The Fraught Brow

TWC: Favourite Will Ferrell Quote

2007-12-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

Jenn:
MEATLOAF, FUCK

Cam:
"oh my god! that would be the greatest. sex with no women. that would be like the best of both worlds. and i like women, don't get me wrong. i just find them sexually... repulsive."

- the story of the world's first two gay men.

Benji:
This was hard to narrow it to one...

Here's the deal I'm the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and i piss excellence."

-As Ricky Bobby in Talledega nights

Ellisa:
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
I haven't actually watched the entirety of this movie, just parts. My dad and I may have peed our pants when watching this snipped with my brothers.

Ricky Bobby:
Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you,jesuz, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome stricking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.

Fun Fact: Will Ferrell was one of the writers of this film.

Warren:
Funerals are insane, the chicks are so horny... it's like fishing with dynamite ...

Danes:
"I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite"

po:
it's so good... once it hits your lips... it's so good
re: funnel beer in old school... mostly it's the look on his face.

Bradley:
It's so damn hot... Milk was a bad choice.

What is Stephen Harper Reading?

2007-11-27T09:57:00.000-08:00

This is an excert from one of the letters that Yan Martel wrote to Stephen Harper on his site:
What is Stephen Harper Reading

"So, self-knowledge—must I write?—is useful not only in writing but in living. And solitude bears fruit not only for the one who aspires to write poetry but for anyone who aspires to anything. Whereas, to take a counter-example, I thinks it’s rare that advice to do with commerce has much use beyond commerce. Our deepest way of examining life, of getting to our existential core, is through the artistic. At its best, such an examination has nearly a religious feel."

~Yann Martel

TWC: Post Secret

2007-11-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

I've cheated on my boyfriend before.

I love Sausage McMuffins and Britney Spears.

i was once forced to dance with scarves... it just wasn't right for me at the time.

I keep a reserve stock of Q-tips in my top nightstand drawer.

I actually enjoy watching Sex in the City. As much as I say it's just because my girlfriend made me watch it... I can honestly say that I got into it. I mean I will never get over the fact that Carrie cheated on Aiden. Come on Carrie, you guys were meant for each other! And you left him for Big! What were you thinking. Anyways, it's complicated.

I have a extremely large space between my big and second toe, so muchso that my own mother is repulsed by looking at my feet. That is why you may see me in flip flops, but hardly ever in bare feet.

I really like the song "Genie in a Bottle" by Christina Aguileria

when i was on the road once, i happened to pass through this town called cranbrook, close to kimberly, where i used to live. i wandered into a pub and sat down and drank many pints of beer and smoked many cigs. started checking out this girl playing pool. as i looked closer at her i realized it was an ex-girlfriend of mine. went over and said hello and hugged her. we talked for a bit then went off to another bar. then another. at the end of the night she invited me to stay at her place. i figured this was better than sleeping in the car again, so i agreed. along the way i told her i was sorry that our relationship hadn't worked out, because at the time she had acted really heart-broken. she said, "that's ok. i was actually sleeping around on you all over the place." when we got to her apartment she tried really hard to get it on with me, but i wasn't really into it anymore. she gave up on me and went to sleep on the couch leaving me alone in her bed.
later that night i woke up standing in a dark place, pissing. i knew it wasn't the washroom. looked around for a light and finally found one. i was in a big walk-in closet in her hallway pissing all over her clothes. i mean all over. like, probably a couple litres worth. i choked. felt terrible for about five seconds. then i was over it. shook, put it away, went back to bed. woke up the next day and she had gone to work. she left a note and told me to make myself comfortable and she'd make us a nice dinner when she got home. i showered, got dressed and split. hopped in the car and drove to nelson. never saw her again. don't think i've ever told anyone about that.

Gibberish and Dre Correlation

2007-11-15T14:06:00.000-08:00

Graph displaying relationship between gibberish and forgetting about Dre

TWC: Things that: chap your ass, grind your gears, or bust your balls.

2007-11-13T13:41:00.000-08:00

Piqué:

You're at the grocery store/clothing store/book store/record store/coffee shop. You've been waiting in line for a few minutes... now you're second from the front. The person in front of you is at the cashier--it's their turn to pay. And when the cashier tells them how much it's going to be, they realize, "Oh yeah, maybe I should start thinking about working on getting my money out to pay for this!". They then proceed to fish through their purse for the correct debit card to use. Oh wait, they also have air miles--hold on, the card is somewhere in there... Oh actually, foget debit, they think they have enough cash to pay. Now they've forgotten... umm... how much is it again? ... Oh goody--If they can just find a dime and a penny they think they might have exact change!! How convenient (for everyone)!

Quebec. Why you gotta be so different? And whay you gotta constantly remind me of it? You gotta have your own place on my beer bottles? You can't just go along with the rest of the country? You gotta set your own deposit price and announce it on my beer bottle label in big writing? Why don't you go fcuk yourself Quebec?

People that dress their dogs up should be shot.

Wax paper muffin wrappers. I'm pretty sure their proper name is "Baking Cups". First of all, they prevent the muffin from cooking evenly. Everybody knows the top is by far the best part and the bottom is third rate (note: yes I know there are only 2 parts to a muffin). Do people not know that these wrappers are unnecessary?! Don't bakers at least know that? Muffins can be baked without the fucking wrapper people. They're not going to burn or stick to the pan. Plus the wrappers make it work to eat a fucking muffin.Shouldn't eating baked goods should be efforless and totally pleasurable? The worst is when you try to remove the baking cup and half the fcuking muffin sticks to the paper.

I hate people that wear Santa Hats at Christmas time and think they're being cute. You're not cute! I don't care if you love Christmas. I don't care if you fancy yourself a jolly, generous, festive person. You're not Santa. So get that fucking red thing off your head you fcuking muppet. I hope you have children so I can kick them in the fucking face or something... and then you can feel the pain I feel when I look at you.

Kevin:

1. I hate ignorant people who think they are better than you because of a title or job position.
2. I hate the fact that shit in the world is not getting done NOW. We know the world is suffering from climate change and global warming..blah blah blah...but everyone just looks at the problem and says, "well yea, we need action." fuckin' A buddy.
3. I hate sprinting the length of a soccer field in the attempts to get a pass on the fly to either score a goal or lay off the ball to someone who can score but then reach the end of the field, calling and yelling for the ball and not get it!! pretty much I hate that!! When high effort = NO Payout!!
4. The amount of plastic bottles that get used EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY!! and I dont even mean globally, or nationally, but let’s keep it simple...think of BC and how many plastic bottles get used in a day.
5. I don’t have statistics but I’m sure it’s a lot...too many. It really gets my goat. Cooking yourself dinner, or ordering a meal at a restaurant.....only to find out it's cold. I can't STAND that. Cold hot meals.

Benji:

1. Waking up before 10am
2. The entire SFU business faculty (students, teachers, faculty, everyone)
3. Varsity athletes in SFU sweatsuits
4. slobish eating (I know I eat slobish, I mean real slobby- straightup piggish)
5. People who ask the question "Whats your favorite band?"

Big E:

It was really hard to narrow it down. Who knew I had so much detest in my life?

5. Chicken. This aversion stems from two sources: 1. consuming enough chicken breasts in my first two years of University to circle the earth and 2. seeing chickens being trucked to their death and the chicken processing plant on Hastings and Commercial (not to mention to caustic smell). I am willing to say that I could go the rest of my life, never missing chicken.

4. Bouncers. I had to stereotype, but let's be real. Almost all bouncers and meat-head jocks who can't add 2 + 2 and get 4. All they have going for them is their mass and extra testosterone. They exert power over us poor bar-goers stuck in line like they were the reincarnation of God herself. What really grinds my gears though is that as a patron you have absolutely no other option than to bow to their "muscle-flexing" (if you want to get in that is.) While freezing in line outside a half empty - and most likely barely half decent - club, I find myself silently wishing that those arrogant blockhead's soon suffer an unfortunate gym accident.

3. Bad manners. This is most definitely a Laura-ism. Whether it is at the dining room table, on the bus, or walking down the sidewalk, I expect good manners. I am no stuffy English High-Priestess (or modern day Miss Manners) but everyone should engage in a respectable level of etiquette! Call me crazy, but bad manners immediately turns me off. I can hardly stand being in the vicinity of the person committing acts of blatant incivility and, if possible, make sure to limit as much future contact as possible. Annoyance quickly turns to disrespect which is mighty close to dislike.

2. The SFU Business Faculty and the incompetent morons they employ. (Don't even get me started on Business Students...I could write a book). Every semester I am hopeful that my classes will prove useful and the faculty will be adequately skilled to teach and every semester I am supremely disappointed. You would think I would stop subjecting myself to routine let-downs and frustrations, but by the time you figure out what they are doing (stealing your money and providing worthless classes that pain you to attend) you are in too deep. They leave you with no chance of switching faculties and graduating in under five years.

1. Mowing the lawn. I abso-fucking-lutely detest this chore. It immediately puts me in a bad mood that will last for hours. This deep hatred stems from many childhood sunny afternoons spent pushing a lawn mower for hours. I am providing no more details because just thinking about it is causing me to unconsciously raise my pulse and clench my jaw.

Danes:

5. Anything to do with strategic planning, flow charts, process plans, mind maps, and conception diagrams.

4. When people crack the spine of a new book, fold the pages, or, general misuse or disrespect of books.

3.Emails that are one solid chunk of text riddled with shortcut spelling that is not for effect but rather laziness and terrible punctuation!!!!!!......???!!!??.... To be quite honest I often won’t read your email if it fits the above description.

2. Frodo Baggins. I fucking hate Frodo. Also, Elijah Wood- it is a bit of a chicken/egg dilemma.

1.How, when you are picking up a prescription, they make you wait for fifteen minutes while they talk to each other behind the counter instead of printing off a label, grabbing the box off the shelf and handing it to you. This bothers me so much so that I cannot be rational about the situation and accept it; instead I must stand, like an asshole, at the pickup counter staring at the pharmacist the entire time, subliminally sending them “I know you are wasting my time on purpose” hate vibes with my eyes which causes them to take even longer to prepare my prescription.

Bradley:

5. Aisle Seats
4. Mowing the Lawn
3. Tamara Taggert
2. People who say "libary", "chickmunk", or "katchup"
1. City Birds (Pigeons, Crows, and Seagulls)

Jillian:

must i really stop at 5? in no particular order, because really, how can you evaluate hate...

5. alberta, ontario, sometimes quebec. my anger towards these three provinces is divided approximately 65-25-10. in a perfect world, canada would consist of b.c., saskatchewan, manitoba, and the maritimes. the territories could opt in if they wanted to. actually in a really perfect world, b.c. would be a country all on its own. i've often wanted to start a bc separatist party. anyways, i hate alberta mostly. if i had superpowers, i would pick up the rockies and pierce alberta's heart with their most pointy peak. then, i'd remove it from calgary's heart, attach it to jerome iginla's stick and pierce his heart. then, edmonton could just wither away. sidebar - i hate pragmatists who must crush my dreams of separation... and everything else.

4. 30 something mothers who live in condos and invade granville island market with their 3 ill-behaved children and s.u.v strollers, who then proceed to order 3 warm, but not too hot hot chocolates for said children and a large non-fat extra hot 2 pump vanilla latte from jj bean. FIRST OF ALL, get your kids out of the fucking strollers, they're too big. better yet, just leave them at home. nobody wants to deal with them. secondly, when you get an extra hot coffee beverage, YOU ARE DRINKING BURNT MILK! that is disgusting. and so are you. and if you have to get vanilla in it to take away the taste of good espresso, just go back to tim hortons where you belong. also, you don't need a large. you're fat.

3. oprah and every single last thing associated with her. especially that c**t nate berkus.

2. umbrellas. it's just water. you're not going to die. umbrellas make people walk like assholes... even more so than they usually do.

1. andy warhol and those obsessed with him. yes, i know. and no, i don't care.
this will continue...

In the News...

2007-11-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Sugar Ray Thrilled To Be Playing In Man's Head

SAN DIEGO— After nearly four years without a major live show, alternative rock band Sugar Ray announced Monday that they were "thrilled beyond words" to be playing inside San Diego resident Robert Waldie's head.

Sugar Ray headlined the forefront of Waldie's mind through much of Monday afternoon, playing the chorus of their 1997 hit "Fly" seven consecutive times before segueing into an all-hum rendition of their second-most popular single, "Every Morning." Sugar Ray then played the refrain from "Fly" an additional four times before closing their set.

Study Finds Working At Work Improves Productivity:

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a groundbreaking new study by the Department of Labor, working—the physical act of engaging in a productive job-related activity—may greatly increase the amount of work accomplished during the workday, especially when compared with the more common practices of wasting time and not working... Similar findings were reported in the areas of avoiding work, putting off work, complaining about work instead of actually working, pretending to work, and fucking around.

Fashion tips for women from a guy who knows dick about fashion.

"The only thing that goes with Crocs is social ostracism. "

"I don't know what this style is called since every retailer comes up with their own "clever" name for it, so I'm just going to call them tit curtains because they look like curtains draped over your tits... I don't get it. If I had boobs, the last thing I'd want to do with them is cover them up with curtains, though I'd probably eventually cover them with curtains when I'd exhausted everything else (oil, soap, other boobs, my hands, the lid of a photocopy machine, the mouths of other lesbians, etc). Quit disrespecting your chest hams."

30 reasons why I am awesome

2007-11-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

So, perhaps it is self absorbed to write a post titled: "30 reasons why I am awesome". I figure this is an improvement from: "Why I am F'ing Sweet" which is what I was going to title it. Mostly, I just wanted to brag about all the incredible concerts I have seen since April. Thank you to those that joined me, so many amazing times!

1. Modest Mouse- Two sets of drums, great live sound

2. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists – boundless passion for performing

3. Peter, Bjorn and John – Before the concert I had only ever heard “Young Folks” and was blown away by the Swedish awesomeness, ps. the video is pretty cute

4. The Arcade Fire - WOW - I complain that I will never get to experience Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd, but the Arcade Fire, I believe, will be a cultural artifact from our generation.

5. Architecture in Helsinki – So fun, great energy
Opener: YACHT – Strange but cool I guess, music on laptop accompanied by dance

6. The White Stripes – Intense. Life altering. Dana=altered

7. Cary Brothers – I fell a bit in love
Opener: Mother Mother – pleasantly surprised- check out "Verbatim"

8. John Fogerty – lifelong dream come to fruition

Bumbershoot – Best consecutive 3 days of my life

9. The Shins – Winsome, lovely!

10. Kings of Leon – very rock, dude wore a vest

11. Gym Class Heroes – terrible

12. Wu-Tang – F’ing sweet... dollar dollar bill y’all

13. Andrew Bird – INCREADIBLE, I love whistling in songs. Would marry him tomorrow: Dana Bird

14. Joss Stone – aggravating, too much chatter on stage, I don’t want to hear about your life Joss.

15. John Legend – not my style but props to him for a good show.

16. Tokyo Police Club –can’t get into cheering for a bunch of screaming teens.

17. Devotchka – awesome experience, man drinking directly from a bottle of wine and woman dancing in huge tuba like instrument covered with red twinkly lights. Plus, Devotchka is just amazing...Little Miss Sunshine...

18. Barrington Levy – SO FUN – true performer... More and More and More and...

19. Rodrigo y Gabriela - beautiful

20. The Aggrolites - What a party, best live energy ever, how can you go wrong with a bunch of guys wearing jail suits and singing reggae!?!

21. Fleet Foxes – the next Neil Young

Bloodhag – Kidding, I wish I saw Bloodhag

22. Spoon – FUCK!!! SPOON!!! Maybe one of my best musical moments ever
Opener: Black Joe Lewis – the perfect lead in to Spoon...I love blues and SPOON

23. Shiny Toy Guns – the chick was sweet -she should do all the singing or get a new band.

24. Peter Bjorn and John – not as intense as the first time

25. Fujiya and Miyagi – although they aren’t Japanese they are brilliant.
Opener: Project Jenny Project Jan – very cool openers, great stuff, bought the cd

26. Shout Out Louds – Great instruments...they create great music

27. Final Fantasy – Sweet, I loved the projector show, plus I love the violin.
Opener: Great Lake swimmers – meh, kinda whiny

28. Joanna Newsom – delicate and enchanting

29. Caribou – great show, battling drums and a front man who is maybe the most talented guy I have ever seen...also they feature the recorder in one song.

