A Junktastic Ideology - Part 2

For most of us a “junktastic ideology” and a “product drunk culture” is not new and startling information. We all know our society is escalating out of control, sometimes it feels like preaching to the converted. But how converted are we? I know that I am guilty. I can still fall madly in love with a dress or a pair of shoes - inanimate things that should not have such power over me. I struggle to find ways to manage the clutter rather than downsizing it. I am selective in my efforts. What values am I espousing?

I turn my nose up at those that spend exorbitant amounts on labels for the enhancement of their cultural capital. No matter if your clothes are purchased at Holt or at Value Village we are all cultivating some sort of image when we dress in the mornings, no matter if you understand it or not what you put on speaks about your person. Just like the books you select to read, the films you chose to watch and the events you attend all weave together to form the image you wish to project.

It doesn’t matter if the things you chose to consume are highbrow or lowbrow you are still consuming- and that is what gets me.

Lately I find myself struggling with authenticity. I walk down the enlivened Commercial Drive which I have come to love for its chaotic communal atmosphere. I see a vibrant counter culture that celebrates an alternative and retro revival. I am not confident however that the mainstream fashion rejection is rooted in a vehement refusal of mainstream norms but rather that it is just another way to consume. The problem for me lies in the fact that the progressive lifestyle ideas are imbued with this fashion choice when in actuality the price tag on a vintage dress can be the equivalent of a new one. Somehow the alternative style has become intertwined with socially conscious humans and I think that this is a hugely flawed generalization. You would be hard pressed to find someone who will tell you that they buy vintage clothes because they are against the creation of more needless items – hence why Mintage sells both vintage and designer duds.

Am I the only one that finds it ironic that my street is called Commercial Drive? Just wondering?

The “Drive” is just a counter culture - a pretty good one at that, and hey we all must exist somewhere... but my problem is that we express ourselves by trashing mainstream culture; I know many of us are educated or in the process of becoming educated, socially aware, well-read and for the most part- financially overextended. What bothers me is the elitist views we take as though we have it all figured out and can chastise the rest of the world for their lifestyle choices. And yes, I know that I am the ringleader of the “I hate consumerism and mass culture Club”, so maybe this sour tang I find in my mouth is a result of my own inability to reconcile my beliefs and dislikes about our world knowing that it is not my place to judge.

Maybe I am just a hopeless hypocrite.

What I have always felt about consumerism is somewhat Orwellian, in that the Proles were distracted by the lottery, I feel like the masses are being duped by the needless pursuit of finery. I feel like instead of tackling the major problems in our world we are content to be distracted by material things and all I can say is thankfully we were born here because the other end of the spectrum is not faced with questions like dark or light denim but by much more meaningful and urgent things, like survival. Do we allow the system to continue because we are all waiting for our opportunity to ascend to the upper echelons -where we can exist in opulence or is it because we believe with the purchasing of one more hat or coat or plasma screen TV we will achieve contentment? When and how did we come to connect the pursuit of happiness with the pursuit of objects?

I guess within my own community I don’t like to see people falling into the same traps that they use on the masses, I guess I just expect more from us. I guess I had assumed that us auspicious ones would take our positive circumstances and use them for the betterment of human kind rather than celebrating our own good fortune. I guess I was naive- and now, I’m just disheartened.

So...Havana’s anyone? Pitcher of sangria on the patio- we can criticise what everyone else is wearing. I will be the girl toting a classic and pivotal piece of literature, a bag displaying the buttons from the bands and social movements I currently support, in a dress I bought up the road. I will laugh and joke with my friends and complain about all the things that are wrong with the world -but don’t worry I won’t mention my own inaction, I won’t face my own demons.... they are so last season.

TWC: Birthday Stories

Pia’s Birthday:

My Best Birthday EVER: Most certainly.... Plaid and Poka dot! you guys all know the story and I've never been so SURPRISED in my life.
From the best friends ever ;-)








Jenn’s Birthday Woe:

One day, a girl arrives in France, following 24 hours of no sleep. Foreign country, no friends....its a bad set up. Oh, and it rained. AND she realized that on sundays nothing is open. not that it would have mattered because she has no friends to hang with. so, what does she decide? she goes to the local boulangerie, gets herself a cake, and a small bottle of wine. then she eats and drinks. sure, she starts to feel better...so she goes to the cinéma and watches little miss sunshine, in french, twice.

