terrible shows is always on, who is watching this crap? I can think of 1 million things I would rather do, including: testing all the shampoo in my shower to see which ones are actually tear free.

Anyways, back to Victoria Beckham or should I call her Posh Spice.... Duhh Dun Dhunnnn.... that's right my friends, most of us knew her as the “fashionable” aka least talented Spice Girl... Does anyone else find irony in the fact that she was supposed to be “posh” in a pop group that was manufactured; where, I am fairly certain, she didn’t get to make her own fashion choices? What really surprises me however, is that she has really stuck with it- if I was a not so integral part of a cultural phenomenon that had run its course, I would put as much distance between myself and that persona as possible; however, Posh took it the opposite direction and kicked it up about 8 notches. There is nothing that makes me more agitated than our society worshiping a celebrity that has absolutely no valid claim to fame (Paris Hilton). At least David Beckham has a skill -what is Victoria’s: sitting still for hair and makeup?

Am I the only one surprised at their move to LA? I would like to know the strategy behind this manoeuvre. I always thought that Britain had an elitist culture industry, isn’t Hollywood a step down?

Possible reasons for moving: Money? I can’t see it being that I’m sure they already swim in a pool of gold coins like Uncle Scrooge. Soccer? Why would you move from Europe where fans form gangs they are so obsessive to a country where nobody cares about your sport? So, by process of elimination the only other answer is: Prestige- if you can call having the minute details of your life snooped at by a population that believes CSI to be credible and UFC to be a sport. David and Victoria want to be the world’s hottest couple and they just can’t get there while trapped on that little island. Ouch England: do you realise how big a slight that is? I guess the sun does set on the English Empire after all.

So, I wonder how long until I barf a little in my own mouth as a result of the excessive media coverage- a few weeks, a month? I guess it isn’t all bad, I am sure we will all welcome the break from Lindsay Lohan’s party girl debauchery and Paris Hilton’s fatuous behaviour and vapid demeanour.

T-Shirts make me Happy

So yesterday I was reunited with my all time favourite T-shirt: the Matt Costa. I experienced a rush of euphoria as I held it up to myself and a flood of warm memories washed over me. In my elation I shouted down the hall at Ellisa, “Isn’t it so beautiful?” to which she replied, “It’s just a t-shirt”.

What is it about a good t-shirt?

I realised that I belong to a very small sect of society; some people love their lulu lemon, some love their hoodies, I love my t-shirts. And I am not alone; I know there are certain ones of you out there that can identify with me. I have run into such lovers over the years but this bond we share seems to be unspoken.

One such person is my childhood friend, Chris Boultbee - if you ever get the chance to meet this elusive character consider yourself to be among the privileged few. Boultbee is one of those people that enters your life and is truly an experience to meet even if it’s only a fleeting visit. Last summer, the Delta House was blessed by the Boultbee charm as he shocked Tracey’s Grandparents when he turned up on our deck (hair a mop of blond jejune curls and missing a tooth).

I remember us all hanging out as we would, for long hours on the deck, beyond the last burst of red as the sun sunk below the skyline. I remember the laughter, the stories, the cocktails, the Rolling Stones, mostly the times between friends. I also remember Boultbee, who has no permanent address, who likes wrestling with dogs and named his cat Trogdor, saying toTracey with 100% sincerity, “I like your t-shirt”. I never knew that Boultbee noticed things like fashion on girls and I still don’t think he does, rather I think that he can enjoy the simplicity of a good t-shirt. And it is a good one - her canary yellow Diet 7up t-shirt that she spent way too much on but has paid itself of exponentially- a true t-shirt lover knows it is always worth it.

My second story involves my friend Brett. I am unable to describe Brett in a few sentences so those that know him know his practicality and anal retentiveness in almost all areas of life. The t-shirt category is no different except that Brett refuses to wear t-shirts from stores. It must have been after grade twelve when Bretty graduated from the waffle shirt to the t-shirt, and we were all glad to see some sort of print on his muscular (haha) frame. The great aspect to his t-shirts is that they are usually found or stolen. When I think of Brett I can only picture him in one of 3 shirts, the Hog Farmer shirt which I think he stole from someone, the Lions Head shirt that he got from his local pub and his newest and heaviest in rotation: the Beaverdell shirt, which he traded the t-shirt of his back (belonging to our friend Cam) to a vagabond who likely hadn’t washed in weeks, mid bar. This is classic behaviour of a t-shirt lover, trading your friends t-shirt off your back for a good one that likely has its own ecosystem living in it.

I got to thinking about fashion and clothing and appearances and all that that entails. I thought about how when I see someone with a good t-shirt like: Wax on Wax off or Science Rules! it puts a smile on my face. I realised that to some it doesn’t matter what you display on your chest, but to others, your careful selection can mean an instant camaraderie (Example: the Unsolved Mysteries t-shirt from a few weeks ago and anyone wearing a CBC t-shirt). I used to have this little boy’s t-shirt that announced, “Free Hugs” it had a bear on it with outstretched arms, then I grew boobs and could no longer wear it, yet I still think about it and how it always got a reaction. First impressions matter, and the messages you wear do make an impact.

Oh the power of a clever tee!

So, to all of you that have never given it a thought, every time you put on an American Eagle shirt that boasts: "Costa Rica" remember that what you are wearing is delivering a message. Do you really want someone to ask you about your trip to Costa Rica and have to respond that you actually picked it up at the mall? Did Roxy or Quicksilver ever pay you to advertise for them? Don’t let them ride your coattails of coolness. Often the best t-shirts are found when scouring the dense underbrush of thrift stores. These gems were originally worn in a different capacity and take on new meaning a decade or so later... plus everything is exponentially cooler when it costs a dollar-that’s a fact, don’t argue it’s science.

Our society is superficial and we will always be judged, I implore you not to be defined by what you wear but rather define yourself in your own terms and dress accordingly. So, be clever, be original and have a goal of making someone smile.

Here is a site for the T-shirt lover. Threadless