30. MIA – still to come

TWC: Top 5 BEST Combos

2007-11-05T12:33:00.000-08:00

J-Bones

1. chocolate ice cream and milk- oh chicrème
2. stars and guitar music
3. spicy food and hot tea
4. celery and the whiz (cheese)
5. mittens and string

po:

5. teak mid-century dining furniture + hot pink
4. blackberry + basil
3. off-white black and white stripes + mustard yellow
2. ceramic bowls + wooden spoons
1. pimms + ginger

Benji:

1. fries + gravy+ cheese curds
2. Neil young and Crazy Horse
3. Ranch+ bacon bits+ baked potato
4. Wings and beer
5. Campfires and smores in summertime

Biggah:

Here are my answers (all are favourites, no particular no. 1)

Yogurt (the cloud kind), homemade granola and fresh berries.
Apple pie and cheddar cheese
Tomato, mozza and basil
Chocolate and mint
Pinapple, sour cream and brown sugar

Grecs:

1. Hookah and Tea
2. Moccasins and Housecoat (that's right folks... I own both)
3. Steak and Lobster
4. Coffee and Bailey's
5. Music and Marijuana

B*Rad:

My top 5 best combos: In order of how addicted I am. 5 representing a mild addiction. 1 representing; can't stop, binge-worthy, navel snorting, dirty acts, I need rehab treatment immeadeately addiction.

5. Salt N Pepa
4. Marijuana and Twin Peaks
3. Batcaves and Chinapple Hats
2. Jan and Victoria Bos
1. Hookers and Blow

***Hopeful combo of the future: Pigeons and Extinction

TheDanes:

5. 5pm, setting sun, front stoop, gin, tonic, lime
4. Jim and Pam, Jan and Victoria Bos, Quinton and Uma
3. Brown and turquoise
2. Whistling and songs
1. Hookers and Blow

Prokopios:

watching sports & drinking beer
good pizza & cold beer
nice cars & nice girls in bikinis
chocolate & peanut butter
t & a

Kevin:

1. Jam and Cheese. If you've never tried it, do it. Preferably on a bagel!

2. Cheese cake and Baileys!!

3. Steak and Gorgonzola!! mmmmmm....really take any type of red meat,it may work for chicken...cook it...BBQ would be my suggestion, andtop it off with blue cheese (be sure to melt it!). HEAVENLY!

4.Sun and Beer!! Who can argue that one!! haha. Hot summer days and anIce cold brewskie!!!

5. chocolate and Hazelnuts

I know what you all are thinking, this fool likes cheese too much !!It really is a world wonder!! But once I reached #3, i decided to tryand expand my thought process to exclude cheese!! Haha

TWC: Strange and Unconventional Quirks

2007-11-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

I have this strange and unconventional quirk that is somewhat bizarre and 100% unique:

I... sneeze when I look at the sun. It's a medical condition you know!

I... have the capability to cook amazing food from barely any ingredients, but am incredibly modest about how good the fixings actually are.

I... will throw out anything that I own if a spider walks across it.

I...am deathly afraid of cityfowl, especially pigeons; also, I have a thing against most shoes and blue pillar candles.

I...hate capital letters.

I...dislike showering and was severely traumatised by the fact that because my father was cheap, throughout my childhood we could only watch one channel at a time.

I...have an ardent passion for and devotion to reggae music

Caribou

2007-11-02T10:56:00.000-07:00

Caribou on Tuesday night was phenom and also educational.

I learned a few things:

More bands should have two drummers
Drummers should more frequently be up front
A sheet and light show can really kick it up a notch.
Even if you are tired and have already had two fun-filled nights and it is only Tuesday and you are thinking that maybe you should just stay home and sleep... resist the urge...as what you are missing could be as genius as Dan Snaith (and not just because he has his doctorate in math from Cambridge- so I learned from LastFM).

A sip of tea and all that it can encapsulate

2007-11-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

Isn’t it amazing how a smell or taste can transport you? I was reading at my desk in my office today listening to Feist and Catpower. I had a cup of tea steeping beside me. I reached over to my big blue mug, the one that I have been a devoted slave to for the past mmm 3 years - Wow that is remarkable. I have used the same mug, basically daily, for almost 3 years.

Anyways, I reached over- cradling it like an extension of my own being, brought it to my mouth, allowed it to warm my hands and fill my my nose with its familiar floral scent.

When the Earl Grey hit my lips I was back at the Delta house, wrapped in a toga blank as I used to do as a result of the sub zero temperatures. I was wearing my slippers- of course, as well as my over sized sweatpants that were a gift from my Acadia Alumni friend Jenny. I was perched on one of the crappy and uncomfortable black chairs `borrowed` from SFU residence and I could see various brown tiles peeling off the floor.

The table before me was covered in whatever art project I had been toiling at for the past month that I couldn’t seem to motivate myself to finish. A notebook of Pia's sat attentively across from me with her unique and very recognisable writing style. Several old newspapers were strewn about open to pertinent articles about technology, language or Stephen Harpers latest abomination; also abandoned in the chaos is a random To Do List of Tracey’s which would always crack me up as they included items like “Eat Lunch” and “ass cream” the latter I would have snuck onto the list laughing at my own comic genius.

Tracey's computer proudly dominated some of the kitchen table real estate, along with random pantyhose, a crossword completed by multiple members, a dillion pens, burnt cds and other miscellaneous objects.

I think about who I was then. How I have changed. How we have all changed. I think about that life and the goodness it possessed, the richness of it all. The excitement, the parties, the mess, the ranty conversations, the boys, the neighbours, the deck, the ideas, the hangovers, the books, the fashion, the music, mostly just the experience of it all. It was a whirlwind and it played out in our kitchen.

I think of my life in the same way as the geological time periods. Each era has major players, defining characteristics and strengths and weaknesses. I find comfort in my own continuity, I reflect at my good fortune. I have always loved geology, something about how time and pressure can bend and fold that which appears to be unbendable and unfoldable. I embrace and acknowledge the times that were and look forward to the times that will be. It is dangerous to be caught in the past, and I try to ensure that I keep my eyes fixed forward but my brief trip back to the Delta house yeilded a pleasant moment of warm refelction; a celebration of open minds and adventurous spirits.

TWC: PoTaToEs

2007-10-26T15:30:00.000-07:00

Piqué:

5. Garlic Mashed Potatoes
4. Rosemary Roast Potatoes
3. Perogies
2. Aloo Paratha
1d. Curly Fries
1c. Potato Wedges
1b. Poutinea
1a. French Fries

Danes:

5. Double stuffed potatoes – bake ‘em, scoop out of the skin, mix with fabulous things like garlic and cheese and chives and bacon bits. Then return the mixture to the skin put back in the oven and bake again.

4. Campfire potatoes - this is a baked potato kicked up a notch as you burry it in the ash of a campfire pit then build the fire on top. After a few hours when the fire has died down you dig them out and fix them up in your preferred manner. They seem to melt in your mouth and have a Smokey quality that is to die for. Don’t go easy on the butter.

3. Potato Volcano. My sister Tara’s signature move. She makes the most insanely wonderful gravy then shapes her mashed potatoes into a volcano like structure, filling it with gravy lava. yummm

2. Brick O’ Fries – I f’ing love French fries. Especially fresh cut ones with the skin still on purchased from a man in a van or booth. At Bumbershoot they maintained their deep-fry-basket shape hence the name “Brick”.

1. Fried potatoes – the next morning take your leftover boiled or steamed potatoes and slice them up very thin. Fill your fry pan with glorious amounts of butter and then lay out the thin slices in the pan. Cut up green onions and add heavy doses of salt and pepper. They will become crispy, taste delicious and cause you to gain 5 pounds as well as clog all your arteries immediately upon eating.

Gerry:

#1. Baked - in a campfire with lots of sourcream
#2. Scalloped - I think this one is seriously under-rated
#3. Mashed - with Gravy
#4. Boiled - Boring
#5. Canned - didn't know these were real until my 75 year old grandfather gave us a can for X-mas.

Cam:

5. poutine. but you gotta use real gravy and real cheese curds. and double-fry the chips. that's important.

4. jacket tatties. you have to bake a large potato til the skin is fairly crisp, then you slice it in half down the middle and mash up the insides, using the skin as a bowl. then you add butter, garlic, cheese, etc. anything, really. a typical british fast food.

3. korokke pan. korokke is basically meat or shrimp or vegetables packed in mashed potatoes and then rolled in egg and flour and breadcrumbs. then you deepfry it. the "pan" part just means it's stuck in a bun, like a korokke sandwich.

2. perogies. with sour cream. 'nuff said.

1. bangers and mash. gotta be good bangers, though. lamb sausage is my favourite. and leave the damn skin on the potatoes. it's good for you.

po:

5. in home made pirohy... with feta, dill, and lemon dill sauce.

4. mashed, made into a volcano, with delicious, salty roast chicken gravy spilling out like lava.

3. sliced, doused in olive oil, wrapped in tin foil with pearl onions, garlic, salt, pepper, and oregano.
2. deep fried pomme frites with a steak at jules
1. smashed potatoes... boiled red nugget potatoes, smashed with a fork, drizzled with olive oil, mixed with salt, pepper, and minced garlic, then put in the oven at 425 for about half an hour... they turn out sooooo creamy on the bottom and CRISPY, oh god, CRISPY on top. mmmmmmmmmm.

Biggah:

HATED:

5. Potato Salad (with a creamy dressing). Starch and fat all mushed together resulting in a heavy, yellowy tinged mass. Gross.

4. Baked. Firstly, it is extremely boring to eat a potato this way because most times all you have is butter and sour cream to ease the pastiness. Secondly, many people try and put fake bacon bits on baked potatoes as well, which is absolutely repulsive. A little throw-up just crept up my mouth thinking about the smell of fake meat. Eww.

NEUTRAL:

3. Hashbrowns. No love or hate for these. Fried potatoes with cheese and green onions make a yummy compliment to an egg breakfast. But I could live without them. This apathy most likely stems from my inability as a child to enjoy these little potato morsels with a healthy topping of "red death" (according to Laura)

LOVED:

2. Mashed. Creamy, garlicky goodness. I love them whipped and hot with a nice glob of butter melting on top of them. So good. And they are mold-able, aka fun food.

1. Potato Dumplings (with plums in the middle). These are one of my grandmother's signature desserts. Potato is used as the binding agent for the dumplings and creates an absolutely sumptuous dessert. Warm Italian plums, nestled in a thick potatoe and bread crumb crust. Yumm! A little white sugar on top and you are in heaven for the 1.25 minutes it takes you to eat your portion.

Benji:

1. french fries clearly
2. roasted (garlic and herbs!)
3. baked (bacon bits and ranch)
4. breakfast home fries (the shredded kind)
5. mashed

Brad:

5. Raw; Ruthie Arp, my Grandmother's best friend eats a raw potato every morning. This is the same woman who smokes two cigarettes at a time when she is not winning at bingo, or if she is winning. She also is able to pee standing up, like a man. A story for another time. You are probably reading this thinking, "Wow, what a character". But in actuality she is quite a boring sad balding old lady.

4. Baked; Working at a fast food restaurant that prides itself on it's baked potatoes, and subsequently being burned by the "potato oven" almost every shift, you begin to develop quite a hate for those damn things. The baked potato and the work involved around it was the bane of my Wendy's existence. However, potato wars were fun.

3. Fries; They are quite tasty, but to be honest they are killing you.

2. Mashed; what a treat when someone decides to make mashed potatoes! It sure doesn't happen enough. And leftover mashed potatoes are so good.

1. Nugget/New Potatoes. From my Grandma Betty's garden, they are so tasty, for any occasion. Plus "taties" from my Grandma's garden remind me of my Grandpa, who had a song to sing about anything and everything, including potatoes,

"Have you ever seen the devil, with his little wooden shovel, diggin' taties in the garden with his nightgown on?"
Thanks for that song Grandpa, you were pretty rad. I will never forget it.

Jennybones:

MOST FAV: stuffed potatoes
2. baked potatoes with chives
3. scalloped potatotes
4. mashed potatoes
5. french fries

et c'est tout, in potato love

Rogue Wave:

5. Country Mash- No one can argue a good potato mash!! but it has to be done with the skins still on the potatoes..or at least some of the skins. Best prepared with small red potatoes which have a lighter skin!! Boil up the spuds, add sauteed garlic, butter milk, sour cream...salt, pepper, assorted herbs, chives...maybe green onions finely finely chopped for the adventurous...then mash it all up!!! mmmmmmmm

4. Plain and Fried!! sometimes simple is all you need! all you need is to peel and boil some spuds...you could leave the skin on, but quarter then when u boil them. DO NOT over boil!! drain when finished. Fry each side to golden brown in hot olive oil infused with garlic...this is done by leaving a clove of garlic whole, and unpeeled, but crushed under hand weight to sit in the olive oil as the potatoes fry!! lightly salt after frying.

3. Potato Salad. And i do not mean potato salad with any form of Mayo in it....that's just gross. Potato salad with may should never exist and should never be eaten. I do the good old fashioned German influenced potato salad which is based with mustard and vinegar..it is really upped when cucumbers are added as well!! I can not reveal this recipe though...goes down through the ages and you may have the privilege of me making it for you one day if u ask very nicely!! I will tell u it has white vinegar, a good mustard, dijon or a good Austrian mustard works best!!.....and after letting sit for a few hours a cucumber salad is added for extra crunch and crisp freshness!!!

Serve chilled...and the longer it sits in the fridge the better it tastes!!!

2. Honey Mustard potatoes. Perfect for a beef roast or pork roast side! and these kind of potatoes are very easy to make. Once potatoes are cooked by boiling, have them cut to desired size for consumption and place in fry pan with hot olive oil. Instead of adding already prepared honey mustard, its so much better to make your own on spot. add salt and pepper to the spuds. herbs....im not sure if rosemary will work with this but it may..try it out. add honey right to the potatoes and mustard...to your liking...which flavor do you favor the most!! splash of vinegar (literally) stir it up...as bob marley says.....and there u go!!

1.Breakfast Hashbrowns A La Kevin. the best of the best.....easy and great for breakfast.....may be time consuming if you;re not organized. recommended for a morning where u do not have to rush off quickly...ie/ a hung over morning!! sautee onions, garlic, bell peppers and mushrooms quickly...can add hot peppers for taste.....add potatoes...hopefully precooked...left over potatoes work well or microwaved spuds...u can use raw, but ensure they are cut VERY thin and small to speed up cooking times. Add lots of BASIL, Oregano, salt and peper. Cook to crisp. NOT burnt...brown and crisp..the finer the potatoes the closer to hash browns they will be!! these are by far my favorite way to make potatoes!!

TWC: Guide to the Class of '92

2007-10-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

Gerry:
1. Jessie Spanno: I believe I saw her last Wednesday turning tricks on Hastings and Main.

2. Zack Morris: Works for the NYPD.

3. Lisa Turtle: After a brief stint in the fashion industry, Lisa took turn for the worse and spiraled into a coke addicted depression. Lisa was last seen in a police shootoff when a liquor store robbery went sour. May she rest in peace.

4. A.C. Slater: Married Kelly Kapowski and is now living at the Shady Pines Trailer Park. Currently unimployed.

5. Kelly Kapowski: Gaining "a few" pounds after highschool, Kelly developed an unfortunate addiction to Slim Fast diet shakes. Although her insulin levels remain dangerously low her lust for life continues to soar.

Kevin:
1. Cindy C. This name just popped into my head when I looked at her face. Shes the kind of girl that does not present her last name to anyone. She is just simple Cindy! Middle class New York city background Cindy tries desperately to be thought of as upper class by painstakingly paying attention to her looks. If asked where from, she will give a short reply of "Malibu" accompanied with a cute giggle and hair flick to draw attention. Cindy has no time for cheerleaders or other girls. She is way too cool. Cindy wants to be a nurse, so she can help others! Go get it Cindy!

2. Jon Bon Jovi. Need I say more……….

3. Maria Provokativa. Oh Maria…..que pasa? You speak good English now. And your hair looks so very nice. How is your family doing? Are they settling into their new home in southern California? Oh…they live with your 2 uncle's as well? You must be glad to be out of there finally and here in school! Maria has a tendency to be quite aggravating from time to time. But it is well countered with a perfect smile, which does not always come out in those stupid year book photos we have to take. Maria loves to skip down the hallways in between classes and she really does not like blondes.

4. "LaRock the Jock", "Maverick", "Mr. Suave" were just some of the names are old friend Bob Baker went by through high school. Quarterback of the high school football team, captain of the men's cheerleading squad, two time elected "most sexy" of the swim team are just some of the experiences which pepper his resume. How did he ever find time for all those sports and accompanying girls? Ah yes, I understand now…….."Ill take fries with that Bob…no no…the curly ones…Thanks man!!!"

5. Sarah Timmins. Or should I say Dr. Sarah Timmins. Thas right you guessed it! There had to be one success story child in this bunch. Sarah did it. She fought off the consistent badgering and teasing for being the smart one and now pulls in a six digit pay cheque. Sarah was always a timid girl but love sending time out doors. Like all girls, she ogled at Bob and had an eye on Jon bon through out high school but was really too shy to speak up. Weekends were spent at home, usually studying or helping mother with house hold chores. But little did everyone know that she also had a fancy for her Dad's old 1969 Mach 1 ford Mustang!! It now sits in her garage and is under repairs a la Sarah.