One redeeming event of this birthday- the new unknown english friends in france decide to take me out to dinner, to a weird café full of creepers where we ate warmed up pizza. quite gross.

that, my dears, is the saddest birthday ever.

the best birthday was a surprise one from Dana. but you didn't ask for two stories, so you only get one.


Dana’s Birthday Story:

My story dates back to about 1992 or 1993, it was Lauren Norman’s birthday party. The rad thing about Lauren’s parties was that her Dad baked money into the cake (wrapped in wax paper of course). This was very exciting for an 8 year old, if you never experienced it I’m so sorry.

Anyways, at that age kids have boundless energy and need to be distracted (plus we had been sugared-up with money infused cake). Lauren’s parents- being wise- had many games lined up for us; however, there is only one that I specifically remember: Memory. We were presented with a large tray full of “things”, given a time limit, and were told to try to memorize as many as we could. It was then taken away and we had to jot down as many answers as we could.

A fellow party guest and friend, Meghan Dunn, decided that rules were not her style.
While the rest of us were furiously scribbling down answers she told us she was going to the bathroom, instead, she snuck into the kitchen, peeked under the dish towel, and ran back and added to her list. My memory is faded but I believe she tried this brash manoeuvre several times and on the last assault was caught by Lauren's Mom, who scolded young Megan for cheating and disqualified her from the game.

Megan Dunn’s course in life was set; she went on to become a notorious cheater in the realm of games; both the board variety as well as the more physical. I can personally attest to the validity of this statement as I know for a fact that she cheated in Laundry room Hide-and-Go-Seek by peeking in a crack in the wall as well as tricking the opposing team into blurting out the answer in Cranium by telling them their time was up (then fighting vehemently that it was within the heckling parameters established at the games commencement).

I have every confidence that Meghan Dunn's cheating continues today, and I am hanging onto a childish hope that Lauren and Julia still find quarters and loonies in their birthday cakes.


Ellisa’s Birthday Facts:

My birthday fall on the 20th of April. This day has, throughout my life, brought about many interesting quelms, revelations and conversations. And upon researching this challenge, a few more. So here's what's rad about 4/20

570 - Birth of Prophet Muhammed, founder of Islam (d. 632) (date disputed)
1534 - Jacques Cartier begins his voyage, in which he will discover Canada and Labrador.
1808 - Birth of Napoleon III, Emperor of the French (d. 1873) First of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1889 - Birth of Adolf Hitler, leader of Nazi Germany (d. 1945) Second of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1961 - The Bay of Pigs Invasion of US troops against Cuba.
1968 - Jean-Luc Bombardier, the nephew of snowmobile inventor Joseph Armand Bombardier, is the first Canadian to reach the North Pole.
1968 - Pierre Elliott Trudeau was sworn in as prime minister of Canada.
1972 - Birth of Carmen Electra, American actress. Former wife of my secret lover Dave Navarro
1976 - Birth of Joey Lawrence, American actor. This one is for Ben: "WHOA!"
1999 - The Columbine High School massacre leaves 15 people (including the two gunmen) dead and 24 wounded in Jefferson County, Colorado.

Last, but certianly not least, Salute to Marijuana!

Four-twenty - Although many diverse theories exist to explain the origin of the term, it is widely accepted that in 1971, a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California used to meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke cannabis at the Louis Pasteur statue. The term became part of their group's salute, "420 Louis!", and became popularized in the late 1980s by fans of The Grateful Dead.

All in all April 20th shapes up to be a decent day. Whether you worship Islam, Canada, Neo-Nazism, marijuana or (by extension) Dave Navarro, 4/20's your day!


Gerry's Birthday Disaster!

This story - although now very comical - vividly details how tragic a birthday party can be. It all begins at my neighbours house for the celebration of his, lets say, 7th birthday. As far as birthday parties go, this one was a HIT! The turn-out was great, probably around 20 kids and the house was tastefully decorated with balloons, noise makers, and most importantly an enormous birthday cake in the shape of a ninja turtle. Traditionally, the birthday cake, adorned with candles, is presented to the birthday boy or girl followed by a clumsy, off key rendition of happy birthday. However, this party followed a more 'unconventional' plan. The beginning ran rather smoothly. The ninja turtle cake - I believe it was Raphael - was lit up by 8 candles (1 for good luck) and placed on the table. At this point the singing of happy birthday was fully underway but at the part around "happy birthday dear...." the song was interrupted with one of the children yelling FIRE!!