Cam:
the girl on the far left is liza lipschitz. a trust-fund girl from jersey, her interests included shopping at bloomingdales, listening to her rick astley records and finding new ways to use the word "like" in a sentence. unfortunately she developed lung cancer at a young age due to hairspray inhalation and died.

next in line is billy anderson. head of the football team. set the school record for touchdowns, keg-stands and date rapes. very popular with the ladies... right up until his grad year when his penchant for sniffing athletic-supporters was made public, after which he faded into miserable obscurity. his favourite words and terms include "gnarly", "bogus" and "fuckin' A".

next we have juanita hernadez, an exchange student from argentina. as a child, she was kicked in the head by an alpaca and suffered minor brain injuries that unfortunately permanently damaged her sense of symmetry. head of the knitting club, further interests include chastity, the virgin mother and self-righteousness.

the boy with the heart around his head is dallas kneller. dallas had a rough childhood. his neglectful parents left him to watch hours and hours of terrible after-school television, including his favourite program, "the fresh prince of bel-air". a mixture of inhalation of solvents, masterbation and general over-exposure to sit-com drivel lead to a strange "Will Smith" fetish. eventually he could only get it up for men with protruding ears and goatees.

the girl at the far right is janis o'malley. this is her yearbook. poor janis was hopelessly in love with dallas.

PK's Guide to the Class of '92:
Pat is a hot bitch. I mean that in a good way. Can't you see her looking at me with that cheeky smile and those fuck-me-eyes?

You can't really tell from this photo, but Kevin is actually cross-eyed. His "favorit class" is Phys. Ed.; his "werst" is math. He has a rockin' smile and he knows girls think he's hot.

Fashionable Vivian is shy but confident. Everyone loves her plaid turtleneck and "fun" pigtails. She comes off as consciencious because she doesn't like to party, but soon everyone will find out that she focked nine guys in her grade 11 year.

Girls love Brendin. They think he's "so cute" and "such a nice guy"--and they LOVE his puppy dog eyes. Despite this, he struggles with girls throughout high-school. They don't take him seriously. He tries steroids, hoping he'll bulk up and that the girls will start to respect him. The roids make him ill-tempered and give him bad acne and his struggles continue...

Jennifer is a major go-getter, miss popularity, and is a gossip. She is smart and polite and all the teachers love her but people close to her describe her as "moody" and, soon after high school, will be diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Dana:
Tammy: The one that everyone’s parents hated. Had a mother who was never around so anytime you needed to avoid curfew her house was the place. She “developed” early and had knowledge of sex and the male anatomy more so than the “Health Class” teacher, and often delighted at enlightening the other girls when the opportunity arose.

Favorite song: Like a virgin - Madonna
Last Words: “If you can’t be Good, Be Good at it”

Kimmy: Vice-President of the Cheer Squad! Dating a socially well placed linebacker on the football team. Enjoys cooking and sewing and has aspirations of having a family someday. Never uses language like fuck or cunt.

Favorite song: When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton
Last Words: All you need is Love!

Garrett: His stylish mullet made him a favourite among the ladies of Roxette High. He was a natural athlete and was the star of all the sports teams. He was also a natural asshole and was very skilful at hiding the fact that despite his 12 years of school “he can’t read good”. He is known by his buddies as “the stallion”.

Favourite song: the Stroke, Billy Squire
Last Words: “Just a man and his will to survive"

Don- A member of both the wrestling team and the track team and a decent student Don surprised everyone when he was arrested for stalking Catlin as well as assaulting Joey Jeremiah from the series Degrassi Jr High.

Favourite Song: Miss You Much – Janet Jackson
Last Words: “Joey doesn’t deserve you Caitlin”

Kristy- Was really into animation however was never taken seriously by any of her peers or teachers. Had a bit of a temper problem and was a regular at anger management classes. Was suspended in her senior year for flying into a rage and pushing a Costco size bottle of pink hand soap out of a third story window; thus creating a veritable cement slip and slide on the pavement below.

Favourite Song: Deeelite – Groove is in the heart.
Last Words: “When you grow up, your heart dies”

Dana's List of the best things in life....

2007-10-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

It has taken me a considerable amount of time to compile this list. The entire experience was rewarding as it really forced me to acknowledge the things that I hold close to my heart, and gave me an opportunity to reflect on the person I am and what in life is truly important to me.

So here it goes...

Dana's List of the BEST things in life

Morning sunshine, pink painted toenails, cute undies – calling them undies. Retro bikes- and giving inanimate objects nicknames.

Black tea with a splash of milk after dinner. Fine tip markers that are good for colouring on things. The smell of rain on pavement in summertime.

Photosynthesis.

Bellybuttons. Clean sheets and shaved legs. Starry nights. Boys with backpacks full of gear. Spitting sunflower seeds while driving on a winding dirt road. When forest fires make the sun glow pink.

Apprehensive kisses. Music that encapsulates a moment. Wanton splatters of paint that you discover days later. Popcorn at the movies. Getting ready for dances in junior high.

Coffee and a good mug that you can wrap your hands around. Postcards. Cake for breakfast. Making crafts. Drive in movies. Pussy willows, stuffed animal wars, fern fights and tree houses - innocence.

Travel stink – and everything else that goes with traveling.

Used books and used book shop jungles. Tan skin and the smell of coconut lotion. Freckles. A cat’s attitude. Make-up as an art form. Gnarled trees and Brad’s enrapturing stories.

Aquamarine.

Playing Tag in the dusk until your mom calls you home. Crickets providing the soundtrack to the summer. The simplistic beauty of sea shells. The ugly factor of sturgeon. Fingers -especially my boney ones. Thinking about how mountains were formed.

Daydreams. Dancing at Honey. Falling asleep when the sun is already awake. Adrenaline. A gorgeous pair of high heels. Pushing a button (especially a red one) you don’t know the consequence of.

Capricious and impassioned singing in the car with the closest of friends.

Warm clothes out of the dryer. The fuzz on peaches. Campfires. The ambiance created by burning candles. Being the cause or catalyst of a beaming smile.

Secret languages between friends.

Thick, sweet smelling lotion. Reading on my front stoop-front stoops in general. Homemade salsa. The stamp on my forearm- evidence of last night’s debauchery that I forgot to scrub off before work.

Sleepovers.

Metaphors.

Red wine in a Bordeaux glass. A witty retort. Woolly slippers. My Granny's jewellery. Organic yoghurt that tastes like clouds. All encompassing hugs that melt worries. The excitement of talking to boys on the phone.

Jenn’s hair and how it’s always evolving. A boisterous card game that results in playful shouting and cursing. Long luxurious sleep-ins and a good morning stretch. The sound a pen makes when it scratches on paper.

Errant smiles tossed at strangers.

Curls as they crawl down a boy’s neck when his hair is getting a bit too long. Large glamorous sunglasses. Fervent and ranty conversations. Fuzzy caterpillars. People that work in coffee shops.

The feeling you get when you think you may be out of control running hard down a hill. Snuggling under a blanket. Watching the same movies repeatedly with your sisters.

Raucous laughter! -almost pee your pants laughter.

Treasures that cost a dollar. Polka dots. The way a summer dress can make you feel. Peeling a grapefruit, bugging Ben about his mom peeling his grapefruits. Documentaries.

Holding hands. Swirly doodles. The taste of the glue on stamps. TV theme songs from childhood. Birthday cards. Icing- especially when it is turned blue with food colouring. Bunny rabbits. Discussing life with my mother.

Passion.

Bum dimples. Dystopian novels. Nakedness. Smoke rings. Hosting and attending theme parties. Dressing up. A beautiful notebook. Silk scarves tied around necks. The boots I bought in Rome, the boots I couldn’t afford in Florence.

Short yet complex puzzles. Poetic lyrics that inspire. Smoothed blue or green glass you find on the beach. Burying my toes in warm sand. Watercolours. The dizzy euphoria created by the hooka.

Music in Tarantino movies. The Sexy Eyes. The sound shell earrings make when you sway. Brush strokes in impressionists paintings.

The smells of: freshly cut grass, coffee grounds, and cedar.

Friends that are life enduring. Being a big sister. Concert t-shirts and t-shirt irony. How, many years later, I still have all the lines to the movie Dazed and Confused memorized.

Being waterlogged from eating an entire watermelon.

History.

Gin and tonic extra lime. Anything really sour or really spicy. Reading the paper on a Saturday morning with coffee and friends. Visits to the hair dresser.

Private jokes. Live music. Aspirations.

Change.

James Joyce’s passage on snow falling in Dublin. Crossword solving with my roommate. Diction, especially the words: vermilion, papillon, effervescent, crux, intrepid, esoteric, liaison, bliss, rad, mirth, juxtapose....

Saying the same thing as someone else at the same time. Waking someone up with Butterfly Kisses.

The Unknown. The Known.

Misshapen chaos of well seeming forms. Fireworks. Original Nintendo. Lavender.
The rock star face.
Monkeys.
Looking someone deep in the eyes and trying hard not to be the first to look away.

Learning always learning. Chocolate. Fresh flowers. Precious moments captured on film. Mix tapes -even though they are on cd.

Whistling in songs. “That is what I hope I like I old.” A cosy cardigan. Silver rings with sparkly jewels. How sweat pools on my lower back in yoga.

The last sentence on the last page of a book.

Love, sweet love.

TWC: Favorite: dirty, smutty, salacious...

2007-10-07T13:00:00.000-07:00

...sensual, unchaste, erotic, bawdy, fleshy.... line from a song.

Lindsay Flem:

Although this might not be the most sexually explicit song ever written, I think it disturbs me more in its subtle, yet disturbingly obvious description of oral sex. While the innuendo is obvious to the discerning ear, poor young girls and boys were completely oblivious to its hidden meaning and continued to sing along to the song in their blissful mid-90's teeny-bopping ignorance. Not to mention that the video is an absolute abomination - seriously, the intense homoeroticism and creepy 9 year old pre-thug who finds the B44 View Finder in the trash are such an awkward and unnecessary combination. The whole song is ridiculous, but the best/worst line is "Im gonna make you come tonight .... (deliberate extended pause) .... over to my house!" bahahaha I'M ON TO YOU B44 you sneaky spikey haired devils!!

Get Down: B44

If you get down on me
I'll get down on you
I will do anything
That you want me to
It's a game of give and take
To make it through
So if you get down on me
I'll get down on you tonight

PK:

"This one is pretty clever. And honesty is sexy isn't it?"

OutKast - Hey Ya!

"Don't want to meet your daddy,
Just want you in my Caddy.
Don't want to meet your momma,
Just want to make you cumma.
I'm just being honest.
I'm just being honest."

I can't choose only one. Honourable mention to this random song:
It's a techno song and that's the only lyric (repeated 3 times throughout the song).

Klubbheads - Work This Pussy

"Work this pussy you big ugly bean-eatin' ass son of a bitch. Yooo!"

B*Rad:

SEXIEST SONG EVER! TONI, YOU DIRTY GIRL!!!!!

Toni Braxton - I Get So High

I'll always think of you
Inside of my private thoughts
I can imagine you
Touching my private parts
With just the thought of you
I cant help but touch myself
Thats why I want you so bad
Just one night of Moonlight,
with you there beside me
All night, doin it again and again
You know I want you so bad
Baby, baby, baby, baby

Big E

This song line is from the TH18 glory days. Cellar anyone?"

Lil' Jon & the Eastside Boyz - Get Low lyrics

To the sweat drop down my balls,
To all these bitches crawl.

Cam

"Big Ten Inch Record" - Moose Jackson

I cover her with kisses
and when we're in a lover's clinch
she gets all excited
and she begs for my big 10 inch...

record of a band that plays the blues
she just love my big 10 inch
record of her favorite blues

my girl don't go for smokin'
and liquor just make her flinch
seems she don't go for nothin' 'cept for my big 10 inch...

Danes:

CSS: Art Bitch

Lick Lick Lick My Art Tit!
Suck Suck Suck My Art hole!

TWC: You know you are from Vancouver when...

2007-10-02T16:10:00.000-07:00

You know you are from Vancouver when...

Big E:
...you wear black lulus as dress pants.

Jenny:
...when you think that its ok that clothes come in size 00.

Benji:
...you make over 500,000 a year and still cannot afford a decent place to live.

Ange:
...the mention that someone is from Surrey automatically turns you off.

Kevo:
... a non-raining gray sky lifts your inner spirit!

PK:
...you talk about the erratic weather constantly.

Dana:
...you know Squire Barnes and believe the name to be as irritating as the person.

Brad:
... you can justify kicking a paraplegic in the nuts.

A Junktastic Response ~ By Bradley, (Friend/Curler)

2007-10-01T16:20:00.000-07:00

Commercials, advertisements, and society in general are all aimed at glorifying "things" and selling them as "Things". That is the need to propel a product or an idea into such prominence in one's life, that being without, would be like being without a soul, or a sense of being. This tactic can be applied to anything from a Saturn minivan to an Egg McMuffin. Western culture's obsession with "things", limits the value held in contentious or pivotal issues (and dare I say, traditional values as well). Instead of wanting a healthy family, or a stable home life, we want an I-Pod. Instead of reading the newspaper, or even watching the news; we turn to magazines, gossip websites, and reality TV.

Is it that one is so scared of reality we try and escape into fantasy worlds? Or is a portion of the population simply oblivious to the changing dynamics and the impending horror of what the world is becoming?

The question of image is a tough "nut to crack". When it boils down to it, EVERYONE has an image. You have to choose something, or a smattering of somethings. People that try so hard to be "imageless" are the most obvious of all. The typical Commercial Drive hipster, who only wears hemp, composts in their bedroom, and hates anyone who wears a leather jacket or owns a TV, are the easiest to spot. I sometimes wonder if they think, "Who am I, and how did I assimilate into this culture of "poor aristocracy". Pointing your nose up at every person unlike you who walks the street is just as bad as rich people not bothering to communicate with the "commoners".

Don't get me wrong, I think it is completely okay to hate Wal-Mart, America, and Television, but is it NOT okay for people to actually like these things? One can try and hold up the ideals important to them, but why bash others for expressing what they like?

I have thought in the past that a certain group of people are just simply more aware of the plight of the universe, whereas others are completely oblivious. I sometimes envy the oblivious, however, WE ALL BUY INTO SOMETHING.

It is essentially about, us, as humans, in a rich country; trying to find the right (or maybe righteous) path, and being so fucking confused along the way.

The Western/First World "culture" disgusts me, but I would never want to experience third world hardships.

Why do we complain?

Sincerly,

A Consumer.

A Junktastic Ideology - Part 2

2007-09-21T12:57:00.000-07:00

For most of us a “junktastic ideology” and a “product drunk culture” is not new and startling information. We all know our society is escalating out of control, sometimes it feels like preaching to the converted. But how converted are we? I know that I am guilty. I can still fall madly in love with a dress or a pair of shoes - inanimate things that should not have such power over me. I struggle to find ways to manage the clutter rather than downsizing it. I am selective in my efforts. What values am I espousing?

I turn my nose up at those that spend exorbitant amounts on labels for the enhancement of their cultural capital. No matter if your clothes are purchased at Holt or at Value Village we are all cultivating some sort of image when we dress in the mornings, no matter if you understand it or not what you put on speaks about your person. Just like the books you select to read, the films you chose to watch and the events you attend all weave together to form the image you wish to project.

It doesn’t matter if the things you chose to consume are highbrow or lowbrow you are still consuming- and that is what gets me.

Lately I find myself struggling with authenticity. I walk down the enlivened Commercial Drive which I have come to love for its chaotic communal atmosphere. I see a vibrant counter culture that celebrates an alternative and retro revival. I am not confident however that the mainstream fashion rejection is rooted in a vehement refusal of mainstream norms but rather that it is just another way to consume. The problem for me lies in the fact that the progressive lifestyle ideas are imbued with this fashion choice when in actuality the price tag on a vintage dress can be the equivalent of a new one. Somehow the alternative style has become intertwined with socially conscious humans and I think that this is a hugely flawed generalization. You would be hard pressed to find someone who will tell you that they buy vintage clothes because they are against the creation of more needless items – hence why Mintage sells both vintage and designer duds.

Am I the only one that finds it ironic that my street is called Commercial Drive? Just wondering?

The “Drive” is just a counter culture - a pretty good one at that, and hey we all must exist somewhere... but my problem is that we express ourselves by trashing mainstream culture; I know many of us are educated or in the process of becoming educated, socially aware, well-read and for the most part- financially overextended. What bothers me is the elitist views we take as though we have it all figured out and can chastise the rest of the world for their lifestyle choices. And yes, I know that I am the ringleader of the “I hate consumerism and mass culture Club”, so maybe this sour tang I find in my mouth is a result of my own inability to reconcile my beliefs and dislikes about our world knowing that it is not my place to judge.

Maybe I am just a hopeless hypocrite.

What I have always felt about consumerism is somewhat Orwellian, in that the Proles were distracted by the lottery, I feel like the masses are being duped by the needless pursuit of finery. I feel like instead of tackling the major problems in our world we are content to be distracted by material things and all I can say is thankfully we were born here because the other end of the spectrum is not faced with questions like dark or light denim but by much more meaningful and urgent things, like survival. Do we allow the system to continue because we are all waiting for our opportunity to ascend to the upper echelons -where we can exist in opulence or is it because we believe with the purchasing of one more hat or coat or plasma screen TV we will achieve contentment? When and how did we come to connect the pursuit of happiness with the pursuit of objects?

I guess within my own community I don’t like to see people falling into the same traps that they use on the masses, I guess I just expect more from us. I guess I had assumed that us auspicious ones would take our positive circumstances and use them for the betterment of human kind rather than celebrating our own good fortune. I guess I was naive- and now, I’m just disheartened.

So...Havana’s anyone? Pitcher of sangria on the patio- we can criticise what everyone else is wearing. I will be the girl toting a classic and pivotal piece of literature, a bag displaying the buttons from the bands and social movements I currently support, in a dress I bought up the road. I will laugh and joke with my friends and complain about all the things that are wrong with the world -but don’t worry I won’t mention my own inaction, I won’t face my own demons.... they are so last season.

TWC: Birthday Stories

2007-09-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

Pia’s Birthday:

My Best Birthday EVER: Most certainly.... Plaid and Poka dot! you guys all know the story and I've never been so SURPRISED in my life.
From the best friends ever ;-)

Jenn’s Birthday Woe:

One day, a girl arrives in France, following 24 hours of no sleep. Foreign country, no friends....its a bad set up. Oh, and it rained. AND she realized that on sundays nothing is open. not that it would have mattered because she has no friends to hang with. so, what does she decide? she goes to the local boulangerie, gets herself a cake, and a small bottle of wine. then she eats and drinks. sure, she starts to feel better...so she goes to the cinéma and watches little miss sunshine, in french, twice.

One redeeming event of this birthday- the new unknown english friends in france decide to take me out to dinner, to a weird café full of creepers where we ate warmed up pizza. quite gross.

that, my dears, is the saddest birthday ever.

the best birthday was a surprise one from Dana. but you didn't ask for two stories, so you only get one.

Dana’s Birthday Story:

My story dates back to about 1992 or 1993, it was Lauren Norman’s birthday party. The rad thing about Lauren’s parties was that her Dad baked money into the cake (wrapped in wax paper of course). This was very exciting for an 8 year old, if you never experienced it I’m so sorry.

Anyways, at that age kids have boundless energy and need to be distracted (plus we had been sugared-up with money infused cake). Lauren’s parents- being wise- had many games lined up for us; however, there is only one that I specifically remember: Memory. We were presented with a large tray full of “things”, given a time limit, and were told to try to memorize as many as we could. It was then taken away and we had to jot down as many answers as we could.

A fellow party guest and friend, Meghan Dunn, decided that rules were not her style.
While the rest of us were furiously scribbling down answers she told us she was going to the bathroom, instead, she snuck into the kitchen, peeked under the dish towel, and ran back and added to her list. My memory is faded but I believe she tried this brash manoeuvre several times and on the last assault was caught by Lauren's Mom, who scolded young Megan for cheating and disqualified her from the game.

Megan Dunn’s course in life was set; she went on to become a notorious cheater in the realm of games; both the board variety as well as the more physical. I can personally attest to the validity of this statement as I know for a fact that she cheated in Laundry room Hide-and-Go-Seek by peeking in a crack in the wall as well as tricking the opposing team into blurting out the answer in Cranium by telling them their time was up (then fighting vehemently that it was within the heckling parameters established at the games commencement).

I have every confidence that Meghan Dunn's cheating continues today, and I am hanging onto a childish hope that Lauren and Julia still find quarters and loonies in their birthday cakes.

Ellisa’s Birthday Facts:

My birthday fall on the 20th of April. This day has, throughout my life, brought about many interesting quelms, revelations and conversations. And upon researching this challenge, a few more. So here's what's rad about 4/20

570 - Birth of Prophet Muhammed, founder of Islam (d. 632) (date disputed)
1534 - Jacques Cartier begins his voyage, in which he will discover Canada and Labrador.
1808 - Birth of Napoleon III, Emperor of the French (d. 1873) First of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1889 - Birth of Adolf Hitler, leader of Nazi Germany (d. 1945) Second of only two men ever bent on taking over the world
1961 - The Bay of Pigs Invasion of US troops against Cuba.
1968 - Jean-Luc Bombardier, the nephew of snowmobile inventor Joseph Armand Bombardier, is the first Canadian to reach the North Pole.
1968 - Pierre Elliott Trudeau was sworn in as prime minister of Canada.
1972 - Birth of Carmen Electra, American actress. Former wife of my secret lover Dave Navarro
1976 - Birth of Joey Lawrence, American actor. This one is for Ben: "WHOA!"
1999 - The Columbine High School massacre leaves 15 people (including the two gunmen) dead and 24 wounded in Jefferson County, Colorado.

Last, but certianly not least, Salute to Marijuana!

Four-twenty - Although many diverse theories exist to explain the origin of the term, it is widely accepted that in 1971, a group of teenagers at San Rafael High School in San Rafael, California used to meet after school at 4:20 p.m. to smoke cannabis at the Louis Pasteur statue. The term became part of their group's salute, "420 Louis!", and became popularized in the late 1980s by fans of The Grateful Dead.

All in all April 20th shapes up to be a decent day. Whether you worship Islam, Canada, Neo-Nazism, marijuana or (by extension) Dave Navarro, 4/20's your day!

Gerry's Birthday Disaster!

This story - although now very comical - vividly details how tragic a birthday party can be. It all begins at my neighbours house for the celebration of his, lets say, 7th birthday. As far as birthday parties go, this one was a HIT! The turn-out was great, probably around 20 kids and the house was tastefully decorated with balloons, noise makers, and most importantly an enormous birthday cake in the shape of a ninja turtle. Traditionally, the birthday cake, adorned with candles, is presented to the birthday boy or girl followed by a clumsy, off key rendition of happy birthday. However, this party followed a more 'unconventional' plan. The beginning ran rather smoothly. The ninja turtle cake - I believe it was Raphael - was lit up by 8 candles (1 for good luck) and placed on the table. At this point the singing of happy birthday was fully underway but at the part around "happy birthday dear...." the song was interrupted with one of the children yelling FIRE!!

So it turns out that as the cake was being carried up the stairs from the basement where it was lit, one of those tacky 80's door curtains brushed on one of the candles and caught on fire. As with most 80's fabric, this curtain was made out of some synthetic material that quickly burst into flames. Once the rest of the children noticed the flames and the smoke, all hell broke loose. The mother immediately dialled 911 and began to round up the screaming children for evacuation while the father attempted to put out the fire himself. Long story short, the dad was taken to the hospital - and later treated for 2nd degree burns - the fire was put out and the children returned to their respective families. It was truly a celebration that I will never forget.

This Week's Challenge: Espionage

2007-09-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Jill:

okay, i'm sorry. please forgive. i have to break the rules a little bit this week. my espionage resulted in very little that was interesting. just some stupid wrestlers at sfu talking about how they gained 35 pounds over the summer. so, i'm going to relay an even that i happened upon, which wasn't really eavesdropping so much as coming into something a little too late.

codi and i were riding our bikes to the dairy queen on main street to meet some friends, and we had just passed sophia on 13th when we heard, "OH MY GOD! HE'S ACTUALLY DOING IT. AND I SAW HIS UNDERWEAR (giggle) I SAW CHRIS IN HIS UNDERWEAR!" so sure enough, we bike by and see our friend chris behind the dumpster in the dairy queen parking lot, pants laying on the ground (ew) with his foot in a pair of hot pink skinny jeans. and he looked high off his kite (turns out he's just going through a major existential crisis like marky mark in i <3>... he's young...). if these had been people i didn't know, it would have been about 100 times funnier, but really, i wasn't all that surprised. we did, however spend our dairy queen time sitting outside with chris wearing hot pink jeans, hot pink chucks, a red tshirt and lindsay's red cardigan which was about 3 times too small. and eating a cotton candy blizzard. right on.

PK:

"I feel like I'm studying to become a fucking priest!"
(This was an overheard conversation between Kevin and Dana)

Gerry:

"You know what... I never liked Tequila in Canada, but when I went to Mexico I loved Tequila. And the strangest thing, now that In Canada again.... I don't like Tequila anymore! Isn't that weird?" - Quote from girl in line at Vancouver Space Centre. To get the full effect of this beauty you have to read it 10x faster than normal with a pitch that rivals a dolphin's. I think it made my ears bleed.

Ellisa:

The only conversation that I recently overhead that caused me ears to perk is not challenge-esque. (It was a man recounting a story of how his daughter's boyfriend recently broke his spine and may be a quadriplegic.)

So I am instead, I will recount my seeings while walking to the Skytrain yesterday to pick Dana up.

Old skinny man wearing Birkenstocks, blue Speedo, coke-bottle glass and safari hat selling books titled "Wreck Beach"
Man dressed as Johnny Depp (aka pirate) minus the fun beads in the dreadlocks, sword, smell and disgustingly handsome face.
Old woman dressed in hot pink: hot pink trench coat, hot pink 80's high heels, hot pink umbrella, hot pink sun hat, hot pink lipstick (most likely on teeth as well), and a hot pink 80s vest with large fake gold buttons.
Portly woman with gelled hair (tight pony tail and cement curls), spray-on jeans, large white puffy jacket (zipped up even though it was warm enough for shorts yesterday), I am guessing fake nails, and the pinnacle of the outfit, which is what caught my wandering eye in the first place, her strawberry milkshake (or weak Pepto Bismo) colored lips prominently outlined with a thick chocolate (or poo) brown line. Nice. When did the early gangsta 90's come back?

**Note: E- I tried so hard to find a pictorial representation of the Pepto coloured lips with poo brown liner but was unsuccessful.

Dana:

The 20.

Every day the 20 brings new horrors to my life, and Thursday afternoon was specifically traumatic. I sat down in the front of the very packed bus after work, in the seats facing me were two construction workers, they were talking about the upcoming Canucks season, and were trying to pull me into their conversation.

One of the men decided to tell me about how he screwed up his finger when he was interrupted by a small Asian woman who told him that he should get up and give an another older Asian woman his seat. He proceeded to tell the woman to “FUCK OFF” and questioned her as to why she only chastised him when nobody else had offered either. The woman was taken aback, as was I, she stammered that he should know better, the older Asian woman was also embarrassed by the display and assured the younger lady that she didn’t need a seat.

Mouth agape, my neck craned upward, I, by this point, was horribly mortified by the man’s behaviour and concerned that those around me would assume I was associated with these guys who had acted like such buffoons. I took my ipod and book out of my bag and retreated to the safety of antisocial anonymity.

Ben:

This is the senario:

This girl is talking with her chick friend while holding both a copy of that days Metro and one of 24 (as if those two actually have any information in them that differs). Her friend says "wow, you read sure read alot of papers.." and the girl responds "Yeah, well you know I think it is important to stay informed, I read both of these everyday."

Now I am not going to go into how incorrect this statement is, but out of curiosity I take a glance at what exactly this chick is reading about in these two astounding pieces of literature, and she has both of them open to the section on the endevours of people in hollywood. Unbelieveable.

Top 5 Back to School Songs

2007-09-07T15:38:00.000-07:00

Jill’s List:

5. "to sir with love" - originally preformed by lulu, in the film "to sir with love" starring sidney poitier.

It's kind of like dangerous minds, but it takes place in london... in the 60s. the tagline for the movie was "a story as fresh as the girls in their minis. . .and as tough as the kids from london's east end!" anyways, lulu sings it on their last day of school. i prefer al green's version, though.

4. "cedar point '76" - the dirtbombs.

i think this song is actually about a dude macking on a chick playing pinball in an arcade. i include it though, because the title sounds like a grad class, and the arcade reference reminds me of ferris beuller's day off, when rooney thinks he sees ferris in the arcade, but it's actually a girl and she spits her coke all over his face. something tells me that because the guy who played rooney was busted for kiddie porn a few years ago, he probably didn't mind getting sprayed by a young girl.

3. "slow ride" - foghat. best song from the best movie ever made about school. ever. dazed and confused.

2. " sukie in the graveyard" - belle and sebastian.

because of this whole stanza:

Sukie was a kid, she liked to hang out at the art school

She didn't enrol, but she wiped the floor with all the arseholes

She took a bijou flat with the fraternity cat

She hid inside the attic of the sculpture building

She had a slut slave and his name was Dave

She said 'Be my photo bitch and I'll make you rich'

He didn't believe her but the boy revered her

He got her meals and he got her a bed

He watched behind the screen and she started to undress

He never got far

Just lookin' and playing guitar

1. and my number one all time desert island song about school is: "making time" - the creation.

this is the song playing in rushmore when we get the rundown on all of max's extracurricular activities.

there, i'm done. sorry, that's long. i really don't want to do my readings.

Ellisa’s List:

1. "Back to school. -Billy Madison

Back to school, Back to school,

To prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight.

Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school.Back to school.

Well, here goes nothing.

2. Breakfast Club Theme. Perfect 80s. Enough said.

Wikipedia fact: "In addition, its theme song titled " Don't You (Forget About Me)", performed by Simple Minds, reached #1 in the U.S. billboards in 1985 and has since then become a symbol of teen films, teen love and teen feelings."

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3. I Won't Back Down ~ Tom Petty

This song was the theme to my Valedictorian video address. Completely and utterly precious to me. Unlike some, high school was a phenomenal time in my life. I love every minute of it. Being valedictorian was such an honour. The prestige and glamour still makes my stomach turn when I think about it.

4. Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65

This song will forever remind me of my grade 9 dance. At this time, Jayce, Tina and I all had a crush on the same guy, Ryan G------. He was tall, silent and incredibly sexy (to 15 year olds). This song had just come out, and the controversy surrounding what was being said in the song was surging. Ryan and I danced together to this song. Ahh, heart melting. He ended up dating Jayce and being a strange boyfriend. Tina and I: "Thank GOD we didn't go out with him. Yea Jayce; taking one for the team."

.
Side note: Ryan still lives in Kelowna. I saw him this summer when I went home and his biggest news of the summer was his 5 year anniversary at Rona (the home improvement store). I think he is a department manager (or maybe just an assistant department manager). Regardless, he is a REAL winner! "I'm blue and I'm in need of a guy,""I'm blue, if I were green, I would die""I'm blue, I will bleed I will die""I'm blue I need a man in my life""I'm blue, n' I believe I will die"

5. Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer Oh yea, you know it, She's All That. The movie that made every teenage girl swoon over Fred Prince Jr. and believe once again in Cinderella stories. I was always waiting for the day... Here is a nice montage video that someone made and then posted on YouTube. Description: "A video I made about Laney and Zack from the movie "She's all that"." How sweet; a Laney and Zack fan. Awww...(barf in mouth)

Prokopie’s List:

5. Principal's Office - Young MC
4. Jeremy - Pearl Jam
3. Teachers - Daft Punk
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Part II - Pink Floyd
1. Eric Prydz - Call On Me
I don't know if this is bending the rules or not... the video is about school: dance school. May be the best music video ever made.

So I went to check out the supposed "best music video ever made" and it is restricted, PK! -You PERV!!

Ben’s List:

1. Money- Pink Floyd
2. Smells like teen spirit- Nirvana
3. No Sleep- Sam Roberts
4. Where is my mind- The Pixies
5. Wahoo, alright, yeah, uh huh- The Rapture

Dana’s List:

5.Tequila –Grade 8 band – I played the trumpet (poorly I might add)

4.Tuesdays Gone – Lynyrd Skynyrd – I first fell in love with this song in one of my all time favourite movies Dazed and Confused, which just happens to take place on the last day of school. To me the song has always had an air of dénouement- wrapping up of things and closure. I read that Tuesday is the name of a girl who ran off -an unrequited love - this furthers my resolve to have an impassioned and short lived romance with a musician. My favourite line is "Train roll on, on down the line"

3. It's like that - Run DMC – I had a boyfriend that was obsessed with this song plus it was a staple at school dances.

2. Crazy – Aerosmith – One of my all time favourite music videos. I am not sure how old I was but I thought that Alicia Silverstone and Liv Tyler were maybe the coolest girls ever, sneaking out of school, breaking boys’ hearts and running away to live wild and free.

1. Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack – Featuring: The Cardigans, Garbage, Everclear, and Radiohead, among others. I cannot pick a song off this album the entire thing was pivotal to my development. This encapsulates my high school years.

***Honorable mention: Everybody Wants Something - The Zit Remedy.... Oh Joey Jeremiah (sigh). I cant remember who I was talking to about this the other day but seriously they had a band for like 4 years and that was their only song.

Gerry's List:

1. “Teenage Dirtbag” – Wheatus -Because I was one

2. “Another Brick in the Wall” – Pink Floyd -Now that I have officially started my PhD… I’m starting to think that we actually do need education.
.

3. “Low Rider” – War - Picture this… me on the first day of school pulling up in my 1985 Camero blasting this song out of a not so hot sound system.

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4. “TLC” – Pretty - With the pressures of a new year… sometimes you just need to feel pretty

5. “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School” – The Ramones (Soundtrack from the Original Motion Picture “Rock ‘n’ Roll High School, circa 1979)

Ciscal and Ebert provide this brief synopsis…. A group of rock-music-loving students, with the help of the Ramones, take over their school to combat its newly installed oppressive administration. And people were shocked to hear that it didn’t win best picture.

Brad's List: The songs that will always remind me of school:

1. Hot Cross Buns - This is the first (and the last) song I was ever taught to play on the alto saxophone. I screwed it up so bad, that the teacher made me clean instruments for the rest of the year.

2. Magic School Bus Theme - This show was always the bane of my existence, my brother loved it, and somehow at 10 years old I was aware of the obvious attempt at racial unity (one asian, one mexican, one nerd, and so on). Plus that crazy teacher who took the kids into people's intestines, and flew them around in a shitty old bus....at my school she would have been required to take "mental leave".

3. Pip Pip Cheerio - As a member of the"chorus" for our 3rd grade production of the musical "Oliver", I will never forget rehearsing this song, and then how fantastic we sounded on performance night....I was so into it, I really thought I was a homeless 8 year old pickpocket being raised by a scary bearded hobo in a packrat community.

4. Wheels on the Bus - Can't leave this one out. I always associate this song with a shotgun aimed at whoever is singing it.

5. Hand In My Pocket - We thought we were so cool singing Alanis Morrisette on top of the monkey bars at lunch hour. We all blushed when the line about "Chicken shit" came.

2007-09-06T21:02:00.000-07:00

One of the many fantabulous things that resulted from Bumbershoot

A detailed recount by Bradley of the fun that was had at Bumbershoot

The Hemingway Challenge

2007-08-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

Earnest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in six words. Rumor has it that Hemingway regarded it as his greatest work:

For sale: baby shoes, never used.

Here are our 6 word stories, see if you can guess the author of each I will post the answers at a later date.

Participants: Bradley, Jenn, Ellisa, Gerry, Prokopipants, our very own Ange Feehan and myself X2.

Single white female. 46. Seeking intimacy.

Mouths agape, their necks craned upward.

He came, she stared. Stoic. Again.

I wish this challenge didn't suck.

She dumped him. He stalked her.

Errant smile, sly retort, tussled sheets.

Lost in hurricane: spectacles, kitten, toupee.

My dress! My shoes! ...My Son?

A Junktastic Ideology - Part 1

2007-08-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

I was reading a story on CBC today that caught my fancy - mostly because I consider myself to be somewhat of a "Thrift" shopper. The article, Worshipping at the altar of Cheap, by Heather Mallick, surrounds how our society has become obsessed with Cheap and how quantity has definately taken presidence over quality.

In Canada's cities, homeowners passively enriched by exploding house prices still go to Costco and Wal-Mart for bulk goods while complaining about property tax increases. They impoverish the lives of others, destroy local shops and live with housefuls of shoddy goods because they are worshipping that Canadian idol, the Cheap god.

And by the way, the problem isn't plastic bags. The problem is that plastic bags are free. If they cost $5 each, trust me, people would pull them out of tree branches and hoick them out of the mouths of poor strangling fish already marinated in mercury. They'd probably frame them.

Heather Mallick quoted a "product-drunk" culture and a "junktastic ideology" from Mark Mumford, who had much to say...

We are not the slightest bit trained to care about waste, excess, the mindless accumulation of needless things. The notion of simplifying, of saying no, of intentionally and mindfully choosing to keep ourselves free of all the superfluous crap that's hurled at us by a product-drunk culture is so far from our junktastic ideology it is, as evidenced by my cashier's baffled reaction, nearly unthinkable.

Free plane ticket! Free iPod! Free colonoscopy! Free tank of gas! Free extra set of cheap useless knives when you buy the two other sets of cheap useless knives! Free supersizing of your Coke! Free upgrade to premium membership when you commit to a 10-year contract! Pay no money whatsoever! Seriously! No money at all! All we ask in return: countless, endless chunks of your time, your brain, your intelligence, your health, your soul, your respect for nature, just a little bit of your ability to think and feel and care about the world. Come on now, is that too much to ask?

Link to the article: Totally Free! Click Here Now!

My thoughts on these articles are still being formulated....

monkey and peas

2007-08-30T14:20:00.000-07:00

A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up and spilt twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty and spilt them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away.

-Fables, Leo Tolstoy

Silver Lining ~ Rilo Kiley

2007-08-27T16:11:00.000-07:00

My latest obsession:

Also, "Moneymaker"- actually the entire album Under the Blacklight is rad.

Celebrity Look-A-Like

2007-08-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

This Week's Challenge: Celebrity Look-A-Likes

Submit a pic of yourself or someone else as they resemble a celebrity:

Gerr-man

Prokopipants:

Dana:

Ellisa:

Bradley:

Ellisa's procrastination that was the inspiration for This Week's Challenge:

Benji:

Local Art

2007-08-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

A great piece done by an anonymous local artist:

Jesus is my homeboy

2007-08-20T16:22:00.000-07:00

My friend wrote me an email with some questionable content and at the end of it she inserted: "I am going straight to Hell". I thought about our cavalier use of this phrase; however, collectively (I dare say), we believe that religious higher powers are as legitimate as the Ab Tronic 5000.

I wonder why it is that upon a morally questionable action or thought we always revert back to the old standby of damnation for eternity. Does this occur because from early on we are conditioned to equate this life’s no-nos with worse consequences in the supposed spiritual world? Reflecting further, does that mean that we are tenaciously clinging to a belief in hell because we so desperately want to believe that there is something more after our hearts stop pumping? And, because on some unconscious level we want some form of heaven to exist, if so facto we must believe in Hell? Or, is it just a moral pulse check, where we pause and evaluate our behaviour and deem it to be unsatisfactory against the go-to scale that Jesus, or God, or whoever, created; doing so without buying in to the superstitious mumbo jumbo?

Now that I have written a paragraph about religion every ounce of me is screaming to highlight and delete before some line is crossed. Although, I don’t really care about slighting someone’s beliefs; but rather, I feel ill informed on the subject as: A. I have never read the Bible and B. I stopped going to church as soon as it was no longer appropriate for me to make Jesus crafts in Sunday school.

Anyways, no matter if you believe or don’t, you really have to hand it to some of these quips for their staying power. It is certainly not uncommon in a moment of fury for the phrase, "What the Hell?" to escape my lips. This just a more imposing way of inquiring: "Why is this occurring?" Why does Hell carry such risqué innuendo?

Hell in a handbasket, does anyone know the origin to this phrase? I just looked it up – and actually: No, nobody knows. Where does one purchase this alleged handbasket? And, how does one travel to hell in it... it must be an awfully large basket, maybe it is one of those magical carpet bags like Mary Poppins totes -only made of asbestos so that it doesn’t burn up on contact in the fiery depths.

Why are we still using these phrases? Do they carry extra weight because they have a religious allusion and are therefore naughty? Or, have we become so flippant with these ideas that they have become devoid of meaning, such as the words gay and retard?

Religion has lodged itself in our everyday vernacular but is this symptomatic of the power it wields or the lack thereof?

I was thinking about Jesus the other day- how even if he did exist, how ridiculous it is to believe that he is some sort of deity, he is probably just some guy who was trying to get everyone to be nicer to each other. Actually, Erik Davis relates in the book, Techgnosis, that there were lots of guys spouting Jesus like material at that time... maybe he was just the one who hit it big. That's a pretty phenomenal idea, imagine if he was just some regular dude who wanted his voice heard and the message came out horribly warped like some perverse game of telephone.

You know the question: If you could have a conversation with one person living or dead, who would it be? Jesus would definately make my top 5.

The Way I See It

2007-08-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

The Way I See It: No. 23

Chances are you are scared of fictions.

Chances are you are only fleetingly happy.

Chances are you know much less than you think you do.

Chances are you feel a little guilty.

Chances are you want people to lie to you.

Perhaps the answer lies on the side of a coffee cup.

You are lost.

— David Cross, Comedian

Bradley's Way of Seeing It:

We are consumed by choices

Some easy, some evil

As the world crumbles, we ask ourselves;

Selfishness or Selflessness

Charity or Indulgence

Vice or Virtue

Paper or Plastic

In the end who cares?

Live the day for you…

And Laugh.

Dana's Way of Seeing It:

The Eskimos have many words for snow.

Acquire, purchase, buy, pick up, sales receipt, grab, charge, come by, haggle, get a hold of, tab, realize, redeem, secure, lay away, take, bill, gain, procure, credit card, retrieve, obtain, bargain, sale, closeout, proof of purchase, cheque, attain,

SHOP.

I can see where North American's priorities lie.

This Week's Challenge: FONTS!

2007-07-30T15:49:00.000-07:00

In one minute, without cheating, write down as many different Fonts as you can think of.

Gerry = 8
Ben = 10
Tam = 4
Ellisa = 17
Dana = 14

This Week's Challenge: Slogans for Gold Bond

2007-07-27T15:43:00.000-07:00

Existing Slogans applied to:
Gold Bond Medicated Powder

Ben’s List:

1. Gets odours out. (Oust air spray)

2. Just do it. (Nike)

3. Is it in you? (Gatorade)

4. For all you do, this buds for you. (Budweiser)

5. Tastes awful. But it works. (I’m sure Gold Bond would taste bad-Buckley's)

Dana’s List

5. Made from the best stuff on earth (Snapple)
4. Don’t leave home without it (American Express)
3. The best part of waking up (Foldgers)
2. Kills Bugs Dead (Raid)
1. Think outside the bun--ions (Taco Bell)

Gerry’s List

1. When the itch's a bitch... use Gold Bond Medicated Powder.
2. Gold Bond... not recommended for people under 65.
3. Gold Bond... you don't know what’s in it... and neither do we!
4. If you’re feeling wet and cold... keep out the mould... use Gold Bond Medicated Powder! - (I'm making the assumption here that the product in question is actually used for overly moist areas... all I know is that a lot of old people generally have crevices that require Gold Bond treatment... working in a hospital unfortunately teaches you these things)
5. Gold Bond.... it feels good on your balls.

Tamara’s List

5. It's so easy to use no wonder it's number one (AOL) 4. Because I'm worth it (L'Oreal) 3. Touching is good. (Nintendo DS) 2. Let your fingers do the walking (Yellow Pages) 1. The freshmaker! (Mentos)

Tracey’s List

1) Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Gold Bond.
2) Shouldn't your baby be a Gold Bond baby?
3) Gold Bond: Over 3 Billion Served.
4) Gold Bond: That was Easy!
5) Silly Rabbit, Gold Bond is for kids!

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

2007-07-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, delivered at Stanford University. Here is the link to the entire speach. Enjoy.

This Week's Challenge: What is this man thinking?

2007-07-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

This Week's Challenge:

What is this man thinking?

"Damn this iches... must have been that hitch-hiker I picked up the other day. Last time I do anyone else a favor."-

in Quagmire voice

(Benji)

“Ya'll know me still the same ol' G- But I been low key, Hated on by most these niggas Wit no cheese, no deals and no G's, no wheels and no keys, No boats, no snowmobiles and no ski's” (Dana)

"If you only knew what was going on underneath my petticoat" (B-Rad)

"Once again, nobody told me that it was picture day today.... what a bunch of commi bastards!" (Gerry)

Okay so, while sitting here, waiting for my portrait...run through tomorrow's speech one more time..."This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Listen to their souls, men. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other of not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this game like men." Using the stand-by good versus evil and historical consequences of the racial segregation horrors to symbolize our plight is genius, PURE GENIUS!

(Big E)

Top 5 Euphemisms for Sex at the Stampede

2007-07-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

Top 5 Euphemisms for Sex overheard at the Calgary Stampede

Ellisa -In no particular order...

5. I was riding her so hard last night that she got some real saddle burn between those milky inner thighs.
4. I roped those calves up so tight I could toss her anyway I wanted.
3. I rode him like all stallions need to be; hard, stern and unrelenting. I broke him in!
2. I was bucked off a real bull last night. He tossed me around like I was a rag doll
1. That pony did not know what hit her last night. I Brokeback Mounted her from dusk 'til dawn.

Gerry:

5. Go Brokeback (in ref. to gay sex only)
4. Eat the meat (AAA Alberta beef)
3. Rock the ranch
2. Drill for oil
1. Ride my Pony

Dana:

5. The horizontal two-step
4. I wouldn’t mind a little cowpoke
3. Once I got her out of ‘them Wranglers it was Fergalishous – proving the universality of this term
2. Beef: It’s what’s for dinner!
1. I Dwight Yokeled her

Kevin:

5. slap my reins and tie me with a lasso, Im your wild thing tonight!
4. you want to pet my steed?
3. You want to disappear to our own rodeo?
2. Don't pull my reins unless you're on my saddle.
1. Buck me like a bronco!

The new royalty has arrived

2007-07-13T14:34:00.000-07:00

It starts. We are sitting on the edge of a media torrent that will parallel this spring’s Anna Nicole Smith debacle and we don’t even realise it. With Brad Pitt’s split from the almost perfect Jennifer Aniston and hook up with Do Gooder (therefore boring) Angelina Jolie, the throne of king and Queen of Hollywood has been abdicated. Luckily, the British X-popstar and handsome footballer have Touched down in LA to fill the bronzed god/anorexic and talentless celebrity void (this story was featured in the sports section on CBC this morning).

So be prepared for the onslaught of paparazzi stalking and aggravatingly banal coverage of their day to day lives, in all shitty dailies, and heinous entertainment programs. Don’t do it Rick the Temp, you used to be cool- am dating myself by alluding to the fact that I was around when Rick was just a temp at Much Music, before he got too old and had to take his black painted fingernails to Extra Canadian addition? (Shudder) Sidebar- I don’t have cable but with the assistance of bunny ears can receive 4 channels, I don’t understand how one of those terrible shows is always on, who is watching this crap? I can think of 1 million things I would rather do, including: testing all the shampoo in my shower to see which ones are actually tear free.

Anyways, back to Victoria Beckham or should I call her Posh Spice.... Duhh Dun Dhunnnn.... that's right my friends, most of us knew her as the “fashionable” aka least talented Spice Girl... Does anyone else find irony in the fact that she was supposed to be “posh” in a pop group that was manufactured; where, I am fairly certain, she didn’t get to make her own fashion choices? What really surprises me however, is that she has really stuck with it- if I was a not so integral part of a cultural phenomenon that had run its course, I would put as much distance between myself and that persona as possible; however, Posh took it the opposite direction and kicked it up about 8 notches. There is nothing that makes me more agitated than our society worshiping a celebrity that has absolutely no valid claim to fame (Paris Hilton). At least David Beckham has a skill -what is Victoria’s: sitting still for hair and makeup?

Am I the only one surprised at their move to LA? I would like to know the strategy behind this manoeuvre. I always thought that Britain had an elitist culture industry, isn’t Hollywood a step down?

Possible reasons for moving: Money? I can’t see it being that I’m sure they already swim in a pool of gold coins like Uncle Scrooge. Soccer? Why would you move from Europe where fans form gangs they are so obsessive to a country where nobody cares about your sport? So, by process of elimination the only other answer is: Prestige- if you can call having the minute details of your life snooped at by a population that believes CSI to be credible and UFC to be a sport. David and Victoria want to be the world’s hottest couple and they just can’t get there while trapped on that little island. Ouch England: do you realise how big a slight that is? I guess the sun does set on the English Empire after all.

So, I wonder how long until I barf a little in my own mouth as a result of the excessive media coverage- a few weeks, a month? I guess it isn’t all bad, I am sure we will all welcome the break from Lindsay Lohan’s party girl debauchery and Paris Hilton’s fatuous behaviour and vapid demeanour.

T-Shirts make me Happy

2007-07-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was reunited with my all time favourite T-shirt: the Matt Costa. I experienced a rush of euphoria as I held it up to myself and a flood of warm memories washed over me. In my elation I shouted down the hall at Ellisa, “Isn’t it so beautiful?” to which she replied, “It’s just a t-shirt”.

What is it about a good t-shirt?