So it turns out that as the cake was being carried up the stairs from the basement where it was lit, one of those tacky 80's door curtains brushed on one of the candles and caught on fire. As with most 80's fabric, this curtain was made out of some synthetic material that quickly burst into flames. Once the rest of the children noticed the flames and the smoke, all hell broke loose. The mother immediately dialled 911 and began to round up the screaming children for evacuation while the father attempted to put out the fire himself. Long story short, the dad was taken to the hospital - and later treated for 2nd degree burns - the fire was put out and the children returned to their respective families. It was truly a celebration that I will never forget.

This Week's Challenge: Espionage

Jill:

okay, i'm sorry. please forgive. i have to break the rules a little bit this week. my espionage resulted in very little that was interesting. just some stupid wrestlers at sfu talking about how they gained 35 pounds over the summer. so, i'm going to relay an even that i happened upon, which wasn't really eavesdropping so much as coming into something a little too late.

codi and i were riding our bikes to the dairy queen on main street to meet some friends, and we had just passed sophia on 13th when we heard, "OH MY GOD! HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT. AND I SAW HIS UNDERWEAR (giggle) I SAW CHRIS IN HIS UNDERWEAR!" so sure enough, we bike by and see our friend chris behind the dumpster in the dairy queen parking lot, pants laying on the ground (ew) with his foot in a pair of hot pink skinny jeans. and he looked high off his kite (turns out he's just going through a major existential crisis like marky mark in i <3>... he's young...). if these had been people i didn't know, it would have been about 100 times funnier, but really, i wasn't all that surprised. we did, however spend our dairy queen time sitting outside with chris wearing hot pink jeans, hot pink chucks, a red tshirt and lindsay's red cardigan which was about 3 times too small. and eating a cotton candy blizzard. right on.


PK:

"I feel like I'm studying to become a fucking priest!"
(This was an overheard conversation between Kevin and Dana)


Gerry:

"You know what... I never liked Tequila in Canada, but when I went to Mexico I loved Tequila. And the strangest thing, now that In Canada again.... I don't like Tequila anymore! Isn't that weird?" - Quote from girl in line at Vancouver Space Centre. To get the full effect of this beauty you have to read it 10x faster than normal with a pitch that rivals a dolphin's. I think it made my ears bleed.


Ellisa:

The only conversation that I recently overhead that caused me ears to perk is not challenge-esque. (It was a man recounting a story of how his daughter's boyfriend recently broke his spine and may be a quadriplegic.)

So I am instead, I will recount my seeings while walking to the Skytrain yesterday to pick Dana up.

1. Old skinny man wearing Birkenstocks, blue Speedo, coke-bottle glass and safari hat selling books titled "Wreck Beach"
2. Man dressed as Johnny Depp (aka pirate) minus the fun beads in the dreadlocks, sword, smell and disgustingly handsome face.
3. Old woman dressed in hot pink: hot pink trench coat, hot pink 80's high heels, hot pink umbrella, hot pink sun hat, hot pink lipstick (most likely on teeth as well), and a hot pink 80s vest with large fake gold buttons.
4. Portly woman with gelled hair (tight pony tail and cement curls), spray-on jeans, large white puffy jacket (zipped up even though it was warm enough for shorts yesterday), I am guessing fake nails, and the pinnacle of the outfit, which is what caught my wandering eye in the first place, her strawberry milkshake (or weak Pepto Bismo) colored lips prominently outlined with a thick chocolate (or poo) brown line. Nice. When did the early gangsta 90's come back?

**Note: E- I tried so hard to find a pictorial representation of the Pepto coloured lips with poo brown liner but was unsuccessful.


Dana:

The 20.

Every day the 20 brings new horrors to my life, and Thursday afternoon was specifically traumatic. I sat down in the front of the very packed bus after work, in the seats facing me were two construction workers, they were talking about the upcoming Canucks season, and were trying to pull me into their conversation.

One of the men decided to tell me about how he screwed up his finger when he was interrupted by a small Asian woman who told him that he should get up and give an another older Asian woman his seat. He proceeded to tell the woman to “FUCK OFF” and questioned her as to why she only chastised him when nobody else had offered either. The woman was taken aback, as was I, she stammered that he should know better, the older Asian woman was also embarrassed by the display and assured the younger lady that she didn’t need a seat.

Mouth agape, my neck craned upward, I, by this point, was horribly mortified by the man’s behaviour and concerned that those around me would assume I was associated with these guys who had acted like such buffoons. I took my ipod and book out of my bag and retreated to the safety of antisocial anonymity.


Ben:

This is the senario:

This girl is talking with her chick friend while holding both a copy of that days Metro and one of 24 (as if those two actually have any information in them that differs). Her friend says "wow, you read sure read alot of papers.." and the girl responds "Yeah, well you know I think it is important to stay informed, I read both of these everyday."

Now I am not going to go into how incorrect this statement is, but out of curiosity I take a glance at what exactly this chick is reading about in these two astounding pieces of literature, and she has both of them open to the section on the endevours of people in hollywood. Unbelieveable.

Top 5 Back to School Songs

Jill’s List:

5. "to sir with love" - originally preformed by lulu, in the film "to sir with love" starring sidney poitier.

It's kind of like dangerous minds, but it takes place in london... in the 60s. the tagline for the movie was "a story as fresh as the girls in their minis. . .and as tough as the kids from london's east end!" anyways, lulu sings it on their last day of school. i prefer al green's version, though.

4. "cedar point '76" - the dirtbombs.

i think this song is actually about a dude macking on a chick playing pinball in an arcade. i include it though, because the title sounds like a grad class, and the arcade reference reminds me of ferris beuller's day off, when rooney thinks he sees ferris in the arcade, but it's actually a girl and she spits her coke all over his face. something tells me that because the guy who played rooney was busted for kiddie porn a few years ago, he probably didn't mind getting sprayed by a young girl.

3. "slow ride" - foghat. best song from the best movie ever made about school. ever. dazed and confused.

2. " sukie in the graveyard" - belle and sebastian.

because of this whole stanza:

Sukie was a kid, she liked to hang out at the art school

She didn't enrol, but she wiped the floor with all the arseholes

She took a bijou flat with the fraternity cat

She hid inside the attic of the sculpture building

She had a slut slave and his name was Dave

She said 'Be my photo bitch and I'll make you rich'

He didn't believe her but the boy revered her

He got her meals and he got her a bed

He watched behind the screen and she started to undress

He never got far

Just lookin' and playing guitar

~

1. and my number one all time desert island song about school is: "making time" - the creation.

this is the song playing in rushmore when we get the rundown on all of max's extracurricular activities.

there, i'm done. sorry, that's long. i really don't want to do my readings.

Ellisa’s List:

1. "Back to school. -Billy Madison

Back to school, Back to school,

To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight.

Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school.Back to school.

Well, here goes nothing.

.

2. Breakfast Club Theme. Perfect 80s. Enough said.

Wikipedia fact: "In addition, its theme song titled " Don't You (Forget About Me)", performed by Simple Minds, reached #1 in the U.S. billboards in 1985 and has since then become a symbol of teen films, teen love and teen feelings."

.
3. I Won't Back Down ~ Tom Petty

This song was the theme to my Valedictorian video address. Completely and utterly precious to me. Unlike some, high school was a phenomenal time in my life. I love every minute of it. Being valedictorian was such an honour. The prestige and glamour still makes my stomach turn when I think about it.

.

4. Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

This song will forever remind me of my grade 9 dance. At this time, Jayce, Tina and I all had a crush on the same guy, Ryan G------. He was tall, silent and incredibly sexy (to 15 year olds). This song had just come out, and the controversy surrounding what was being said in the song was surging. Ryan and I danced together to this song. Ahh, heart melting. He ended up dating Jayce and being a strange boyfriend. Tina and I: "Thank GOD we didn't go out with him. Yea Jayce; taking one for the team."

.
Side note: Ryan still lives in Kelowna. I saw him this summer when I went home and his biggest news of the summer was his 5 year anniversary at Rona (the home improvement store). I think he is a department manager (or maybe just an assistant department manager). Regardless, he is a REAL winner! "I'm blue and I'm in need of a guy,""I'm blue, if I were green, I would die""I'm blue, I will bleed I will die""I'm blue I need a man in my life""I'm blue, n' I believe I will die"

.

5. Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer Oh yea, you know it, She's All That. The movie that made every teenage girl swoon over Fred Prince Jr. and believe once again in Cinderella stories. I was always waiting for the day... Here is a nice montage video that someone made and then posted on YouTube. Description: "A video I made about Laney and Zack from the movie "She's all that"." How sweet; a Laney and Zack fan. Awww...(barf in mouth)

Prokopie’s List:

.

5. Principal's Office - Young MC
4. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
3. Teachers - Daft Punk
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Part II - Pink Floyd
1. Eric Prydz - Call On Me
I don't know if this is bending the rules or not... the video is about school: dance school. May be the best music video ever made.

So I went to check out the supposed "best music video ever made" and it is restricted, PK! -You PERV!!

Ben’s List:

1. Money- Pink Floyd
2. Smells like teen spirit- Nirvana
3. No Sleep- Sam Roberts
4. Where is my mind- The Pixies
5. Wahoo, alright, yeah, uh huh- The Rapture

Dana’s List:

5.Tequila –Grade 8 band – I played the trumpet (poorly I might add)

4.Tuesdays Gone – Lynyrd Skynyrd – I first fell in love with this song in one of my all time favourite movies Dazed and Confused, which just happens to take place on the last day of school. To me the song has always had an air of dénouement- wrapping up of things and closure. I read that Tuesday is the name of a girl who ran off -an unrequited love - this furthers my resolve to have an impassioned and short lived romance with a musician. My favourite line is "Train roll on, on down the line"

3. It's like that - Run DMC – I had a boyfriend that was obsessed with this song plus it was a staple at school dances.

2. Crazy – Aerosmith – One of my all time favourite music videos. I am not sure how old I was but I thought that Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler were maybe the coolest girls ever, sneaking out of school, breaking boys’ hearts and running away to live wild and free.

.

1. Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack – Featuring: The Cardigans, Garbage, Everclear, and Radiohead, among others. I cannot pick a song off this album the entire thing was pivotal to my development. This encapsulates my high school years.

.

***Honorable mention: Everybody Wants Something - The Zit Remedy.... Oh Joey Jeremiah (sigh). I cant remember who I was talking to about this the other day but seriously they had a band for like 4 years and that was their only song.

Gerry's List:

1. “Teenage Dirtbag” – Wheatus -Because I was one

.

2. “Another Brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd -Now that I have officially started my PhD… I’m starting to think that we actually do need education.
.

3. “Low Rider” – War - Picture this… me on the first day of school pulling up in my 1985 Camero blasting this song out of a not so hot sound system.

.
4. “TLC” – Pretty - With the pressures of a new year… sometimes you just need to feel pretty

.

5. “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” – The Ramones (Soundtrack from the Original Motion Picture “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, circa 1979)

Ciscal and Ebert provide this brief synopsis…. A group of rock-music-loving students, with the help of the Ramones, take over their school to combat its newly installed oppressive administration. And people were shocked to hear that it didn’t win best picture.

Brad's List: The songs that will always remind me of school:

1. Hot Cross Buns - This is the first (and the last) song I was ever taught to play on the alto saxophone. I screwed it up so bad, that the teacher made me clean instruments for the rest of the year.

2. Magic School Bus Theme - This show was always the bane of my existence, my brother loved it, and somehow at 10 years old I was aware of the obvious attempt at racial unity (one asian, one mexican, one nerd, and so on). Plus that crazy teacher who took the kids into people's intestines, and flew them around in a shitty old bus....at my school she would have been required to take "mental leave".

3. Pip Pip Cheerio - As a member of the"chorus" for our 3rd grade production of the musical "Oliver", I will never forget rehearsing this song, and then how fantastic we sounded on performance night....I was so into it, I really thought I was a homeless 8 year old pickpocket being raised by a scary bearded hobo in a packrat community.

4. Wheels on the Bus - Can't leave this one out. I always associate this song with a shotgun aimed at whoever is singing it.

5. Hand In My Pocket - We thought we were so cool singing Alanis Morrisette on top of the monkey bars at lunch hour. We all blushed when the line about "Chicken shit" came.

One of the many fantabulous things that resulted from Bumbershoot

~

A detailed recount by Bradley of the fun that was had at Bumbershoot