I realised that I belong to a very small sect of society; some people love their lulu lemon, some love their hoodies, I love my t-shirts. And I am not alone; I know there are certain ones of you out there that can identify with me. I have run into such lovers over the years but this bond we share seems to be unspoken.

One such person is my childhood friend, Chris Boultbee - if you ever get the chance to meet this elusive character consider yourself to be among the privileged few. Boultbee is one of those people that enters your life and is truly an experience to meet even if it’s only a fleeting visit. Last summer, the Delta House was blessed by the Boultbee charm as he shocked Tracey’s Grandparents when he turned up on our deck (hair a mop of blond jejune curls and missing a tooth).

I remember us all hanging out as we would, for long hours on the deck, beyond the last burst of red as the sun sunk below the skyline. I remember the laughter, the stories, the cocktails, the Rolling Stones, mostly the times between friends. I also remember Boultbee, who has no permanent address, who likes wrestling with dogs and named his cat Trogdor, saying toTracey with 100% sincerity, “I like your t-shirt”. I never knew that Boultbee noticed things like fashion on girls and I still don’t think he does, rather I think that he can enjoy the simplicity of a good t-shirt. And it is a good one - her canary yellow Diet 7up t-shirt that she spent way too much on but has paid itself of exponentially- a true t-shirt lover knows it is always worth it.

My second story involves my friend Brett. I am unable to describe Brett in a few sentences so those that know him know his practicality and anal retentiveness in almost all areas of life. The t-shirt category is no different except that Brett refuses to wear t-shirts from stores. It must have been after grade twelve when Bretty graduated from the waffle shirt to the t-shirt, and we were all glad to see some sort of print on his muscular (haha) frame. The great aspect to his t-shirts is that they are usually found or stolen. When I think of Brett I can only picture him in one of 3 shirts, the Hog Farmer shirt which I think he stole from someone, the Lions Head shirt that he got from his local pub and his newest and heaviest in rotation: the Beaverdell shirt, which he traded the t-shirt of his back (belonging to our friend Cam) to a vagabond who likely hadn’t washed in weeks, mid bar. This is classic behaviour of a t-shirt lover, trading your friends t-shirt off your back for a good one that likely has its own ecosystem living in it.

I got to thinking about fashion and clothing and appearances and all that that entails. I thought about how when I see someone with a good t-shirt like: Wax on Wax off or Science Rules! it puts a smile on my face. I realised that to some it doesn’t matter what you display on your chest, but to others, your careful selection can mean an instant camaraderie (Example: the Unsolved Mysteries t-shirt from a few weeks ago and anyone wearing a CBC t-shirt). I used to have this little boy’s t-shirt that announced, “Free Hugs” it had a bear on it with outstretched arms, then I grew boobs and could no longer wear it, yet I still think about it and how it always got a reaction. First impressions matter, and the messages you wear do make an impact.

Oh the power of a clever tee!

So, to all of you that have never given it a thought, every time you put on an American Eagle shirt that boasts: "Costa Rica" remember that what you are wearing is delivering a message. Do you really want someone to ask you about your trip to Costa Rica and have to respond that you actually picked it up at the mall? Did Roxy or Quicksilver ever pay you to advertise for them? Don’t let them ride your coattails of coolness. Often the best t-shirts are found when scouring the dense underbrush of thrift stores. These gems were originally worn in a different capacity and take on new meaning a decade or so later... plus everything is exponentially cooler when it costs a dollar-that’s a fact, don’t argue it’s science.

Our society is superficial and we will always be judged, I implore you not to be defined by what you wear but rather define yourself in your own terms and dress accordingly. So, be clever, be original and have a goal of making someone smile.

Here is a site for the T-shirt lover. Threadless

Top 5 Favourite Alcoholic Beverages

2007-06-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

Ben’s List

5. Mojito
4. Really cold Beer (mostly Budweiser/Kokanee)
3. CC and G
2. Rum or whiskey and Coke with lime (the classic)
1. Jager-Bombs!!!

Dana’s List

5. Corona with a lime – beer should be very cold day should be very hot
4. Sangria – lots of oranges, pineapple, grapes and strawberries, fruit is fun!
3. Tequilla – shot of choice, mainly because it is followed by a lime
2. Red Wine – Copious amounts accompanied by the Office- especially good out of the Bordeaux glasses
1. Gin and Tonic extra lime

Tracey’s List

5) Sex on the beach - this is an honourable mention, really. In honour of all the wicked hangovers Dana had to endure first year due to our copious consumption of this drink.

4) Ellisa's rum hot chocolate - absolutely orgasmic.

3) Gin and tonic - the good old standby. Perfect for "after work" (leading to drinking all night) cocktails.

2) Jager bombs - always brings it up a notch. Always.

1) Red Wine - No question. My excessive love for red wine becomes obvious in my tendency to vomit after casually hanging out with friends and a "glass" of wine. Or perhaps that shows my lack of self control. who knows.

Tamara’s List

5. Keg party beer - so disgusting yet strangely homey. Perhaps due to all of the nights in 1st/2nd/3rd/4th year that I spent throwing this stuff up.

4. Homemade cosmopolitans - memories of my first trip to Vancouver - Ang begging to be let into the bar, Dana locking herself in the bathroom.

3. Corona - Despite the questionable pee/ beer ratio, this beer makes me feel like Tiajuana. Which is a good thing. I love Mexico.

2. Sangria - I love Mexico. And my birthday Sangria set. And everything to do with wine. "What's the best kind of drink?" "A PITCHER of drinks!"

1. Killer Kool-Aid. At the beach. In a tanker. With a glow straw. The entire summer after first year was spent with one of these in my hand. It was trashy, yet beautiful in it's own neon way.

Ange’s List

5. Vodka cran
4. Other blender drinks
3. Margaritas
2. Red Wine
1. Gin and soda
I'm not that peticular though, basically I just like to drink.

Gerry’s List

5) Lemoncello - normally a refreshing Italian liquor which is sipped on and served ice cold... however, in 1st year University I didn't understand the concept of sip and pounded back an entire 26er in one evening. Needless to say I woke up upside down hanging off the edge of my bed with no memory of the night before. I've yet to touch the stuff since then.

4) Vodka and water - after quitting my job at the Keg (which was way overdue) my buddies decided to take me out for drinks. I chose vodka and water. The problem started when the other bartenders I was working with made my drinks. These vodka and waters consisted of 3/4 vodka and 1/4 water. My night finished off with me making out with the bosses cousin, biking home through busy traffic, passing out in my bathroom and smashing my head on the floor and bleeding all over my bed.

3) Mojitos - had the ones at Havana’s and liked them a lot.

2) Red Wine - a classic

1) Beer - No matter where you are in the world its the best drink to have on a hot summers day!!!!

Jack White is cool personified.

2007-06-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

What is Black and White and Red all over?

So is it possible to have an equal crush on both Jack and Meg White? Because I seriously do. I thought I was more into Jack but then Meg got up to the mic and belted out In the Cold Cold Night, a throaty ballad and I was enraptured. (If you look up enraptured on dictionary.com the sample sentence is: We were enraptured by her singing. No Joke) She has this Deep South beauty to her, she reminds me of a magnolia with her creamy skin and careless dark tresses. I think what really intrigues me is how she exudes this sensation of cool complacence, a calm that has almost a peaceful effect- which is a strange juxtaposition at a concert with such energy.

And Jack. Wow. I think what truly gets me is passion; it doesn’t matter what it is, if you love doing it and do it with everything you have it drives me crazy. To see him toss an errant smile out into the crowd and stop mid-lyric just to say “Hey” to someone- you can tell he is loving it. To feel the energy of a true performer, who wants to be there more than you do, and who has the power to stir a mass in such a positive way is a rare experience. Actually being present for the riff from Seven Nation Army was an inexplicably monumental sensation. He is on another level, a level of genius; which he allows you a glimpse of, fleetingly, through his artistic creativity and vision.

The events that lead up to this phenom unfolded in a somewhat cosmic way. It was if they were strategically manoeuvred around the White Stripes.

Sunday morning: I am awoken by pounding rain on my window. All day the weather flirts with the possibility of clearing up but remains cantankerous.

Sunday afternoon: We depart for the concert armed with garbage bags as extra rain protection. By the time we reach the skytrian my shoes and jeans are already soaked from the torrential downpour. We are all grouchy… and doubting the worth of the concert in regards to our water laden trek. We arrive at Deer Lake Park, the line to enter the concert is all the way down to the road … we wait and wait … it rains and rains.

We are told that umbrellas are not permitted in the venue and must be left outside. Someone has abandoned their umbrella in the crotch of a very moist and gnarled tree. Tracey and I decide to wedge her umbrella as well as another that we find into various cavities, creating a real life Umbrella Tree.

After an hour and a half we gain entry. The clouds crack open and roll away; the sun, held at a distance all day, makes a much appreciated appearance. There is an air of tension hanging over the concert grounds, it feels like the buzz of electricity - but sans electricity, the buzz is being created by fervent people.

Despite the rain people have come in White Stripes appropriate dress, including men’s red western wear complete with white tassel fringe and girls in big floppy red and white sun hats. I am disappointed that I dressed for rain instead of coolness…. I did roll with red and white papers however.

So Jack and Meg appear and the crowd immediately compresses into about half the size and cacophonous cheering erupts from everywhere. The intensity level is apparent right from the start and our soggy feet are a distant memory. Icky Thump comes up and the crowd goes crazy for it and Jack is loving the reaction. My friend leans over to me and says, “This is already worth it and it is only the third song!” The crowd is regaled by the line up both new and old. Jolene is sung with such tortured intensity, I am sure Dolly would be proud; and from the new album, I’m Slowly Turning into You demanded veneration. Hotel Yorba is fun and playful and on numerous occasions we take part in massive sing-a-longs.

As each songs ends we stand posed like children, waiting, eyes wide and attention focused on what’s coming next. It is not just about the music, it is also about the spectacle. Every detail contributes to the story; every element builds towards the White Stripes experience. The duo performed in front of an ardent red wall and as the night progresses their daunting black shadows were cast upon it. Their pseudo brother/sister relationship left spectators pondering, especially as Jack lovingly glances towards Meg and sings to her throughout the concert. We are allowed a glimpse of the rocker world when the lights directed over the crowd are switched on bathing us in a hot red glow. It is almost like we are in a time warp, but what era I can’t pin down.

They end and it feels like they have just started, I am not sure if this is some weird aspect of the show or if they are actually done. The masses holler and cheer for their return, and our wishes are granted. They launch into Seven Nation Army which brings new life to the already epic concert.

Jack White is cool personified.

The climax, for me, was when I was pleasantly blind sighted by We’re Going To Be Friends. I felt like I was about four years old and had been wrapped up in a blanket made of sunshine and love. Is that possible? How can you make another human being feel that way through music? It was the most pure and innocent … winsome even, musical moment of my life. So, for that especially I thank the White Stripes, what an incredible show. I feel so fortunate to have witnessed another’s genius and been moved accordingly. I am so happy that Vancouver was the first stop of the tour, having no knowledge of what was coming made it all the more intense.

Top 5 Names You Would Not Give to Your Children

2007-06-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

Tamara’s List

5. Gertrude (shudder)
4. Jorge - pronounced the Spanish way
3. Billy
2. Anything starting in La (LaTisha, LaShonda, etc.)
1. Eunice

Ellisa’s List

5. Junior. There is a student in my tutorial with this name. How evil are his parents? Forever relegating him to a status of inferiority. I bet that this kid will forever fall into paternalistic relationships.

4. Amanda. Ugh, Amanda McDonald; this bitch from elementary school. She would cry in class, steal my hook (oh yea, you all know. Hook spots are coveted) and one time told the teacher I was cheating on a spelling test, when in fact, I had not. Here's what happened: I had been practicing the spelling of the words beforehand on my hand. But when it came time to write the test, I didn't look at my hand. Well, Amanda and her big fat mouth told Ms. Feth that I had cheated, who in turn called my mother to break the news. When my mom confronted me, I was so upset to have been accused of this atrocity that I balled, not cried, balled. So much so, I remember my brother and the pets crowding around me with looks of concern on their faces. Fuck I hated Amanda.

3. Justin. Really, who does not know a Justin that they just don't like? The name even gets caught in your mouth; abrasive and blunt. I went to school with a plethora of Justins. Man, the 80s, full of Justins, Jennifers, Jonathans, Jessicas and Jasons. Seriously.

2. Erma and Elma. My two grandmothers. These poor women, what ugly names! How do you overcome that? Upon hearing it you can't help but cringe a little. First impressions all out the window. Rough. All I can say is, THANK GOD my mother is not a traditionalist, because my life would have been shitty. Who goes out of their way for an Erma or Elma? For pity, yes, but nothing else.

1. Michael Bolton.

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Samir Na-gheen-an-a-jar. Nagheenanajar.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Brad’s List

5. Muffy ***Dana's Note: My name for the first two years of my life was Muffy-short for Muffin, and when I am reintroduced to old friends of my parents they often exclaim "So this is Muffy all grown up!!"
4. Dick
3. Bambi
2. Oprah
1. Adolph Hitler

Dana’s List

5. Alfred- My fathers middle name and the creepy looking guy in the game Guess Who
4. Christ
3. Moses
2. Jehovah – possibly the ugliest on top of the cult affiliation
1. Jesus

Ben’s List

5. Harmony (or some stupid hippie name like that).
4. Moe
3. Edna (terrible)
2. Damien (not since the omen)
1. Jesus (pronounced Hey-zeus apparently)

Ange's List

5. Bermuta Treeagle
4. Sigfreed

3. Gagmond (or whatever that guy Brad knows is named, i'm thinking lord of the rings but its not coming to me)

2. Dontario (Dan claims that he has actually heard this)
1. Perogee Weber (this is a long running joke between us)

What Does Green Really Mean?

2007-06-17T17:48:00.000-07:00

What does Green really mean? Our country cheered as the recently dubbed, "Green Giant" Arnold Schwarzenegger, took a trek across Canada last week. I was appalled that we, as Canadians, were ecstatic when faced with the opportunity to hobnob with a true celebrity. The Terminator comes to town and we are reduced to screaming teenage girls watching the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show.

I expected more from Canada- why are we perpetuating this America's lapdog behaviour? Our relationship is reminiscent of a shotgun toting hick who returns from the town bar, highly inebriated who boots his dog as it greets him, tail-wagging at the door. My point is that Arnold's visit was the top news story each day last week as he worked his way across this country. This is a man who frequently uses, "I'll Be Back" in his political addresses I'm sorry but are we living in a futuristic movie where robots have taken over?... because I am starting to believe this is a reality that I can more easily accept. Movie cliché's have no place in politics; this is real life, we are real people and have real problems. It is not time for make-believe.

Or is it?

"Technology will save us." This statement became his visit's second contentious issue for me. Technology will save us - because in practice this solution has been working really well. Isn't the very problem he is fighting a result of technology? If technology were so all-powerful wouldn't there be solutions to global problems such as World Hunger and Cancer? We have been pumping money into them for an awfully long time. This attitude reads like a copout answer from someone who is wearing the green suit but not willing to live the green lifestyle. We should be demanding more from our representatives, and shaming Arnold for his poor behaviour - not championing the few things he gets right. California is a contender for the worst air quality in North America, meaning Arnold is doing precisely what he has been elected to do. We don't pat the mail man on the ass every morning when he gets the letter in the right slot.

The third thing that caught my interest was the questions posed to the "Green" California Governor about his collection of Hummers. Now, I know that California has a large amount of rugged terrain and enemy insurgence so a Hummer is a necessity, but five Hummers? Yes, I heard you when you said that one of them runs on biofuel and smells like French fries (are you allowed to call them "French" fries again?) and that two others are also energy efficient, but five Hummers!? You have been making valiant efforts to clean up the air but what about keeping garbage out if the landfills? I am no expert, but I am fairly certain that needless consumption is not environmentally friendly.

Arnold: What kind of message do you think this conspicuous consumption is sending to the people of California?

You have gained this highly influential position it is your responsibility to set a good example for the nation to follow. If the environmental problems we face were encapsulated in a box of Smarties, then only solving the problem of emissions is like tossing out all the green ones, which comprise only one eighth of the crisis. I am not saying that what he is doing is not a good thing, but rather that reducing emissions alone is not enough, and I am sure he has a team of advisors that have told him that.

His disregard for sustainable living causes me to wonder if he is actually interested in the environment or if this is just a sensational way to get his already famous name back in lights. If you are not willing to give up your vehicle, which serves no purpose other than to solidify your image, you are not dedicated to the cause and you do not deserve praise, nor a snappy nickname.

So, my fellow Canadians: Do not accept his half-assed measures. We are more than that and should be demanding more. Let the politicians schmooze and drool over him. That is their job.
Our job is to keep them in check- making him feel loved will certainly not bring about the necessary actions for a more sustainable planet. I urge you all to look deep inside yourselves, before it is too late, and ask, "What Would David Suzuki Do?"

So, I decided to look up some great Arnold clips and I managed to find this nice compilation of his accomplishments. Also, I came upon this collection of some dudes Favourite Movie Quotes. I am also including this comment from DoctorMeatDic who reviewed it: " These are the shittest movie quotes of all time. You haven't a clue, you fucking clown."

I thought that was a little harsh. But I love "clown" as a mock, it reminds me of Bretty.

Top 5 TV Theme Songs

2007-06-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

Tamara's List

5. My Pet Monster
4. Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood
3. Fresh Prince
2. Party of Five
1. Life Goes On

Dana's List

5. The Wonder Years
4. Law and Order
3. The Jetsons
2. Saved By the Bell
1. Fresh Prince

Brad's List

5. Cheers
4. Law and Order
3. Power Rangers
2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
1. Golden Girls

Ben's List

5. Hang time
4. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
3. Alvin and the Chipmunks
2. TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles- for the less hard cores)
1. Inspector Gadget (classic)

Ellisa's List

5. Lamb-Chops Play-A-Long "The song that never ends..." ***Note from Dana: this is my most hated theme song other than Woody the Wood Pecker.
4. Family Matters
3. The Colbert Report
2. Batman
1. Law and Order

Ode to the Weekend of DANGE

2007-06-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

http://

The 'Weekend of DANGE' was as epic as the 'Summer of Love'... well if you factor in time compression and number of people affected.

I must say this about Ange and Dan- these two are a 'no holds barred' kinda couple. Often times in a relationship, in various situations, partners will slide into roles...for example: taking turns partying. When you go out drinking or partying with a boyfriend or girlfriend there is an unwritten rule that one of you should stay lucid enough to ensure that you both get home. (When you are single this is not an issue as you don't worry about getting home -Sidebar: this is way more fun). So anyways, back to Ange and Dan... so if you have a couple that both really likes to party it can be a contentious issue as to who will board the train to total inebriation, loss of bodily functions and brain activity...and sometimes, it is simply a race to see who can get there first and the loser has to back down and buck up.
In the case of the ‘DANGE’ these rules do not apply. There is no backing down. That's what I love about them. They will both go out as hard as humanly possible, and if we are really lucky we may be party to a little team barfing...

Friday Night: Honey
Song of the evening: Wolf Like Me - TV on the Radio.

The only down point in the night was the early departure of the weekend's stars as Dan decided to pound drinks immediately upon arrival could no longer feel feelings nor remain standing. It is really incredible to watch a person's transition from good times to completely inebriated as if a switch has been thrown.
The weekend’s fun didn’t end with threatening comments such as, “We are not here to make friends Ange” –Daniel Webber; nor did it end with a dirty sock assault - Ange Feehan. These two rallied and the second night was as epic as the first.

The Royal Unicorn Cabaret –a setting out of a Quinton Tarrentino film and appropriately the new Saturday night scene of choice was less full than usual as most of the hipsters and scenesters were at the Girl Talk Show. The early closing time of the Unicorn -a definite negative factor, lead us to find a worthy after party. Tracey and I were both minus an earring from the raucous dance party but we were all game for an adventure. Our crew embarked on a somewhat sketchy trek down Hastings Street in search of a cab that would take all five of us. After a bit of a debacle at Hastings and Main, involving myself, Bradley and a lucky homeless person we found a taxi and were on our way.

The after party was pretty cool. Recipe for success: A big empty room, a rad DJ, and lots of fucked-up people. Fashion highlight of the evening was Tracey’s new friend Nick, who was sporting an ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ t-shirt.

The party was only starting to get going when Vancouver’s finest decided that the time for illegal night activities was over and flashlights in hand funnelled us to the exits. We milled about outside in a vain attempt to find another party but nothing seemed to materialize. We did bump into Alan Cumming, guy from Spiderman (I can see why he plays rather dark roles as he is just plain eerie). The Dange had had enough by this point and were wisked away by the number 20, whilst Brad, Trace and I decided to join some people we met on the street and go to an after after party in Yaletown. The after after party was another unique experience and by this time it must have been around 4 am. I must say that the best part of the after after party was when Bradley and I shared a dance to Spoon. Have I mentioned that I am in love with Brad and Spoon- because I totally am.

When we got back to our place at 530, knowing that we had to take the Dange to the airport at 630 we decided to stay up, have a hooka and create a cd of night inspired songs for the drive. We were pleasantly surprised to find Ben asleep on the couch when we returned to my place and he was game to have an early morning hang out with us.

So that pretty much sums up the weekend of the Dange.
What fun!

"I can be moving or I can be still, but still is still moving to me"

2007-06-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

This morning I was confronted with the words of Jello Biafra, of the Dead Kennedys... which I am sure have a deeper origin; however, I am unconcerned with the origin, but rather it is the content of the phrase that struck me.

I have been struggling with the concept of Stillness lately. It seems that I am always rushing. Everywhere I go and everything I do seems to have a time and date stamp on it, and I am not one of those people who have to be constantly busy booking multiple appointments in a day and accepting every invitation. I take pleasure in sitting and reading a book, sipping a cup of coffee, or basking in the sunshine. I wonder when it was, that we as a society, stopped working to live and started living to work. Who likes their job, really? Doesn't everyone complain? Why is it that we rush, rush, rush each morning, allow ourselves to be held hostage for eight hours at a time and nobody sees the crime in this? How has this become the norm?

When I was in Spain last fall I was poking around a little shop looking for the perfect Spanish silver ring when this little old lady approached me and uttered in her broken English, "Closed, siesta" – here is a culture that has their priorities straight. She asked me, a potential paying customer, to leave her store as it was time for a nap. Can you imagine? This sort of mentality would never fly in the "No rest zone" of North America. Also, customer service was non-existent as everyone hated their job, they didn't paint on that shellacked plastic smile, or utilize the fake phone voice. I loved it; I revelled in the disdain for work, and praised them for their appreciation of leisure time.

I think that we have conditioned ourselves to be continually switched on. I come home from work where I exist all day as my alter ego: pleasant, polite, proper, and any other positive adjectives you can think of. I then ride home on a packed bus and am forced to listen to 9 different cell phone conversations and the same amount of different music blasting from peoples shoddy personal music devises, creating a cacophony of noise, which, in the best situation, is offensive to the ears. We have become programmed for continual distraction, so much so that we don’t know what to do with ourselves when not being berated by oral and visual assault. What happened to decompressing after a day at work, what happened to quiet reflection?

Noise is everywhere around us, it is so all encompassing that silence has almost become unnerving. And how about the art of conversation, where did it run off to? We have traded in small talk for oral abuse, I realise that chatting with a complete stranger is unappealing to some, but are we not taking it too far? This is reinforcing our individualistic and solitary society that depends on personal technological devises to keep each other at a distance- to avoid any form of communal atmosphere.

When I get home and am alone the very first thing I do is to put on some music. Is this because of a deep love for music- Yes- but perhaps it is also that I am unaccustomed to the buzz of electricity, and being alone with only my thoughts as companions is unsettling. Or, maybe it just sets the mood or tone of my atmosphere; do I have a desire to have a soundtrack set to my life, with various music to define my capricious whims? Perhaps it runs deeper than that, perhaps the passion and emotion contained within music is what we crave from each other and as we become more solitary we search for other means of attaining these sentiments. My roommate recounted a podcast that stated that people complain that life is rushing past us and that they cannot keep up, but is not life that is doing the rushing, rather it is us that cannot take the time to stop, reflect, listen and just plain exist. We all need to step away from the extraneous factors of this society, take some time, and search inwardly, do some personal reflection and ensure that our actions and aspirations are aligned.

So, in this sense, I do believe, that to attain something as precious and rare as Stillness would be undeniably moving.

Top 5 Things To Do Before You Marry

2007-06-08T16:15:00.000-07:00

Tracey’s List
right. so. five things I want to do before I get married... the edited-for-content version

1) travel. the world is a book, and if you don't travel, you only get to read one page.
2) get a post-graduate degree in Europe.
3) own a Vespa!
4) seduce a guy named Bjorn.
5) make out in an old-fashioned elevator in gastown (check)

Dana’s List

1) Have a torrent love affair with a much older gentleman who is well read and dashingly handsome. Have him whisk me away somewhere romantic like, Florence or some remote city in Spain where we can escape from reality and indulge in everything.

2) Take a trip with my girlfriends to somewhere hot and exotic where we will break all of Western Societies rules and party as though time is standing still.... while there, likely have a lesbian encounter with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

3) Have an intense relationship with a tortured musician that results in him writing a soul bearing song about his unrequited love and my charms making the name “Dana” perpetually associated with vermillion euphoria and a crushingly unattainable mystery.

4) Figure out the things that are truly important to me, develop myself as an individual and find my niche and purpose in life. Meet a partner that will complement and challenge the person that I will strive to be day to day.

5) Do some of that shit off of How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. How hilarious would that be?

Brad’s List
Top 5 "things" Brad wants to do before he gets married:

5. Tracey
4. Dana
3. Ellisa
2. Get something published
1. Ben

Ben’s List

1. Travel extensively lonesome, with a friend, or with the possible future wife
2. Buy a sickly nice sports car or crotch rocket before the wife makes me sell it!
3. THREESOME
4. Develop a good relationship with my parents and siblings
5. Secure a decent job that I am happy with

Ellisa’s List

1. Fly down to Hollywood, and proposition Heath Ledger. "Hey Heath, can I have a second? I have always had a thing for you, but I am about to get married. I know what you are thinking, YIKES! Marriage! And I can assure you that my thoughts are running along that same track. So I knew that if you and I were ever going to be, now was the time. That is why I am here, in Hollywood, Earth's equivalent to Nirvana. So what do you think, can we make it work?..."

2. Lose 20lbs, buy a plethora of pretty dresses and flirt shamelessly with every attractive man I see. No matter if it is at the grocery store, the bar, the drugstore condom aisle or even, yes, the curb on garbage pick-up day (Hey pretty hunny, give us a smile...) Dana`s Comment: Aaaaahhhhh minus the 20lbs, dont we do that anyways?

How Drinking Games are Philosophical

2007-06-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Friends are like no other; you can never replicate the dynamic of chillin' in a small group with people that you have developed a deep camaraderie with, and know a detailed history of.

I love hanging out with just the girls, especially the ones that I know, and know me, inside and out. So, last night we were playing Kings, because I am 24 years old and I still enjoy a good drinking game – by the way I am proud of this fact. Anyways, clearly after about 7 years of kings we are forced to become more inventive, including inserting such rules as: The Dictionary Card, where you must pick a word and read three definitions and the other participants must guess the correct meaning (Hanging out with me is a real barrel of monkeys let me tell you)....by the way it is considerably more difficult when you have been drinking excessively. I pulled a card that demanded that I share a fantasy-the stipulation on the card was that it could be any form of fantasy, not necessarily a sexy fantasy.

So, I told the girls about a book I read not long ago about a nomadic group of cave men called "The Clan of the Cave Bear”. In this book the society of “The Clan” was very complicated and developed; they had a hierarchy, defined gender roles, deities, and established traditions that doubled as their means of survival. The Clan was forced to leave their cave when an earthquake ripped open the land. In their search for a new cave they found a girl from another more evolved species, who was victim of the quake, helpless and alone. The Clan decided to rescue her and tried to assimilate her into their culture. Physically she looked different, but more significantly her brain was more advanced and was able to make more connections ...so mentally she was more evolved than them.

She struggled and struggled to fit into their way of life but could not because of an ability to understand concepts on a different level which left rifts between her and the others. Another result of the evolution was the urge for her to do things that were outside her gender role or even outside the confines of the species. These behaviours and thoughts shook the Clan to the core as they were beyond their ability to understand and conceive.

So, my friend Ange asked me what I was really talking about and I my response was that these people, cavemen, neanderthals whatever we want to call them, were so certain in their society. The things were the way they were and had been for as long as they knew. They didn't question the reasoning behind the values but just trusted them blindly. Taking the knowledge that science has bestowed upon our own society we can see where their conventions were false -and these are things that are foundational to them as a people - it would be like us finding out that gravity isn't gravity at all but can be explained by some completely different aspect that was previously outside our conceivability; knowledge that would rock any civilization.

This has caused me to wonder how much of the society we exist within is ideology and how much is actuality – if indeed anything exists in actuality. It wasn’t that many years ago that we believed in bleeding people to rid sickness or that diseases were caused by bad spirits. I am uncertain about what is true and what I perceive to be true because I have been conditioned to do so. I don’t mean to be a spoiler but in the end of the novel the medicine man of the Clan of the Cave Bear comes to understand that this girl is the future and that the ways of the Clan are obsolete and the end of their society is drawing to a close. I truly wonder if and when we will ever reach that tipping point within our own society, after all, compared to the age of the earth us humans do not even register as a blip. How can we live with such an arrogant outlook and reap such domination over the land- confident in the ideology that we are the masters?

Top 5 Letters in the Alphabet

2007-06-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

Brad's List

1.Q: Every word with a “Q” in it is awesome. Enough said.
2. U: Q’s retarded stepsister, it gets no attention or credit.
3. G: By far the most fun letter to write. Uppercase or Lower.
4. M: Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
5. B: For boobs. My favorite thing in the entire world.

Dana’s List

5) A~ Definitely my vowel of choice, I don’t usually put that little hood on it when I hand write it out though-> a ...and yes I call it a hood, like the letter a is wearing a hoodie.
4) V ~ Probably the most intimidating letter. Vain, Vindictive, Victory, Vendetta, Voluptuous. V is all, “look, I am not fucking around this is how I roll” and everyone else is like “yeah that’s cool” (but secretly, “fuck, V is scary shit man”)
3) S ~ SEXY! -need I say more....well I will...It slithers like a snake, brings to mind the sensation of hands salaciously exploring my body. (side bar, why isn’t there a font called SEXY? I think I may have found my calling)
2) Y ~ A result of that family guy where all the other vowels hate Y”.
1) D ~ Probably the Letter that I consciously write most frequently (having two in my name). I always think of the letter D as flowing like water not stiff or rigid like some of the other letters.

Pia’s List

I going to, (surprise!) use family guy as my reference: So absolute favourite letters the vowels- A E I O U : And the reason for why they're my favourite letters: because they hate Y for the reason that he is a phony, plays both sides of the alphabet, and only sometimes commits to being a vowel. Delta house motto- "GO BIG or go home" we don't like doing things half ass- and Y is a half ass vowel. Which is why I have come to the conclusion that A E I O U are the best letters within the english alphabet :-)

Tamara’s List

1. K - I like the randomness
2. W - symmetry
3. Y - fun to say
4. X - is a bit naughty
5. T - I like my name

Kevin's List

5. q. small q. it’s just better than capital Q.
4. W. why u when there is a double-u!
3. X. such a simple letter, and yet so (Dana's comment: Kevin did not finish his thought here. Way to leave us hanging!)

My top 2 will be from the Greek alphabet, because it’s just wicked! And also because we never use it (obviously) so its, how to say, more "exotic" than the plain old English alphabet!! Some of you may wonder, "why the hell is this guy using the Greek alphabet...the challenge should only be the English alphabet.." well I say, that’s great. It’s still an alphabet, and the challenge email didn’t say anything about what alphabet we have to choose our favourite letters from!!

2. θ. Theta. Sounds sweet. Looks sweet. It gets used a lot in mathematics which is where I’ve been exposed to it the most.

1. ψ. Psi. This would have to be by far my favourite letter. It just so happens to be the symbol of the Greek god Poseidon!! I’m sure we all know what he is the god of...and if you don’t...go look it up....please.

Tracey's List

Ok, so - I can't make it 5. Crap. Tamara and I had this conversation about her friend Greg tonight, who apparently is a pseudo-genius but always hands in his stuff like two weeks late because he "doesn't think creativity works that way". Fully appreciating how wonderful and hilarious that is, I have decided my creativity doesn't really work in fives tonight. I can only come up with four.

1) d
2) g
3) h
4) j

I think these letters are long and luxurious to write.

Ange's List

1. A - my first initial, and I like the shape, it reminds me of a person standing proud with feet spread out and hands in hips
2. R - I like the way it sounds, also its generally the last sound that children master pronunciation of.
3. W - very prominent shape, it draws you eyes, (shouldn't it be called double V?)
4. E - It looks progressive, as if the three lines are indicating that it is moving forward.
5. I pretty much like all of them except L and K because I don’t like the way they look when i write them.

Ben’s List

5 best letters in the alphabet:

M-U-S-I-C

I thought of this today when I was walking to work stepping along to somesam roberts thinking to myself what would we do without music? I can’t begin to answer that question, and for that these five simple letters of complicated proportions get my props as the best five.

Ellisa’s List

1. E, of course. I always have had an affinity for things that start with the letter E. I always loved Eeyore best, wanted Erkel to get with Laura (Family Matters) and was willing to try strange foods as a child like escargo, eggplant and edible undies (kidding on that last one. I actually discovered the pair from our first ladies nightat Skybar under my bed when we were moving.)

2. Y. A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y. That Family Guy bit is one of my most memorable for sure. I remember laughing so hard that it becamse uncomfortable (trying so hard to keep form peeing my pants andremembering to breath).

3. F. I love this letter because I have a thing for underdogs. I feel like F is underappreciated. It has become almost synonomous with Fuck (What the f? Who the f does he think he is? You gotta be fing kidding me!). Poor F. It has so much to offer, like food, feminism, fabulous, frolicking, flirting, facetious (and Laura's contribution:Farm Animal)

4. H. I love handwriting H's. i remember as a kid (when learning cursive), handwriting H's over and over again because I thought they were so pretty. And I will always love Heath. He was my first celebrity, girlhood crush. *Sigh*

5. C. C is a fav for a few reasons. Firstly, I am a proud Calder. Contributing to this affinity is the years of public education where having a last name that came at the beginning of the alphabet was a huge bonus. Secondly, C is the third letter of the alphabet and 3 sis my cosmic number. My life is filled with 3s and multiples of 3s (especially 9s), I swear. It's weird that I have this strong feeling for the number 3 because I am a content athiest. But the cosmic energy is there...weird and very true.

This Weeks Challenge - Captions!

2007-05-25T10:41:00.000-07:00

Add a Caption to each of these Pictures:

Step 1: Brazillian Wax
Step 2: Pube Lice Migration
Step 3: Imminent Head Shave
Step 4: Land role as "Vampire Extra 12" in Off-Broadway play.

Wikipedia: Postpartum depression (also postnatal depression) is a form of major depression which can affect women, and less frequently men, after childbirth.

Reporter to Brittney: "Ms.Spears, with your recent spur of insanity should the public be worried about the safety of your children?" Britney: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I ATE THEM!" (she is psyco)

"Anyone seen my makeup?"

Crazed gorilla escapes from cage in US and attacks woman, later telling zookeepers in gorilla speak that it just wanted some fried chicken"

What do you mean America doesn't love me? I'm there sweetheart! It's just hair..."

George: 3 - Ape: 47
It didn't take the ape long to figure out George's unrelenting "scissor" strategy.

Ape Shall Not Kill Ape Through A Scorched-Earth Policy Of Neo-Conservative Fear-Mongering Xenophobic Unilateral Military Corporate Empire.

"The President reflects on the act of being surrounded by those of higherintellegence"

"Facial hair sure grows fast these days."

"So you're saying, that you are pregnant with my baby? Well we will have to cover this up. After all, you are black."

Bush confronts gorilla in an attempt to prevent any further incidents, stating that he understands the intense fried chicken cravings one can get.

GeeDoubleU: "Pops, why haven't you taken mom to get her hair done? You know how she gets!"

"How Vancouver plans to end homelessness by 2010"

"Eff Arcade Fire - I know a place spaceships go."

What happens when the Michilen Man has sex with Big Bird

HASMAT hired P-Diddy as their new designer.

The Godzilla suit: tranquility can be a lifestyle

SleepingBag Ad campaign caption: "For those nights when blankets and traditional bags just won't do. Body parts touching in the night is uncomfortable; the moisture and rubbing can lead to dry skin, rashes and explosive diarrhea. No more, now you can sleep in peace, with every appendage securly wrapped in down. Purchase the sleeping suit now! Only 5 easy payments of $39.95..."

Top 5 Best Gifts Ever Recieved

2007-05-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

In order of arrival in my inbox:

Andrew’s List

5) snowglobe with pic of me and highschool sweetie inside. consequently, my friends now refer to her as snowglobe.
4) my highschool friends got me one of those little scooters as a joke, i booted around school at high speed for about 20 minutes before the principal took it away. oh they also got me an engraved flask one year,good kids they were.
3) seeing as how me and my roommate alicia had just moved out here and had no friends, my birthday was a little underwhelming last November, but she made up for it by getting messages from all my friends back home and posting them all over my bedroom door with pictures and arts n crafts touches.
2) a mix cd from a quasi-girlfriend entitled "original songs for straight weddings", which could well have dominated the worst songs ever challenge, it featured kc and jojo "all my life", michael bolton's "howam i supposed to live without you", dirty dancing's "(i've had) the time of my life", bryan adams "(everything i do) i do it for you", boyz ii men "i'll make love to you", that titanic song, aerosmith "i dont want to miss a thing", and other such gems. in unrelated news, that girl is now a lesbian.
1) teenage mutant ninja turtle themed birthday! tmnt clothes (matching sweatsuit), a tmnt video game, and an actual turtle! (most boring pet ever)

Ange’s List

Dana, this challenge was quite difficult. I don't seem to have a great memory for gifts that I have received.
One really sweet and funny one was from a boyfriend in highschool. It was an angel with a large A attached to her right side (Angel + A = Angela, get it?). It was made of pennies glue and Popsicle sticks, very ugly. There was a note attached to the back that said something along the lines of: Dear Ange, I wanted to buy you something expensive for your birthday, like a diamond ring or an ostrich, but I dont think you are old enough to take care of a diamond ring, and I don't think we are ready for a commitment like an ostrich, and you probably wouldn't like either of these things anyways, so I decided to make you something meaningful that you wouldn't like. Happy Birthday.

Ben’s List (in no particular order)

1. Joint Roller (really just any paraphernalia ever received)
2. Nixon Rotolog
3. Jet-ski for my 20th Birthday
4. Plane ticket to Cali to live for a while
5. Bone Crusher Xtreme (remote control Monster Truck that big enough to runshit over fo real)

Tracey’s List

5) arrested development from Archie, out of nowhere and unwrapped
4) matching bikes under the Christmas tree for my brother, sister, and I when I was a kid
3) random cards for no reason at all from Brad, all bearing relevant inspirational musings
2) the bong - so beautiful!
1) my belt buckle from Ben, who remembered from forever ago that I said I wanted one with a bull on it

Dana’s List

5. Snake in a box- Shawn gave me a small wooden box that when you pull back on the leaver a snake comes out and bites your finger. It is simple and unassuming but it still cracks me up. I love gifts that have no reason that are just suiting to the person.

4. Tea pot – for Christmas a few years ago, Dave – my step Dad picked it out and it is beautiful.

3. Tiara- When I was about 7, I was in the town next door – Trail where they had this great old mom and pop jewellery shop. I was there in the summer with my Mom and I found a diamond tiara that I wanted so so badly – yes I went through a princess phase in my early years. So I had finally convinced my mom and we went to buy it. (this was a serious tiara, rhinestones and imitation silver) The man behind the counter, who knew me by this time because I forced my mother to visit the tiara every time we went to Trail, had some bad news for me. Miss Trail had just come into the shop and purchased my tiara, and alas, I looked to the purple velvet pillow and it was gone. I was heartbroken. Fast-forward 4 months to Christmas time, I open an unassuming square box and within..... I wore it straight for 3 years, and still have a piece of it in my jewellery box.

2. Brontosaurus on a stick – Every year for my birthday Bradley gives me a personalised cd and something that he found out in the world. My favourite find is the Brontosaurus that sits on a piece of wood with an inspirational phrase on the back. When we moved last week I was putting the dinosaur into a box when I looked up at Ellisa and said, "Oh my god, where is the piece of wood?" to which she replied, "Relax, I already packed it".

1. The Hooka- Gift of all gifts, this gift was special for many reasons.

It was a culmination of two other gifts that were rejected for not being perfect.
Also it is the most beautiful Hooka I have ever seen, exemplified through the fact that I had to name her Opal because she is such a gem.
Not only is it the best Hooka with the longest hoses perfect for lounging, it is also what the Hooka stands for, which is friends gathering around, great conversation, glowing candles, and a dizzy head. (All great aspects)

*** Honourable mention: the cherry pin the girls got me for Christmas last year. It is so perfectly Dana and I have worn it an absolute tonne - how well do my friends know me.

Ellisa's List
(In no particular order...I love them all equally!)

1. When I was thirteen my mom, her friend Margaret, her daughter Jen and I flew down to "the City" (Vancouver) for a girl's weekend. We stayed in a hotel on the water and went shopping in boutiques. I remember my mom buying a sculpture of a cowboy riding a horse made of iron that swung back and forth on a pedestal (I can't remember what it is called) for one hundred dollars!! I was astounded; could my mom spend that much money on one thing?! (I can only guess how much our hotel cost a night...) The highlight of the weekend (and reason for the trip) was a night out to go see Riverdance. We had dinner at a restaurant that was so fancy they pulled out my chair for me and placed my napkin on my lap. There was a live piano player and the most exquisite seafood dishes there. Riverdance was phenomenal and attending it fulfilled a childhood my dream. I left full of desires to be dancer and spend my life on stage.

2. Matt and I had only been dating a 6 months or so when I received the best gift he ever gave me; hair elastics. A few weeks prior I had been complaining about how my hair elastics pulled at my hair and the metal piece would get stuck and break off pieces of hair. I wanted the no-pull elastics, but didn't know where to get them etc. etc. It was really an off shoulder comment, so the conversation faded quickly from my memory. One day out of the blue, Matt pulled out a package of no-pull hair elastics. I was stunned. He said, "Oh I was in Safeway today and saw these and I knew you wanted some." He gave them to me and continued on telling me whatever story he had been recalling. I was stunned. For some reason, I was completely taken aback by his thoughtfulness. It was such a simple gift but it displayed his affection for and attentiveness to me in a way I can't remember ever having received from anyone else.

3. My Chef's Knife from my Mom. I love it. I would have never thought that I should buy a good knife if I loved so cooking so much, so when I received it for Christmas from my parents (aka Mom) I was stunned. She knew what I wanted when I did not even know what it was that I wanted. Her gift intuitiveness is astounding. Every year my Mom outdoes herself.

4. When I was younger, I loved reading. My absolute favourite books were Nancy Drew mysteries. I was never into the Babysitters Club, Goosebumps or any new series. It was all about the Classics. I remember my Mom giving me a few of her old Nancy Drew novels from when she was a girl. They smelled wonderfully of old book and the bindings were loose and some pages were creased. They were absolutely perfect. When I held them in my hands, reading furiously (or as furiously as a 10 year old can), I was reading a book; a real book.

5. For my 21st birthday I was stuck at home studying. But I received two superb gifts that night (I'm cheating Dana, sorry!). The girls made me a fabulous birthday dinner and dessert. The best part of dinner was the Barefoot Contessa Potatoe Salad. My recipes are chicken scratch with point form directions at best, so the salad turned out unique to Dana and Tracey. You could taste the effort and love in every bite! The second best gift of the evening was from my little brother Ben. He played a song for me on his guitar over the phone. He chose Blackbird by the Beatles. I started bawling like a baby listening to him strum away. That got my Mom crying and it was a very touching family moment. The fact that he chose that song just for me and then played it perfectly on my birthday touched my heart. I have to hold back tears every time I hear the song played.

Bradley’s List

1.Archie Comic from my brother - Me and my brother always got along, but we also fought all the time, and I had come to believe he was an insensitive jerk; but then one Christmas he bought me an Archie comic, without any push or reason, and it was just a great moment. At the time I was like “What the hell”? Yet, I now realize it was pretty awesome of him.

2. Cat from my Grandma and Grandpa -Me and my Grandma went harmlessly one day into a pet store. She of course a smoke in her hand, me; with the dream of owning my own cat. I had the plan to try and convince my Grandma to buy me one. So, I found the most hyper one, and I begged, and begged. We left without the cat, but I never let up. So, my grandma made me call my Grandpa to ask permission. He was too busy drinking his hooch and enjoying the day without me or my grandma, he said yes right away.

We went back to the pet store, and I finally had my first cat of my own. As we were walking out of the store I dropped him, and he almost got ran over, which was a premonition of events to come…

About a year later, Buster, got ran over by an asshole in a white jeep. When my grandma went to scrape him off the pavement, she put him in a bucket and then showed the dead cat to me.

Scarred for life.

3. Unicorn Horns from Dana -This is very depressing because we never used the horns, and it is one of my life regrets. Working at the BCGA was a hard and stressful time for me and Dana, and one thing we looked forward too was the drive home where we could sing Diana Ross, and make fun of bad drivers, hideous people, or ugly lawn decorations.

One of our favourite houses was the “animal house” which was guarded by various stone animals, a la Narnia. The front walkway had two very majestic looking mustang horses, and we thought they would look so much better with unicorn horns. So for my birthday last year I received impeccably made silver and pink horns.

Just stellar.

Too bad we never got around to the prank of taping the horns on.

2. Pictures in a frame from Tracey My soulmate, my true love, and my sexual fantasy in a past life; collected some of her favorite pictures and favorite moments of the three glorious years we had spent together, and put them into a standing frame.

The frame included a ticket from the Agrolites concert; which was an embarrassing night for me, and I was only helped through the morning by a chipper Tracey reading me the definition of “oaf” out of the dictionary. She of course paused while I was puking my guts out.

Oh, Tracey, how I love thee.

1.“Spirited Away” from Kim Me and my friend Kim went at random to a Japanime film Spirited Away, half as a joke. The movie was absolutely fascinating. We had such an amazing time, and could not believe what we just saw.

The following Christmas we got each other the exact same gift, the DVD of Spirted Away. It was a hilarious moment, and I still watch that movie in awe every once in a while.

Kevin's List

(not in order of preference)

1) back when i was 15 or so....i got my first set of dive gear. some of which i still have to this day. it came from the dive crew i basically grew up with so it really meant alot to me at the time!!
2) my gold chain. from my sister. it is not just a gold chain. its a symbolizes a brother/sister bond . i just have to think what i should get her
3) on my 18th birthday i received a "Fishes of the tropics" identification book from some close freinds of mine. it was a gift of thought. thats why it makes this list.

4) a mountain bike at age 17. it was a prized possession. and overall a sweet bike which gave me a greater freedom to go where i wanted to go on the tiny island i grew up on!!
5) my very first discman (portable CD player!!!) back when i was 13..is that a late age to get your first discman? i think so. but i had that same player until at least age 18.

Top 5 Worst Songs - Since 2000

2007-05-11T12:40:00.000-07:00

Top 5 Worst Songs - Since 2000:

Kevin’s List

1. Come Clean - Hilary Duff.......she is really bad
2. Black Parade - My chemical romance (Plus EVERY song that they have produced throughout their pathetic career...it is the worst excuse of music a band could produce)
3. Coming Home - Michael Buble.......the most annoying...repetitive song EVER
4. Burn - Usher...don’t even get me started on this guy
5. Arms Wide Open - Creed....speaks for itself.....

Ellisa’s List

1. The Bad Touch – Bloodhound Gang
2. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
3. Achy Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus
4. Blue (DaBaDee) – Eifel 65
5. S Club Party – S Club 7

Dana’s List

1. Trapped in the Closet- R Kelly
2. My hump- Black Eyed Peas
3. Lips of an Angel - Hinder
4. Don’t cha – Pussy Cat Dolls
5. So yesterday – Hillary Duff
6. My Way – Limp Bizkit
*****Dana's Comment: this song was the theme song for WrestleMania 7, wow what a shocker.

OSCULATE

2007-05-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

os•cu•late

ˈɒs kyəˌleɪt - [os-kyuh-leyt]

Pronunciation Key - verb, -lat•ed, -lat•ing. –verb (used without object)

1. to come into close contact or union.
2. Geometry. (of a curve) to touch another curve or another part of the same curve so as to have the same tangent and curvature at the point of contact. –verb (used with object)
3. to bring into close contact or union.
4. Geometry. (of a curve) to touch (another curve or another part of the same curve) in osculation.
5. to kiss.

I am not cut out for an office. I cannot sit in my chair properly. I remove my shoes immediately and have to sit cross legged. I am certain that the others think I am weird. Am I the only one? All I do is listen to music, drink coffee and look up good words on dictionary.com, which I don’t even think is a very scrupulous site. (yes scrupulous was a product of the thesaurus) Anyways, I am reviving the word osculate because of a confusion with a roommate who titled a mix cd Oscillate Gloriously... which means move or sway; but, I had interpreted it as osculate- to kiss... gloriously. Although, I am not certain how to kiss gloriously....I guess the rush you encounter could be considered glorious, the surging sensation of lowering your barriers and connecting with another human being in an intimate capacity. Grazing their lips with your lips, teasing each other with a playful tongue, a gentle nip. I am not going to lie, I like to kiss, and gloriously sounds like a good way of doing it.
I did find this interesting article on the CBC, On Kissing, that relates that, "On average, a woman kisses 79 men before finding a husband". Kiss on sisters!